My Mom and I go for a walk every morning and the rest of the day she does nothing. Made a veggie garden and she was happy and then said I can't help bending is bad for the spine. It seems like all the years living alone and doing nothing has left her with no manners or the will to participate in anything out of her chair. How do I get her more motivated to do anything including bathing. I feel like I am her personal maid.
The walk is great. Good for you!
An adult day care health program ("day care") may be a partial solution. At least it would be a change of scenery, a chance to interact with other adults, and exposure to some activities. It gives you a break, too.
Could she cut out and/or sort grocery coupons? Fold some kinds of laundry? Have some chores expected of her?
How is her handwriting? Could she be given a stack of old photos and a soft photo-labeling pencil and write names on the backs of the pictures?
My mother liked outings to a plant nursery. Colorful, fragrant, wide aisles, and she could pick out a houseplant to bring home.
My husband loved visiting the local science museum, geared for children but not in a condescending way.
simple pleasures..
Just prier to her getting the Alzheimer's she had instructed myself and my brother that if she ever got to a point where she needed to be cared for to put her in a nursing home so she could hang out with the other old ladies and have a great time.
Today however she is terrified of the idea thinking it is absolutely horrible and has no desire what so ever to be creative. The only things that capture her attention are when we go out for drives, shopping (only for a minute then she is bored and wonders) and watching Eureka on Netflix (we have watched all 9 seasons at least a dozen times over the year).
She gets angry when we mention a seniors day program...she just does not relate to playing bingo and such.
Mom is totally not motivated to do anything, like bathing, but I insist and if she is being particularly stubborn tell her that she can't go out with us if she does not...then she huffs off to take the bath I've already made for her.
My mom's personality does not lend to kind reminders, hints or redirection, so I have to be firm and demanding with her, which is not my personality so much but you do what works.
The Neurologist said that you can't force them to get involved with anything, or even want to do anything...just every once in a while offer something different to do...with the Alzheimer's they may forget they don't like to do things and find an interest in things they once didn't want to do...so it's possible...but I've not found it to be so yet.
The regular doc who we have only seen once really tried to convince my mom to go to a day program and it really adjetated her and I told the Dr that mom just isn't interested for several reasons, and she (Dr) got kinda upset with me and insisted we get her involved in art projects etc. LOL...I'm an artist and so is my eldest daughter and my other two kids do art projects all the time at home. We have oil paints, acrylic paints, water colors, crayons of every type...colored paper, paper with designs ... basically we are set up.
She said...well maybe if you'd offer...of course my mom said she had never been offered ... well she does not remember...but I told the doc we offer all the time.
My point is this...the Neurologist said that it's a shame but most Dr's don't understand when some people just don't fall into the regular category and he said just ignore them and keep on doing what we are and stop feeling guilty about it.
Sorry I'm a little long winded. :) Hope it helps though.
I'm not responsible for her happiness or entertainment. She is lucid enough to understand and make a change if she is unhappy, so I'm at peace with that. She seems content with being solitary and living alone "her way".
For all of the care-givers who do not want to leave loved ones sleeping or sitting in a chair all day and refusing help, check out this video about learning and connection. Much of it also applies to persons with dementia, what happens when the connections are broken and how we can use these tools to effortlessly help our loved ones with connecting to their life with us.
youtube/watch?v=yaSWWmTsQ4A
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