I love my Mother very & it's gonna kill me when she dies. I want to spend every minute I can with her. She has dementia & can't make her own decisions she has to always ask her caregiver. her caregiver dosen't like me so she always makes excuses why I can't come. Her caregiver is my brother's girlfriend & my mother loves her & trust her with anything shw says. My mother could die at any time. The Dr. gave her til May & it is now June! I need help ASAP! Is there a legal way I can get document signed my a judge that will allow me to see her every chance I get???
I am doing nothing to deserve this...it is just his last gasp at having some control over his big sister who he does not like.
I don't know how to process any of this, it is emotionally draining and exasperating and so just plain mean. I could likely get some kind of legal protection, but that would just upset Mother, I fear.
I guess I will simply step away and let my Mother go...my brother could easily out-lawyer me, as I have no money and he has alot...and time is ticking away and I guess I will take it one day at a time, but for today, I am just trying to quit thinking about it all the time so I can get my work done and not go crazy with how wrong this all is.
You need to get legal help. Or talk to your brother and help he realize that this is also your Mom and you have rights to see her. I do not know the reasoning for his decision to not allow you to see her but, this is no time for him or your sister in law to play god. So get up and do what you need tot do to make it happen.
I would call the non emergency police number and see if there is anything you can do today/tomorrow. Maybe they would be wlling to be a stand by so they can witness you being denied access and then you could fill out a police report
while doing that i would get on the phone and start asking elder law attorneys if they can legally keep you away from your mother; jot down all the answers
while you are waiting for call backs from the attorneys i would calll the alz 800 number toll free and they have social workers that might be able to direct you
this completely sucks and I feel for you; this is....I don't even know the word! What have they said to keep you away?
My sister hasn't seen my mom in 5 years; my sister is twisted and falls in the is she people category. she is so twisted that she is probably telling everyone i won't let her see my mother...
I should probably make it clear to sister all the times i have suggested come and see mom, invite mom to see you etc. any ideas on such a letter?
My heart goes out to you. Please please let us know the outcome. personally, i am worried about you and for you.
My Mother is 88, if often in ill health and when she is hospitalized, which she often is, I do not even know about it until she is well enough to call me herself.
This is a ridiculous situation and I do not know what to do about it. Can my brother keep me from "trespassing" on this property without some kind of reason other than that he doesn't like me?
We have had no altercations, there has been no fighting, no violence, just this statement that they do not want me around. For awhile, I just went and visited anyway, but my sister-in-law has recently re-stated her feelings about this one day when I was at my mom's house. She came over and yelled at me. I left. My mother is too afraid of (and too dependent upon them) to stand up to either of them.
This is killing my soul. And one day, my mother will die, and I guess I will read about it in the paper.
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