So, yesterday I got a phone call where I was informed that I won something. It's a passion project of mine, and I remember reflecting that I wish my Mom was alive to see it.
I just woke up now. In my dream, my Mom, with full blown Parkinson's disease (but still walking), somehow made it to my campus, to my hospital where I am doing residency, just to give me a huge and congratulate me.
In the dream, I asked her, "How were you able to get here alone?“ and she said:
"When I heard my last boy won a prize, I had to come see him. I snuck out of the house whilst your Dad wasn't looking and took a plane."
(P.S. my Mom really was that kind of woman. Whilst we were still discussing a problem, she would get up and go solve it herself 🤣).
Then I asked her, how is she going to return home? And she said, "Haven't thought of that part yet."
Then of course the Parkinson’s took over and I had to rush her to the bathroom. Even whilst i was helping her in the bathroom to clean herself, she was still congratulating me and wishing me good luck. Then the dream faded...
This was the second time I have had this.
The first dream was one when she lectured me and told me "don't cheat on your wife whilst you're doing residency" (I haven't cheated.)
I don’t know when these dreams come, and I am certainly not unwise enough to go seeking them out (I've seen enough horror movies).
But I appreciate them when they happen.
These dreams make the grieving easier. It’s like she is still there. Guiding me. Correcting me. Encouraging me.
Mom is still looking out for me.
For me - my dad loved red birds/cardinals. He had one come visit him every day and sit outside of their camper window when they were at the campground. The bird would sit there as long as daddy sat in his chair. Now, any time I see a red bird - I say "hi daddy".
I will catch glimpses of older men once in a blue moon in an outfit like my dad practically lived in, with a long grey beard and I know its not dad of course, but in my head its a Godwink to remind me of him.
I think to your point as long as you take them for what they are, a special reminder of your mom and a way to keep her in your memories - I think that's just a wonderful thing.
I do agree with you - sometimes people can dwell on things or get too deep in them and that's not incredibly healthy. You don't want to stay in the same place if you can help it. You can take those as helping you gain closure and grieving the moments that you would have liked to share or advice you need to hear from someone else that is already in your mind. And as long as you are healthy about it, I think it is a perfectly normal.
Whilst I take comfort in these dreams, I'm certainly not going to do anything to try to "induce" it. I've watched all the Exorcist movies...I know better (wink).
I think we may all have this capability some of us nurture or accept it more than others.
You have been blessed with this...
She will always be with you..