After taking care of my entire family off and on my entire life, 31 yrs, and since my dad passed 4 yrs ago, I have been sole 24/7 caregiver to both. My mom has multiple problems including multiple strokes, TIA's, heart attacks, diabetes, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, lupus, arthritis, Ehlers Danlos, mental illnesses and more. My brother has cerebral palsy and is 44, quadriplegic, mental age more of 12, mental issues majorly including severe anger issues. Both of them have physically and emotionally abused me many times, so bad to where cops had to get involved. I have permanent back and hip injuries due to the abuse. After dealing with this for 4 yrs, and all of my childhood from my mother, I have decided I am done and want to move on with my life. Originally, my mom agreed to go into a home on May 15th and agreed to have my brother placed into a home. However, now she has decided to do none of that. I have POA on my mom but not on my brother. This must happen by June 5th, as my boyfriend's family has already booked my plane ticket for their family reunion at end of June, and I must go. This was booked back when my move out date was May 1st. But my mom wants to make sure that my life is continued as a prisoner to this house as their caretaker. She doesn't care what I want nor what I deserve. I want to make sure they go to a place that they would be happy at and not some horrible home Adult Protective Services sends them to. How can I do this on this short of notice without involving Adult Protective Services? Please help me! I can't take any more of this abuse and threats and everything else they do to me. I truly feel like the only family I have is my boyfriend. That I no longer have an actual family, I feel all I am to them is their slave! Please help me!
But you've given and taken more than is humanly tolerable and it's time for you to move on - there's nothing more you can do to change the situation or help them.
Don't feel guilty; you've been more than understanding and are entitled to some peace in your life. I agree that moving far away would be desirable. And never feel guilty; in fact, your departure may cause them to adapt to a more healthy mode of living when you're unavailable.
And on the PPO issue - your brother's just trying to scare and harrass you. He has absolutely no grounds to get a PPO. I've been involved in getting one for my parents, and even though there were good grounds, I still had to be persuasive when I drafted the rationale for the order. Even then, the judge modified some of the restrictions we requested.
If your brother even tried, he would have no justification, but even if he went to a PPO office to get the petition process started, I suspect his behavior would quickly cause him to be escorted from the courthouse.
Take a deep breath, shake your shoulders and move forward. Best of luck!
I also give you credit for not staying in the home on Friday even with your BF there. He would be exposed to your brother's behavior, and would most likely be uncomfortable and unhappy to see you treated so badly.
Hang in there, just a few more days to freedom! Andjust keep thinking about the vacation you'll have in a few days.
OMG....you have been manipulated by your mother for many years and she has, indeed, made you her SLAVE! Run, run as fast as you can. You have NO obligation to continue to live with or care for somebody who continues to abuse you! Stick to your guns and LEAVE TOWN! If you mother insists on "staying in her own house," tell her to hire a full-time caregiver out of her own pocket. Otherwise, she will need to go where APS places her.
As to your brother gaining the house even though he's unable to keep it up, remember that it's really not your problem. Given his attitude and abuse of you, you still need to think of yourself first. And would you really want the house if he refused to leave?
Stick to your decisions and think of yourself first.
Please take the advise that has been given to you and take care of yourself. I've also seen family members die before the ones they were taken care of. DON'T LET THIS BE YOU! Love and preace