Despite despite being her power of attorney and primary caregiver upon need for emergency medical care the nursing home did not contact me, they contacted a relative in another state who I really don't even know how they have their information and the hospital did not contact me regarding her death. I really don't know what to do, but I can't let this go.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
Taking this slowly from the beginning, can you explain what happened as far as you have been able to find out?
Obtaining a copy of her file with the NH (who was the Emergency Contact on file?)
through an attorney is a start.
Who were the most recent visitors, and did they know you?
To expedite, you can ask the NH Ombudsmen to look into this.
The NH ombudsmen is posted for the public to see at the NH.
Maybe you can withhold final payment until you get an answer?