I do not need to go over the nitty gritty of the details. She has alz but all other vital signs are normal. Granting nothing catastrophic or cataclysmic will happen, my mom might linger on and heave her entire care to me for another 10 or more years. I have paid and still paying heavily in terms of lost income, unemployment, lost opportunity not to mention no wedding ring or even a serious boyfriend or even just the time to have a meaningful relationship and been stuck postponing my plans, my own life, my own dreams and ambitions. I worry in the next 1 to 2 years she will eat up all the resources I intend for my own daughter who will be moving soon in the next 2 years to high school. Last night i searched the internet for any medicine that might do the job. Any ideas? I just hope the meds are available in my country (I'm not in the US). If Mother Nature won't do her job on my mom, I have to do it myself. This cant go on for another 5 or 10 years. I myself turning 40 this 2011 I also must save for my own retirement and my own sanity. With mom possibly alive for the next decade, how in the world will I save for my self while sustaining me, my daughter and my mom. I have been officially unemployed for 6 months this December. Any drugs or meds to do the job? I don't have a car to do the CO2.
here in the us we dont do these kinds of things but you need to talk to your doctor
and you need to have friends or family take your daughter
and you need to take you mother or tell some one you are leaving your mother
dont leave with out tell someone you are leaving
you dont have to tellthem where you are going
but tell them you are leaving her alone
and get your daughter to a safe place dont take her with you
you need help
you are on the verg youself
go find help , hugs and kisses , xoxox
GET HELP FOR YOU
There are services. Look for local Alzheimer's services, and also try to get help for what may be serious depression on your part. Don't do anything you'll regret for life. Go to www.alz.org and find contacts there to help you through this. You need to reach out.
Hang on and ask for help - we're with you.
Carol
lovbob
www.alzphilippines.com/caregiver/
Some cannot comprehend what others go through. Just because we are cgs does not mean we share the same experience.
Some of us care for parents who were not good parents. Some of us grew up in dysfunctional homes. Some of us had wonderful parents with sweet childhood memories. We come at our task of cg from all angles. We should never, ever judge each other.
But...... I think most of us agree that "shortening a life span" or taking a life is not the answer.
I am so sorry for mhmarfil that she feels that this is the only answer.
I understand that she lives in a country that does not have the resources that the U.S. has. mhmarfil has said that she does not want our advice; our suggestions won't fit her. But I hope we can all come up with enough encouragement for her that she changes her mind. mhmarfil, stay with us and lets see if we can help you.
Mhmarfil DOES NOT live in the U.S. She does not have the resources that we do.
"You should be ashamed of yourself" for attacking someone less fortunate than you who is merely crying out for help and understanding.
You should be ashamed of yourself, but I don't know you or your conscience.
Everyone here can sympathise and understand your situation...But ! your the first I have ever seen on here be so extremely hateful about it. What you take for everyone feeling this way but are to embarrassed or they don't have the guts to say it...it simply not true!
While there are some who have simply wished God would just let them die to put them out of the pain and heartache they are all going through....I can pretty much guarantee that they wouldn't want to, let alone seriously consider, OFFING they're parents.
Normally I would empathise and sympathise with those who are going through the things you say your going through, but... Just really listening and looking at what you've written here, say's to me that it's more about you and what you want than it is to seriously love and protect your mother.
There are ways that you can get her the help she needs without having to kill her off, Just use your heart not your self-centered mind and look for a way to have your so called cake and eat it too without her having to suffer the ramifications of your pity trip.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't live your life the way you want from here on out! But at the VERY LEAST leave her with someone or in some place that will take care of her. This way you wont have to feel as guilty later on when your daughter wants to get rid of you to live her life and you can die knowing that you did the best for your own mother in the end.
Can you imagine how you mother would feel if she new what you wanted to do, could you seriously be able to live with yourself?
Please ! leave your Mother with someone else before you do something totally off the charts of reality.
Marissa, don't listen to the abusers. they're idiots who don't get it. Next.
Over on the Grossed Out Thread we have been trying to come up with an answer for you and I think the best one is for you to clean your mom up nice and pretty, pack a bag for her and take her to a hospital with a note. Treat her with love and know that you are doing this for the THREE of you. You, you mom and your daughter.
In the long run, taking her to a place that she will be safe is your best choice. make sure that they have the info they need to access any funds she has coming in to be put into her care.
I know that you want to do something about it, but you know deep down that you just can't.
If you are truly this far down at the end of your rope, protect your mom and daughter from your depression, get your mom to a hospital and then get yourself the help you need to climb back into your life.
You can do this! you've been a strong caregiver for 19 years!
Just a few more days!
lovbob
Hey Jam. this is a bad one, isn't it.
Marissa, we do wish you would check in and let us know how you and your mom and your daughter are.
lovbob
Contact social services or a medical professional and find a nursing facility that takes elders with Alz. There she will have 24/7 care and you can visit but you will separate yourself to the point that you have your own life.
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I've been not sleeping thinking about this lady and her poor mom and her poor daughter.
sux not knowing.
lovbob