My father-in-law makes a gun with his fingers and says bang while aiming it at his wife. He has never used a real gun and there are no guns in the house. He was recently diagnosed with alzheimers. I know he's trying to be funny when doing this, but we've never seen him joke around like this before. Should we be concerned?
Do not give it any attention whatsoever. Do not react to it in any way. If you react he will do it more.
Just ignore him and he'll get tired of doing it if it gets him no attention.
My SFIL had Parkinsons and Lewy Body dementia. He regularly threatened to kill us so we made sure to remove his rifle that we knew he owned.
What does FIL's wife think about this? Is she a vulnerable adult (someone with cognitive or physical impairment)? Is anyone the PoA for FIL? If he has dementia then no amount of 'splaining is going to change this behavior, but rather redirect the conversation or distract him. If this behavior increases or escalates, please consider it threatening and call 911 to report it. It may be a situation where he needs to have a "social admit" for psychiatric problems. What's to prevent him from picking up a knife as a weapon? Your family will need to seriously think about what to do with this situation if the wife is at all vulnerable.
Yes there could be dementia, but with that I'm also wondering if there is some built up resentments in your dad towards your mom that are boiling up and coming out because of dementia.
I would be concerned with other things he could say or even do. I feel like your fil needs to go to doctors, and your husbands family should keep a close eye on things
I would be very certain that no one laughs about this behavior, but shuns it.
And as mentioned below, given his current ideations, I would insure there are no guns in the home.
I would encourage placement in facility as soon as possible so that this woman can have some quality in her life ongoing.
Does he still drive?
Is there any way possible that he could get his hands on a gun?
Has he made any other threats or has there been any other indication of violence?
If not I would just keep telling him that it is inappropriate to do that.
There can be personality changes with dementia.
If there has been no other indications of violence I would not overly worry but if it escalates let his doctor know.