Follow
Share

Two calls to adult protective services and cases were closed, nothing done. Mom is still suffering neglect and abuse. I've been banned from visiting.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Your mom has dementia. There are laws about who decides. If your mom is mentally competent (it's possible, even if she has dementia), then she can sign herself out of the nursing home if she wants.

If your mom is mentally incompetent, she can't decide. Her POA can decide. But guardianship trumps POA. If you want to be the decision-maker, if you feel you will make good decisions for your mom, then go to court and file for guardianship. If her husband opposes you in court, you'll have to try to win. The court will also ask your mom (even though she has dementia) whether she would like to have you as her guardian. It's expensive to file for guardianship.

If you think right this moment a crime is being committed against your mom, or your mom is in danger, then call the police. You have real evidence of this danger? There's no need to answer me, but keep that in mind. The fact that you're hesitating to call 911, means you're not sure you really have evidence of immediate danger, otherwise you would have called the police already.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

What's the reason the cases were closed with adult protective services? I'd guess that they found no crime or reason to change things for mom.

If you believe and have proof otherwise, you should perhaps go to the police. But they're unlikely to do anything if you don't have proof. Do you have videos or recorded phone calls? Have you seen a crime with your own eyes?

If mom is the one complaining to you, and if she's in a nursing home, why do you believe what she says? You can't believe dementia patients. They make stuff up and try to get attention. They don't know what is happening to them much of the time.

Their stories are told to make sense of what they don't understand. For instance, I had a relative who believed there was someone hiding in his house. The reason? He saw wet footprints leading up to his door. He didn't remember that he was the one who recently came in the door. There was no one else, and the footprints exactly matched the sole of his running shoes, which were an unusually small size for a man. But he couldn't be convinced that no one had entered his house. I'm glad I didn't call the police on that one!

Do what you want, but don't be taken in by unprovable allegations. It's a waste of everyone's time.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Not much the police can do. If APS has investigated and closed the case, they feel Mom is being cared for and not abused. Her husband has a right to place her if he can no longer care for her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I read your profile. Her husband put her in a nursing home, correct? Plus you are banned. It is no wonder that APS closed the case. If you want guardianship then it will be expensive and highly doubtful the judge will agree to it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Sadly, your wish to care for Mother in your home, may not match the reality of what your Mother needs.

Your can love her.

But love is not enough to provide 24/7 care to a person with Alzeimers/Dementia.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter