My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 3 years ago. She's now stage 4 or early stage 5. She's in an ALF in Indiana near where she lived the past 30 years. I live >600 miles away in Pennsylvania. She lives in an "independent living" apartment primarily because she declines any assisted living help. It's become clear she needs to move to a memory care facility very soon. I'm considering moving her to memory care near me in PA. My hope is by being closer and being present more often I'll be better informed and more able to work closely with the staff. The logistics of the move will be difficult but not impossible. She won't want to move far away, but she won't want to move to memory care where she's at either. I'm thinking a single move now, even if it's long distance, is better than a local move then deciding later she needs the longer move. I would appreciate hearing your thoughts.
In my case the long distance managing is working for us. It’s a good place, great staff and they stay in touch regarding any issues that arise.
Including an initial trip of 2 weeks in December ive been down twice since. Honestly, it seems to make things worse when I visit. I represent all things “home” . Dad wants to know where his car is. Mom wants to know why she is there. Plus I’m the bad guy who put them there.
The logistics of moving them would be a nightmare. Not to mention disrupting the routine that they are finally getting used to. I’ve decided to continue the long distance magement plan.
To fill in a few details about my mom - one big disappointment is she hasn't connected to anyone while living independently at the present facility. She has actively avoided being with/around others as much as possible. To her, they all have mental issues - though she doesn't.
So wherever she moves to memory care she'll be starting over and probably with a bad attitude to begin with. I'm hoping the caregivers are skilled in dealing with Alzheimer's patients to connect them and draw them out - even if only a little bit.
My main motivation was mentioned in a couple answers. If I'm closer and seen more often by the staff they might be more inclined to be helpful and to work with her.
Thanks again.