In general I think she has an unpleasant attitude. The most recent situation really unnerved me. My mother developed a cold type infection. When I heard her speak I felt she needed an antibiotic and my intervention got her put on a 5 day course quickly. She improved but was told to stay in her room and receive meals there. I had no problem with that but by day 5 she sounded back to normal. Yesterday was a holiday craft selling event within the facility. My mother enjoys going to this. This is her 3rd year at this AL. This aide was telling her she couldn't attend. I would have agreed if she truly was still sick but she had rallied greatly. I went higher up within the facility and the director personally went to her room and allowed her to attend. My mother called me later and thanked me profusely as she bought items as gifts for a few relatives she is close to and this is a simple event she enjoys without too much physical effort. My question is do I complain further about this aide who in general is not pleasant. I have a survey from the facility and I could mention this. I could or could not mention her name simply indicating the attitude issue. She seems to be the only one who can be unpleasant so I don't want to complain about others. In anyone's opinion do I take this further? My mother is not becoming good at advocating for herself. I try not to be bossy unless there is a situation that needs my intervention.
Bring some grocery store treats from the bakery for the staff and of course the residents who stay there... Not all the time, but every once in awhile.
But do let this staff person know, that your MOM IS SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL, AND SHE DESERVES THE BEST. !!! And place your concerns with her that your mom OH SO ENJOYS THE ACTIVITIES ESPECIALLY AROUND THE HOLIDAYS...! Then bring in ginger bread cookies with the heads eaten off... :{ sorry wrong story... you get it... Make your presence known...
Kill em with kindness and some treats.
As for the craft sale - you can't fault the aide for inflexibly following procedure, respiratory illness spreads like wildfire and kills many vulnerable seniors in such facilities every year.
Both Mayday and Cwillie are correct, you need to be diplomatic and appreciative of the staff who is wiping the unmentionables of our loved ones day in and day out. Developing a friendly, grateful relationship with them is the best proactive strategy. Otherwise you will be seen as The Griper who cannot be pleased and is judging their every action. They will avoid you and your mom. Ply them with treats year round and gifts at the holidays, become more the the NH "family".
I am leaning to bringing it up with the director as opposed to kindly but matter of factly approaching the aide. My mother is paying a significant amount to be at this facility. She is not a difficult person as stories go. Does anyone have an opinion on how to handle this matter or any further opinions.
I wonder if this aide previously worked for LTC. There is more structure in these facilities. Everyone gets up and ready the same time. Things are done in a particular order.
ALs have their routine but can be and should be flexible. So what if Mom gets up late, go help your other residents and come back. If she misses breakfast, just get her something in her room. Mom's had a kitchenette where she could have cereal, snacks ect. How long does it take to microwave something.
I don't see where it would hurt to speak to the RN who oversees the aides. You may find that ur not the only one who has said something. The RN may have noticed. If not, u can bet the other aides have seen it. This can be done in a nice way.
Aides move around. If this is this aide's first job then it might be good that the RN approaches her about her attitude. Aides are taught the correct way to care for a patient/residence. Its an 8/10 week course. Once on the job, they learn as they go. Some are good with people, others not so. Some do better in a hospital setting but not so much one on one like an AL.
If ur Mom doesn't particularly care for this aide, ask if another can care for Mom. Don't demand ask. You want staff on ur side. The AL wants to keep Mom happy.
When it came to take "goodies" in, they were taken to the staff breakroom. That way everyone enjoyed. I never would have thought to take residents anything. They usually have family and special diets. But I see nothing wrong if Mom has a "favorite" giving her a little something privately.
From ur writing, I think you will handle this the best way.
Please come back and tell us how it works out.
If ANYONE is showing annoyance at this, the director and DON need to be informed and the situation corrected. Period.
Let's start with that the aid was following the rules. You went above and got a release through the manager and that is great.
So we are down now to something more vague which is attitude. Kind of we all recognize it but it is difficult to "call someone on it".
We I you I would handle it this way. I would write the woman who came and got your Mom the release. I would start by not mentioning the woman's name and I would say that overall, after three years here, your Mom is so grateful for the loving care of the people who give care, that you understand caring for the elderly is not always an easy task and you are impressed overall with the care that your Mom gets. Tell her that there is "however, one person who, while I cannot pinpoint anything in actual WORDS, seems to have an attitude that isn't always kind". I would then proceed to tell her that you are very open to discussing this further should she wish to, or are willing just to leave this information with her, recognizing that if others are experiencing this attitude she will have other complaints, and can perhaps address the issue with the employee.
This recognizes what you tell us. That your Mom is relatively happy where she is. There are few places that are good enough to afford this care to elders, and my brother's place is one, and I am VERY grateful. But it also says that you see that this employee isn't up to their usual requirements in excellence. May be having a bad day or whatever. You haven't mentioned names.
Mentioning names to tell the truth, while is often MUST be done, scares me. Our elders are so dependent on the good will of those caring for them.
Good luck and glad Mom got to go to the crafts exhibit!
Your mother was given antibiotics and was told she should confine to her room.
With many medications you may feel fine, sound fine and look fine but still may be contagious.
If anyone is to over ride the quarantine it would be the director and that is what happened.
If this is isolated let it go.
If there are more concrete things that could be brought to the attention of the director do so but ...keep in mind that this person will still be caring for your mom. Do you want someone that you have made minor complaints about caring for your mom? Would it be better to talk to this person and see if there is a problem? I don't mean talk to her about problems but talk to her and be nice maybe she is misunderstanding "vibes" on your part and you on hers. Or maybe there is a personality conflict between her and your mom, you don't know what happens when you are not there. I don't know if this all come out right and I hope you understand what I am getting at...
I wouldn't want to "test" her attitude out on your Mom again.
I see it that the aide was following orders, but did not arise to the better standard of asking the resident to be cleared as healthy to be able to lift the isolation order timely.
By all means mention this on a survey if you wish to. Are these anonymous surveys? Just curious, because people who sign their names to something are taken far more seriously than an anonymous survey.
Still, some people want their voices to be heard but don’t wish to be identified.
I would also speak to them in person if you don’t feel like this was an isolated incident. Thank them for allowing your mom to go to her activity that she enjoys. Tell them how she was grateful and enjoyed it. Then in a polite and respectful way mention your concerns. Hopefully your concerns will be appreciated and your mom will no longer have any issues.
I can see if she was showing signs of being sick being told that she couldn’t attend. She was on meds and most likely no longer contagious.
When I taught school the policy was two days without fever before returning to school. It’s interesting though. I remember my children’s pediatrician telling me that she wished the thermometer had only ‘yes or no’ instead of measurements of degrees because a person with a low grade fever can actually be sicker than a high fever.
We had parents that would drug their kids in the morning and send their kid to school. Of course, by the afternoon the drugs would wear off and I would call the parents to pick up their sick child. Wasn’t fair to their child or the other children in the class that picked up their germs.
I realize this is not a wonderful job but for the most part I haven't run into conflict. I wish those who have this job realize that they are the last people to leave impressions on those who are in their care. I am so torn because I feel they should be caring unless they are dealing with someone causing torment and despite all my mothers issues she is fairly laid back.