In a family of six adult children, 2 live at opposite ends of the USA, father is in the Midwest; The four siblings take care of Dad's affairs. One daughter, wants all her "inheritance"now. Dad is still very much alive. One daughter, out of state, wants all her " inheritance" now. Dad is still very much alive, just needing a little bit more attention since his wife passed away. How would you hanle this sensitive subject. PS.. Dad knows what she wants. He says the whole thing makes him sick ..
I think you have your answer in the last line of your post. Your father says that the whole thing "makes him sick." There is no mistaking what he wishes to be done.
Your father should instruct all his children, so he is not singling anyone out, that inheritances, by their very definition, come AFTER someone has passed. Therefore, no one gets their share until this event has occurred.
If you need a practical reason: your father may need these funds as he ages. ALFs and NHs are extremely expensive. And if he needs addtional in-home care, Medicare pays very little.
An inheritance is not a right - it is a GIFT. There always seems to be one little weasel in every family who sees their family members as ATMs. They get in a jam and expect everyone to bail them out. I assume your sis is an adult...let her handle her own life and stop picking your dad's pocket.
I would steer away from making her a "loan" of any kind. After the fact, she will whine her way out of "repaying" it. Ask me how I know this :o(
Your owe it to your father to keep away the sharks and let his last years be happy ones. If everyone is afraid to confront her, have her read my post.
It sounds like Sister thinks there is a set amount she is assured to inherit. Ha! No one can foresee the future and what Father's expenses will be, as others have pointed out. She'll get what she gets when he dies, just like the rest of his benificiaries.
A loan is a bad idea, as others have pointed out. A gift (to be deducted from her inheritence when the time comes) is a possibility only if it is fairly certain that Father will not need to apply for Medicaid within the next five years. Also, since an inheritence is not certain -- there may be no money left for anyone -- giving one child a gift now may be unfair to the other children.
Many, many parents have worked hard to try to provide a financial legacy to their children, only to have those funds required for their own care. It is sad, but it is reality. And it is happening more and more as people live longer and are more likely to develop expensive chronic condtions.
No inheritences in advance, please!
How would I handle the subject? "Sister, Dad is not in favor of doing this, and it upsets him. Please refrain from bringing the subject up. It isn't happening." "Dad, I'm not sure where Sister's head is. I know that she loves you, but I agree she isn't using good judgement on this subject. You've told her no and it is entirely your decision, so we can just drop the subject."
My mother told her point blank, "I'm not dead yet, and what makes you think there will be anything left when I'm gone!" Shut her right up and hasn't asked for money since.
If you give them his money YOU can be held responsible, they are NOT beneficiaries until he dies. Good luck!
Sounds like your sister wants to make sure she "gets hers". What nerve.