Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Would love some dating advice for the caregiver? How do you find folks to understand your situation? Anyone tried a dating site to connect with other caregivers?
Yes - but I gave up on dating a long time ago. Now I don't have that much freedom - I'd just like to be free to go out on a week-end night to see a concert or play with girlfriends! I keep telling myself I enjoyed my freedom in my own apt for many years, but now it's a different phase in my life and I have to try to enjoy whatever free time I do have without mourning too much what I've given up. And of course it will be over someday and I can resume a "normal" life I hope. I don't think anyone really gets through life without some sacrifices of our time and I guess it makes us better people in the long run.
LOL at all of your posts on here. Yeah, we're a bunch of lonely crazies... some more lonely, and some more crazy than others.
I went on my first date about a week ago since onset of full time caregiving life. I was surprised to find I'm pretty darn emotionally vulnerable in a way I wasn't expecting to be. I never thought of myself as "desperate" before but I felt that way, a little bit... it was like "please! like me! pick me! love me! I need rescuing!" Ugh. Didn't like it one bit.
Dating?? What is that? When I divorced about 19 years ago my child and earning enough money to keep us afloat was all that consumed my everyday thinking. I have been caregiving for family since about 2003 and raising my daughter who is ready to graduate college. Honestly I have not had time to even look for someone to date, if I am not running a 100 miles an hour to care for the house, the bills, my mother, the dog, then I am passed out on my bed asleep. I would love some companionship and to go to a movie or out to dinner or a weekend away, but I don't know how you do that. This job is so incredibly demanding that I do not know of one person who would willingly walk into it or walk into a relationship with someone doing it. Now if you are able to hire a caregiver to work in shifts with you which gives you time off, that is wonderful, however I am 24/7.
I left 2 days ago to go on a 9 day vacation and left my unemployed sibling in charge, she has called me screaming at me every single day, and swears she is moving and will never do this again. Nine days is all I wanted!
So although I would LOVE to have a good relationship with a man, it looks pretty impossible to me, in my situation.
God Bless You in your search! I hope you find someone, I really do!!!
I think for women who are caregiving and dating, it is not so much going on the actual date, but getting ready before the date; i.e., shower, wash, dry and set hair, full make-up, pick out clothes. Clean up apartment before he arrives, if he is picking you up at your apt., etc. Even meeting a blind date for coffee at a local mall or something, involves getting somewhat dressed up. When I am doing caregiving, I virtually wear no make-up, mostly baggy clothes, and flats.
I just joined. After one of those particularly bad days with my Mother who has so many medical issues that is hard to remember them all and with no one to talk to about the myriad of pent up feeling and emotions that I deal with every day. I have read every post from each of you. All 34 pages. I must commend you all for doing what you do. All of your posts have given me some peace and a feeling of not being so isolated. I am on a few of those dating sites. I am actually trying to juggle dating and care giving without much success. At my age men are looking for spontaneity and want to travel. Most times when a possible date becomes aware of what being a full time caregiver is about they move on fast. I have had to take a leave of absence from my career so my financial future and my own retirement scare the heck out me. I have started some online classes hoping it will give me the opportunity to provide for myself and still care for my Mom. Yet still it is a lonely existence and it would be nice to just have someone around once in awhile but I do try to make lemonade from the lemons. Thank you all so much for sharing yourselves.
im available on an online dating site or two but among my other percieved dysfunctions, im pretty sure that any guy living at his mothers house is considered a bum. its a stereotype ill just have to live with , back in my new house again , eventually..
to daughteralone...Get a clue dear, if you can't get out at least once a week for R&R you will suffer loneliness and depression and won't be much good for yourself or your Mother. You are not an elder and you must have a life as well! Please find some dear friend to relieve you and stay with your elder for at least 6 to 8 hours twice a month at least! You may have to pay someone, network to find someone you trust with your elder. I have been there done that..never got a break and I got sick and lost the social beat..I am getting better now, and see how crazy "selflessness" is .
mykabond, I'm single and a 24/7 caregiver for my 95 yr old dad with Alz., so like almost all other 24/7 caregivers there's no time to even think about dating, let alone go out on an actual date. But you may be on to something with an online dating site for single caregivers only who are doing this full time.
BoniChak, I agree, if I had the time, I'd rather be sleeping too. whitesage and daughteralone - I so relate to what you're both saying. I get two, 4 hour breaks a week. The paid caregiver gets here at 12:30pm; I've already put in at least 5 hours. Rarely am I ready myself to bolt out the door. I always spend about 10 minutes going over stuff with cg, so already 20 minutes gone. Then I race around like a maniac trying to run all my errands, grocery shop and be home with 15 mins to spare to put said groceries away, touch base with cg and start dinner. I still have another 4-5 hours to go before dad goes to bed........ This Friday, I'm just excited to be meeting 2 girlfriends for lunch!! I've alloted an hour and 1/2 for this. Found something half-way decent to wear (instead of my usual sweats/t-shirt) and am contemplating wearing some make-up - that is, if anything I have left is not totally dried out and I remember how to apply it and if I have the time to apply.
When this journey is over, I do want to date again (hopefully there will be some new product out by then to cover effectively cover the wrinkles, bags and lines).
myka, you're never alone on this board, 'one day at a time' and happy thoughts to you!!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I went on my first date about a week ago since onset of full time caregiving life. I was surprised to find I'm pretty darn emotionally vulnerable in a way I wasn't expecting to be. I never thought of myself as "desperate" before but I felt that way, a little bit... it was like "please! like me! pick me! love me! I need rescuing!" Ugh. Didn't like it one bit.
I left 2 days ago to go on a 9 day vacation and left my unemployed sibling in charge, she has called me screaming at me every single day, and swears she is moving and will never do this again. Nine days is all I wanted!
So although I would LOVE to have a good relationship with a man, it looks pretty impossible to me, in my situation.
God Bless You in your search! I hope you find someone, I really do!!!
Seriously, it is a challenge - when is there time to develop romance if you are caring for a loved one? Almost a miracle, I'd say.
BoniChak, I agree, if I had the time, I'd rather be sleeping too.
whitesage and daughteralone - I so relate to what you're both saying.
I get two, 4 hour breaks a week. The paid caregiver gets here at 12:30pm; I've already put in at least 5 hours. Rarely am I ready myself to bolt out the door. I always spend about 10 minutes going over stuff with cg, so already 20 minutes gone. Then I race around like a maniac trying to run all my errands, grocery shop and be home with 15 mins to spare to put said groceries away, touch base with cg and start dinner. I still have another 4-5 hours to go before dad goes to bed........
This Friday, I'm just excited to be meeting 2 girlfriends for lunch!! I've alloted an hour and 1/2 for this. Found something half-way decent to wear (instead of my usual sweats/t-shirt) and am contemplating wearing some make-up - that is, if anything I have left is not totally dried out and I remember how to apply it and if I have the time to apply.
When this journey is over, I do want to date again (hopefully there will be some new product out by then to cover effectively cover the wrinkles, bags and lines).
myka, you're never alone on this board, 'one day at a time' and happy thoughts to you!!
See All Answers