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Mom has dementia. Anyway, I have taken care of Mom without her helping in any way for the last 3 years. Soon, very soon, Mom will need to go into a Nursing home, as her dementia is now nearing the last stage. In order to set up a trust so that I might be able to take care of Mom's needs for as long as she might live, and also to afford private pay for Nursing home, we need to sell Mom's house. Sister lives out of state is NOT interested in keeping the house, BUT will not even give an answer as to whether or not she will also sign papers to get it sold. One of our brothers is interested in buying house. We have had it appraised and he is willing to allow Mom to remain in the house, rent free, for however long she lives or for however long we are able to keep her at home. The thing is my sister, who is also a POA, likes to jerk people around. It's like a power trip for her ... but Mom is the one being held hostage. Is there anyway to override a POA who is completely missing in action and not fulfilling the responsibility that I would think comes with being a POA?

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I just recently found out that if a POA is not acting "in the benefit of" the principal it is not taken lightly by law. This is serious offence and abuse of power.
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According to the way the Durable POA is written, both of us must sign for my Mom, in order for Mom's house to be sold. My sister does not come to visit Mom, or at least has rarely done so in the last 3 years, and has done nothing in way of taking care of Mom and Mom's affairs. I am so near my breaking point now I don't know what to do. Mom's Doctor tells me to get Mom into the Nursing Home ASAP. I have chosen a Nursing home (it's the best one in our area) and had them send the pre-admission form (PAS) to Mom's doctor. This must be done before anyone can be admitted into a Nursing Home. I have also pre-paid Mom's funeral expense in advance and made it irrevocable. Anyway the Estate Attorney, whom has been advising me about setting up a Trust, has said that I have been doing all of the right and necessary things that need done. As, I mentioned earlier, I have also had the house appraised, so we are all ready to sell it ... BUT cannot do so without my sister's signature. Again, there are 5 of us (Mom's children) and 4 of us are ready to what will best serve Mom for however long she might live. She is 89 years old - her dementia is now extremely worsened and she needs nursing care. This is truly taking a toll on me and I fear that I will become ill from the daily stress, lack of sleep and total lack of communication from the sister who holds POA along with me.
Anyway, not sure whether to seek legal help, or even how to pay for legal help ... or whether to seek a social worker instead. I desperately need help now.
Thank you to all who have responded thus far. I very much appreciate your advice.
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I know how frustrating this can be, having a nonconforming sister as well. There is something called "best interest" .or "in the benefit of" .... a "P.O.A." or "Co-Attorney in Fact" must act in the "best interest" or "in the benefit of" the principal. I think laws are different for each state and I explained to almost all my obstacle of a sister and they saw that I was acting in mom's benefit, but most financial transactions are very careful. I was recently told that this is taken very seriously now,... the abusers of this duty that is. To remove a person is not easy, but, if your Mom can sign a new one you can do that. If you can get your sister to resign, it may be possible if the papers say it is. Read the papers it may say you can act alone if needed or in the case of neglect on her part. The papers really tell you what can and can't be done. If you need help talk to a social worker that may be able to guide you to someone who may be able to or call elder abuse or any resource available. There are people who know what you are dealing with.and willing to help!!! Good Luck
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Guardianship has some drawbacks, in that you have to report everything to the courts quarterly or so depending on your state. That might be a good alternative. However, you could not establish trust if you were guardian.

How about sending your sis two documents by overnight mail, along with a prepaid envelope: One document is the sales contract page with a flag where she is to sign, and the other is a resignation from POA document with the flag for her to sign. With some luck she will sign both.

If she signs the resignation, then you file that with the county, attach it to the other POA, take it to the bank etc just like the first time. That gets her off the accounts.
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I see two possibilities. 1. If you know the lawyer who wrote up the POA, then I would tell him what is going on and get his advice. 2. You can go to court and file for guardianship which will trump the POA.

I assume that at this point your mother is no longer of sound mind enough to sign a new POA making you the POA.

I wish you well in working through this mess.
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