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She has hit 2 of them, but hides it from drs. Do we reported it to her doctor but in front of him she is the perfect, sweet, flirty little old lady... it seems like she can control herself when she wants to.. they think we are lying and they put her in the hospital for evaluation and she was sweet as pie...wow, we are about at the end of our rope with her. She has shook, shaken, (don't know how to phrase it but, ) hit and punched my sisters grandson and she threw a bowl and hit my sisters grand daughter, both of which are under 12 years old. She curses them, calling them bitxxx, bastxx and tells them to get the fxxx out of their own rooms....its just awful, and even worse, when the under 2 year old great grand kids visit its a really worrysome time. any ideas how to handle this? also, can your alzheimer sufferer perform for the doctor like ours? that was a joke, but if you can't laugh, you'll go crazy, i am certain of it...

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Charmed, get grandma out of there and into an appropriate facility. That you and others know the child abuse is occuring also has you in possible trouble. I would never tolerate abuse of my children by anybody, family or no. If you don't report it and take care of removing Grandma, child welfare could remove the children to foster care. If they have talked about it at school, staff there are required by law to report any sort of suspected abuse.

Bye, bye grandma!
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i want to make it clear that we have told the doctors about her behavior and tried to place her, but she denies doing anything wrong and the doctors actually believe her. we have tried to get her into a home but due to finances, no one will take her so its up to us to come up with $5,000. down and close to that per month sooo there seems to be no where to send her. We don't "let" her abuse the children but that doesnt stop her from lashing out and since it seems as though when she is around authorities..doctors..nurses..police...social workers she seems to have an odd handle on her temper. we are waiting for her brother to pick her up for a week while we try to get her in a mental health situation but she did just get back from an
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continued from last..
back from an inpatient evaluation for placement, but once again, they seen no signs of aggression with her nor any negative behavior. how can they be hellions around family and angels around everyone else? Anyway, she is going to be out of the house, now finding permanent placement for her...thank you for your comments and help gladimhere knowing and relaying there is a legal presidence here, helps make things clearer to everyone
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I'm going to assume that the adults in this situation have actually witnessed this abuse? If this is so, it's time for you all to set up a granny cam or whip out your cell phones and record these incidents. If Grandma has a personality disorder, as opposed to dementia, she may well be able to hide her aggression and control it situationally. Does she leave bruises on the kids? Take them to their pediatrician, who is a mandated reported of abuse. Seek his/her advice, before you lose the children.
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I agree with ba8alou, this abuse stops now. Film her doing the abuse, use a nanny cam or your phones. Then if Doctors won't agree to place her, take her to the ER, and refuse to bring her home. Good luck
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Have the professionals assessing your mother observed her interacting with the children? It might be worth arranging a home visit. Even if she does manage to "play to the gallery", it will be much clearer how the dynamics are working. And besides, it's one thing to dismiss a third party report of the children's being hit and shaken, a lot harder to ignore a child's demeanour around an intimidating elder. Have you considered, too, getting a child protection opinion on this? Again, much harder for your mother's doctors to ignore warnings from a social worker.

I don't want to open old wounds, but was your mother abusive to you and your sister? Or is this a side effect since she developed Alzheimer's?
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