I live with my 91-year-old dad. I cook, clean, buy groceries, take him to dr or to get haircuts, etc., and pay all his bills. Plus I pay him $200 a month for "rent". One sister lives out of state and calls him almost daily. The other sister lives five minutes away and helps on occasion taking him to the dr when I'm not available. She comes once or twice a week to visit for a couple of hours. Neither sister helps out financially. I have tried to discuss it with the local sister, but she says things like "you live with him." She and my dad feel like since I am being given a roof over my head and I chose to live with him and would be paying bills even if I didn't live with him, then my sisters are not obligated to help out financially. Are they right?
The only thing the 3 older do (have spouses too and are retired) is let my mom take them to lunch, or they occasionally take her to lunch. But none have seen her since Christmas. I am trying to find work so I can get out of here. It has made me bitter. I feel bad for my mom as I have no idea what they will do when I leave, put her away. But I need my life back. There is nothing monetary, breaks or nothing do I get from them. They think I have it made with free rent and she thinks the same thing. She is also 91. It is sad, but I need to take care of me and that is my plan. I have had counseling regarding this. I know I have done the right thing and they have not. They think differently I am sure. We are not unusual. We have a selfish society and it is very sad for the old. I am glad I do not have children as I will have no one to blame or be angry at, but they will and that they will have to live with because they are an example to their own children. Take care of you. At least the one sister visits. Wish I could say that about my deadbeat siblings!
As for pay, I am sorry, but caregiving is 24/7. Believe me I know and no amount of money is enough for what we do. I used to pay rent too and realized that was insane! If my sibs had to pay someone, it would be ridiculously expensive. They will never do that. They will put her in assisted living and probably do even less. As a friend said, no one should deal with the physical, emotional and spiritual. It is that and more. It is much easier if that person is not family. If you get them to pay, let us know how you did it!
How much care does your father need? Are you able to hold a job? Perhaps the whole idea of paying rent could be re-examined.
The stress of your situation can kill you. Can you call a family meeting and say "in 2 weeks, I am out of here. What do you want to do about dad's care?"
I am guessing that your sisters, do think that you are mooching. I had to tell 3 different grandchildren, that "No, they were not moving in with great grandma." They thought that they saw a way to live scott free.
They held a family meeting WITHOUT you? Excuse me? If they are going to treat you as an outsider, I hope to heck that they are prepared to pay you as an outsider.
Do they have any authority to speak for Mom? Is Sis the POA? If I were in your situation Sis would be using that POA to find other care for Mom. I'd continue to love Mom, from my own residence. I'd give notice, of course, so Sis could find someone to do what she wants done and pay for the privilege. Sheesh!
should do"