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My mother is 89 years old with dementia. My sister lives with her in her home so we didn't have to put her in an ALF, and I take turns giving her respite. We are running into the issue, that after we go to sleep at night about two hours in, she starts talking, yelling chastising us for not "getting the baby off the front porch" and carrying on conversations with different people. She doesn't give us eye contact when we question her about anything. We believe it's like sleep walking -but talking instead. The issue is, she can go on for hours - 4-6 hours all night. She then seems to drop back into sleep for an hour or so, and when she wakes she has no idea she was "awake" all night or talking to anyone. The bad part is - my sister and I cannot sleep through this so we are getting very little sleep. We both work (remotely) so it's affecting our lives more than just taking care of our mothers needs. We have tried (per MD) benedryl and melatonin so far with no affect at all. Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, were you able to find any solution. Thank you.

Sounds like this set up with your mother isn't working any longer for you and your sister, so it may be time to look into placing her before you both get health issues from lack of sleep.
I would also talk to her doctor to get her on some medications that might help her sleep better/longer and help with her delusions. There are several options available.
But remember that caregiving only works when it's working for all involved, and it definitely sounds like it's not working for you and your sister anymore.
Time for plan B.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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It could be a form of sundowning? Maybe? You certainly need to discuss it further with her doctor. There are prescription meds like Seroquel that can help.

As for placing her, you might have to do that. She seems beyond care in an ALF. She'd need a memory care unit. Professionals know how to deal with these things, they do it all the time.
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Reply to Fawnby
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First, I would not give Benadryl to a person with cognitive issues.
I used to give it to my Husband for allergies. I took one once for some horrible itching I had. I woke the next morning and felt brain foggy for hours. I thought if that is what it does to me I can only imagine what it was doing to him with dementia. I tossed the bottle.
It may be that you have reached a point where placing mom in Memory Care, not ALF, is the best option.
There are other medications that the doctor can try. But be aware that any medication or OTC product that will help her sleep may make her more of a fall risk.
Another option, if mom is actually awake an overnight caregiver that can tend to her might help you and your sister sleep through the night.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Anxietynacy Jul 25, 2024
Grandma, someone told me they , call Benadryl "poor man's Valium"

It makes me groggy too. And you just keep needing more to be effective
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Benadryl makes me vomit and I dont like Melatonin . Happy Hemp Buddha ( Colorado ) makes a good CBD Oil taken after dinner and their Gummies are Mild . You could try one gummie after dinner . Try on yourself first they do Make me sleepy . They have hemp / CBD experts you can call and talk to . Also will send samples .
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KNance72, I agree that CBD and more specifically THC can be effective in many ways. Plenty of studies with dementia patients show it can be of help.
There are two "bases"
Sativa has an energizing effect
Indica has a relaxing effect and can help with sleep.
Going to a Dispensary rather than buying on line so you can talk to someone that can answer questions. While they can not give medical advice they can answer questions as to what you want the product to accomplish.
Smoking or vaping is the faster way to get it into your system but gummies are easy to use. (and there is no odor)
I think that so many still have the notion that it is "bad, illegal," and all the other negative thoughts. Think of THC as a drug that has beneficial uses.
The good thing is there are no problems associated with THC like there is with other drugs regarding things like addiction, constipation and as far as I know there is no "overdosing" or "lethal dose" with THC and or CBD.
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Dawn88 Jul 28, 2024
I use Indica type cannabis oil (THC) in a disposable vape pen gadget, no odor and very gentle on my throat and lungs. No matches, ashes, mess or hassle. The size of a pack of gum. Only one or two puffs, maybe three if I'm very stressed.

I never was a cigarette smoker, since it was so harsh. It has been legal in California for medical use for years. There are flavors with cute names, and I prefer the fruity flavors (tangerine, cherry, pineapple.) It doesn't sink up my house, either. The THC infused oil is heated in the electronic pen, just enough to "steam" and not burn. Thus you are inhaling a light vapor, not harsh smoke from burning oil.

Being a borderline insomniac, I sleep like a baby. Works in about 15-20 minutes.
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Is your mother being seen by a neurologist? There maybe meds for this. My Mom suffered from night terrors. I would wake her up, make her open her eyes and then have her go back to sleep. IMO, making them open their eyes dissipates the dream.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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