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I joined this forum because I am struggling with Mama to stop her from doing things like cooking all the food in the house for one meal, unsafe food handling, refusal to follow recipes so the food is horrible and a huge waste. Even when I was a child she was not a good cook or housekeeper. That made me grow up paranoid and a clean freak. Being back home with her now she serves up meals with pieces of dish sponge, plastic wrap etc on plates crusted with some other meal.


I saw a lot of posts talking about taking away the stove knobs or turning off the gas to the stove. Mama is too smart and stubborn for those solutions to work. Also, I fear violence from her if I did that. She's also not afraid to hire handymen or others to "fix" the stove.


Mama has figured out how to order anything and everything she wants from Walmart online and the result is she orders tons of food over and over and 75% of it goes stale or rots because she forgot she bought it. The cabinets & fridge are stuffed with enough food to feed a family of six.


I do not officially live with my mom but I've been with her in her house for over a month now. It is clear to me that she can no longer live alone and has all the signs of dementia. Long term she has agreed to come live at my house in another state. Short term though, we are stuck here and while I work from out of the house I can't be on top of her all the time to keep her from being unsafe in the kitchen. She's stubborn and has a fit if I "monitor" or try to "control" her life.

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I suggest trying all the things you say won't work. You might be surprised. And if you're right, and they don't work, then you can try other things.

As for the dishes, just wash them after every meal.
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I suggest before u make a longterm decision to get Mom evaluated. She sounds like she is pretty much into the Dementia journey. As such, things will get worse. What she does in her home she will do in yours. She maybe better in an AL or LTC facility where she doesn't have access to a phone or computer.
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Walmart online can be addicting.
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