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How are they managing their medications?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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She will remember how you make her feel-give her love , a card to set out, a piece of chocolate or a scoop of ice cream, your time, a big fat hug!!! She is very much alive with emotional needs.
Mother’s Day is different in more than one country relevant to me, so I find it hard to take seriously. Mothering Sunday in the UK, Mother’s Day in Oz and then in the USA. I view it as retailers’ day number 3, after Christmas Day, Easter, then on the retail list just before Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day, and the rest of them. It used to be retailers’ big white goods sale day, when mothers got all the new things like microwaves and automatic washing machines. Now everyone has as much as the bench will hold, it’s a problem about what to give - overpriced flowers or chocolates?
My own mother helped in this attitude, as the classic Mother's Day flowers here are white chrysanthemums, and mother disliked them as 'funeral flowers'. No thanks from her for those!
My feeling would be to forget about it (mother with dementia will anyway), and give mother what you think she would enjoy, any time you think of something. A card so that the aides know she is appreciated. Another option is to collect really nice artificial flowers, and re-arrange them for every time that’s appropriate!
Just go there to her Memory Care and have a nice visit. Bring her a gift or two and make it as enjoyable as you would make any other Mother's Day visit you'd have with her wherever she was living. Tell her you love her, give her a hug, present her with the gifts, and smile. She's still alive, just suffering from dementia.........so make it a memorable day for both of you!
My mom passed before Covid set in so, I did get to see her at least once a week and had special occasion dinners with her including Mothers Day. I took her a double dip of her favorite ice cream, a small bottle of the buttermilk she loved and some soft, chocolate she said she didn't need but really loved. One brother brought her a new blouse and the other one a bag of her favorite hard candies and a bouquet of flowers. Just simple things that she enjoyed and loved but were not available at her MC unit. She enjoyed them more than expensive gifts.
Honestly, I don’t even know if I am going to visit on Mother’s Day.
Visits to my Mom make her angry. I am the local sibling. Seeing me makes her remember that she is not seeing the sibling that she WANTS to see. (The one who doesn’t contact her, of course.) That sibling is out of state.
Visits make my mother word-vomit all of her complaints and negativity. She never was a positive person to begin with. Dementia has caused her to lose her filter even more.
I am committed to visiting once a week, at least, because I want to check on her, physically, and to let the caregivers (who are actually WONDERFUL) know that someone is keeping an eye over Mom.
But, visits leave me sad and disheartened. When I see her face fall, when she figures out who is ACTUALLY visiting, it punches me in the heart.
I want to enjoy Mother’s Day with my daughters and grandson. I don’t want to spend the day recovering from another punishing visit to my mother. I’ll visit another day.
Definitely visit her with some special gifts - pictures, a special treat. But before buying/sending flowers check with her facility. During COVID my mother's campus wasn't allowing flowers to be brought in - not sure of the reason. I agree - reminisce on happy times. Encourage her to tell stories of her past; later you may want to write them down so you have those memories preserved.
Certain holidays, mother's day, father's day, Christmas are especially tough, moreso for the caregiver than the patient. I think flowers would be nice and something she could enjoy, and let her smell them to engage her senses. And how about spending some time reminiscing? Bring some photos. Recall fun times. Ask her what she remembers about her life. Happy Mother's Day.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Mother’s Day has been a painful day for me since losing my mom. I essentially lost her twice, the first time when a huge stroke took away every ability, putting her in a NH, and the second when she passed away. Make the best of a sad time by visiting your mom and taking her something she’d enjoy, flowers, lotion, a nice picture, candy, whatever. And when you leave go do something nice for yourself. Many of us learn to rely on the memories of the mom we had before. I wish you peace
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My own mother helped in this attitude, as the classic Mother's Day flowers here are white chrysanthemums, and mother disliked them as 'funeral flowers'. No thanks from her for those!
My feeling would be to forget about it (mother with dementia will anyway), and give mother what you think she would enjoy, any time you think of something. A card so that the aides know she is appreciated. Another option is to collect really nice artificial flowers, and re-arrange them for every time that’s appropriate!
Good luck!
Visits to my Mom make her angry. I am the local sibling. Seeing me makes her remember that she is not seeing the sibling that she WANTS to see. (The one who doesn’t contact her, of course.) That sibling is out of state.
Visits make my mother word-vomit all of her complaints and negativity. She never was a positive person to begin with. Dementia has caused her to lose her filter even more.
I am committed to visiting once a week, at least, because I want to check on her, physically, and to let the caregivers (who are actually WONDERFUL) know that someone is keeping an eye over Mom.
But, visits leave me sad and disheartened. When I see her face fall, when she figures out who is ACTUALLY visiting, it punches me in the heart.
I want to enjoy Mother’s Day with my daughters and grandson. I don’t want to spend the day recovering from another punishing visit to my mother. I’ll visit another day.