My LO who has AD has been at AL for about two months. At first she constantly talked of wanting to go home, but that has stopped. She then asked about going to her home to visit there and see her cat. That is not possible as her cat is gone and her house is being repaired. She cannot go there. I told her I would investigate if that would be possible and she has accepted that.
Now she has asked if I can take her to my parents house to visit with us for the day. She's my mom's first cousin, my second cousin. She is 63 years old and is also disabled due to arthritis.
She has significant dementia and forgets what was said or done only 5 minutes ago, so she repeats the same thing over and over. She also cannot follow a conversation.
I'm afraid if she gets at our house she may refuse to get back in the car to return. Should I take the chance?
I'm glad that you have a good understanding about this, Sunnygirl. These ideas of going home or visiting someone will eventually fade and your loved one will move on.
If you take people in that stage of dementia "home" - well, home isn't what they remember and it just opens a can of worms. Generally, it's best to work through it, re-direct, use all of the diversionary tactics possible and things will move forward. Then, um, repeat as necessary.
Take care,
Carol
My mom has severe dementia. I put her in AL last year. My wife insisted we take her home on weekends and holidays as much as we could. She never considered the AL "Home" after that and she was full of anxiety between visits waiting for us to take her to our house. She drove the AL staff bonkers and like your case, she does not know what day it is or remember anything said for 5 minutes. The AL kicked her out and she lives with me now. Next step is NH
Certain relatives and family friends come to visit and 10 minutes later she doesn't even remember the visit. But the important thing is that the resident have as much interaction as possible. We encourage EVERYBODY to come visit, so what if she forgets they came, or their name, it's what's in the moment that's important.
Just to make clear what some posters had asked me about. My cousin will soon be 63, but her dementia is severe. It is believed she has AD. The progression has been coming on for years, but I didn't realize it. Now it makes sense. Her father had the same thing, but his progressed later in life.
My cousin has been on disability for arthritis for about 5 years. She walks with a cane. She also has a bone disorder. She has broken numerous bones over the years. They snap very easily. She has broken her shoulder, both ankles, foot, and wrist, this past April. This is another reason I hesitate to take her from the ALF. She also has diabetes and hypertension.
My parents are in their 70's. They don't have dementia, but have various health issues. That's why I moved in with them a couple of years ago to help them out. That has worked out well.
My parents and I are planning on a Birthday visit with gifts, cards and her favorite treats in a couple of weeks. I'll take pictures and post them in her room, so she can see the visit anytime.
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