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There are people without empathy and any understanding or gratitude - she feels entitled to what you give her and is taking advantage of you. And you are being forced to be a caretaker and it is affecting you very badly - not everyone can be or is willing to be a caretaker. She is selfish and most likely like this her whole life. She either never learned or simply doesn't care. First of all, you must find a way at once to either get her a caretaker or place her. Funds are available but it takes some research. And if it is affecting you, STOP AT ONCE AND FIND ANOTHER SOLUTION. I don't think someone like this deserves your care and how it is impacting you. Please do not wait.
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My mother grew up in the 'old country' and came to this one right after WW2. She always said to me that it was a child's 'responsibility and obligation' to take care of one's parents when they get old. Thus, everything I did for her up to her passing this year at age 95 was an expectation and entitlement. That was why all I ever got was complaining and criticism instead of gratitude and thank you. I realized I could never change her - who she was and how she was. And yes, I continued to meet my 'responsibility and obligation' because I was the only family she had. After many years, I was wore out and tired - mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I tried to get some help - but she wouldn't let the home health aides in or 'fired' them after a visit or two. I could have stepped away, but felt so guilty because she had no one else - no other kids or family members. And no, she wouldn't go to AL - and because she was mentally o.k., I couldn't force her. Things changed when she passed away this year. Hate to say it, but it was like a sense of relief and freedom. Now, at almost 67 yo, I can finally start living my life the way I want to and can!
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My mother was also a “narcissist.”
That’s my answer.
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Hire caregivers to come and help with your mom for a few hours. Sounds like you are burned out. Believe me, it’s so worth the money!

I wish my mom could say “Thanks” but in her condition, it probably will never happen. Yet, I still continue to care for her.

I imagine as a kid, I probably never thanked her for caring for me either. She did an amazing job caring for 10 kids. Yet out of the 7 living children, only one stepped forward to care for her in her last season of life. What a way for her children to say “thanks”.
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I don’t understand it either. The more I did, the more she expected. One day, several years ago, my cousin got a filling while I had dental surgery. My mother pestered me morning, noon and night, wanting to phone but hesitating in case she disturbed her while she was napping. I asked for the same courtesy but was denied. Always felt I was less than a person to her.
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Expressing gratitude directly or frequently means admitting aloud to you that she needs you. That she is not as independent as she used to be and is losing some control over her life.
Being a caregiver does not have to be a 100% DIY project. Even if no other family around, contact your local Area Agency on Aging. She may be eligible for some help at home based on income and level of care...and they can give you a list of private pay non-medical home care agencies.
Even if she doesn't like having someone come in, refusing is not an option.
Saving her money (relying on free care from you) is also not an option. Her money is for her needs, now. Inheritance is what is left over after she dies.
She won't always be happy...and may not start appreciating you.
Your first responsibility is to yourself, and your second is to be sure her basic needs are met. Hiring helpers to meet those needs for her at times is the best way to meet your responsibility for yourself.
It is a hard part of the road, this getting old business. Take good care.
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