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My wife, 68, has moderately severe dementia. I care for her at our home. I can handle most of her behaviors like wandering, aggression, and resistance. It’s the crying/sobbing that breaks my heart. It’s just so hard to take and she, of course, can’t communicate with me why even if she knew because her aphasia is so bad. It doesn’t happen every day, but when it does, it tears me up. She has a doctor’s appointment coming up and I’ll ask about it but I was just wondering if anyone else has any suggestions.

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Has anyone suggested a PECS book for her?

Used with non-verbal kids on the Aurism Spectrum, a picture book with photos or drawings of various objects and activities can be adapted for patients with aphasia.

A speech therapist made one for my mom as she was recovering from a stroke.

Pictures of various foods, clothing, activities, bed, chair, and pictures of various emotional states can be useful.

You can cut stuff out of magazines and slip them into laminated sleeves that can be placed in a binder. Or use a photo alnum.
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Is your wife currently on any medications to treat depression?

Is your wife in any pain?

Do you have a list of questions like this to ask her doctor?
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This just might be a "noise" to her.
My Husband made moaning sounds, he was pretty much non verbal. Sometimes quiet sometimes loud it depended upon how excited he seemed to be. If there was a ball game on he would start getting louder. I did not know if it had anything to do with the game itself or the background noise. (I am not a fan of ball games so I never paid attention) Many times the moaning was a very quiet noise, he would be chewing on his blanket or a teething toy I got for him and the moaning was like a noise a child would make to soothe themselves.
Crying for your wife might be just a noise she "knows" how to make.
Look for facial cues for signs of pain or discomfort.
When she is crying and you talk to her does the volume change? Does the "intonation" of the crying change? Does the intensity change? If you touch her does the crying change in any way? I would think if anything you do changes the crying in any way that she is communicating with you.
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I think that JoAnn is correct. Think of the mind of a little child. They are able to cry just about any time. In many cases no one has the slightest idea why they are crying, and after the diaper change, the bottle, the binky, the bouncing the poor parent puts his arms up in surrender and just says "He must be TIRED". The tiny child, with his immature brain might have no reason whatsoever. Yet their weeping can sound so broken, or so frantic, that we feel utterly helpless. Our every empathetic nerve is triggered.

I think you are stuck with knowing there may be utterly no reason. For men with their "fix it" minds that is such a helpless feeling.

I am so sorry for this. I wish I had a better answer.
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IMO its part of the Dementia. They have no idea why they are crying. Things are strange abd unfamiliar. Thing of her like a small child. They cry and don't have a reason. It could be you walked out of the room and she felt lost..
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