He urinates in the bed with me in it. I must wash pajamas, shorts everyday and the bathroom must be mopped daily. He urinates in the bed with me in it, but right now I have no other place to make his own room, so I am stuck with this ungodly smell and washing every day. He forgets and leaves the depends in every room he goes to. It is just hard to deal with. His dementia is worst and he does not remember too much but about money and something to eat!!!!!!!!!!! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Second you need Waterproof mattress pads
If you are doubling up on the incontinence brief you may be defeating the purpose. They are lined to be "leak proof" or at least not soak through. If you are not removing the water resistant lining and just using another brief the fluid is not getting from the first one to the second one.
You are going to have to monitor him more in the bathroom. Take him to the bathroom every 2 hours, if he goes great if not make sure you check the brief to be sure it is still dry.
If you do not have help it might be time to get a caregiver in to give you a break and help you out with some of the daily chores. And when you do get a caregiver in you should leave so you get the break you need.
There will come a time when you may want to consider placing him in Memory Care. Everyone's goal is to keep their loved one at home but if it is a matter of safety placement in necessary. And when I mean safety it is not just his safety it is yours. If you can not mentally, physically and emotionally keep up it might be time. It is not giving up it is getting your loved one the best care you can.
Agree with grandma to get two beds so at least your bed will be clean and dry.
Cut his liquids after a certain time, like 6 PM to maybe hopefully cut down on the volume of pee at night. Can you get him up in the middle of the night to pee?
Is he undressing and taking his depends off wherever he happens to be? Difficult. You or an aide need to bring him to the bathroom regularly for him to pee so there isn't so much trouble with his depends.
This must be VERY hard to deal with. Get some help dealing with this. One person can only do so much. You need to take care of yourself and your sanity as well.
And yes, there is no doubt that dementia is the WORST.
My husband has vascular dementia, and incontinence is one of many of the symptoms of it.
And if you're not ready to go that drastic, a hospital bed for him might be a good solution as their mattresses are already waterproof. Good Luck.