Who do you choose when you have seen how immediate family has acted in the throes of ALZ dementia parent. I am getting ready to do my own documents. I have stalled because of, well a lot of things. But I have seen family members whom I would not trust to feed my dog.
My choice is most likely my attorney
Is anyone else dealing with this now? Do you think you might be?
I am completely convinced that someone not emotionally involved can do a better job following instructions that we decided on while healthy and of sound mind.
I am the POA for my parents and I would never ask anyone I love to go through what I have.
We have very detailed living wills, very detailed D/MPOAs no one needs to wonder what to do.
I also think that we don't know what we will be like if we develop dementia or have a TBI, we made be mean or paranoid or who knows, but not obligating loved ones is our choice.
I had a special instrument drafted as her agent to carry out legal obligations. Except for the sale and transfer of real property I could act independently. I did not without consulting her ever. But quite frankly, well, I am I did that. I am glad I found this forum. I can't put her in charge of my chit, nor her daughter, prob not her son.
This has kept me awake and stopped me from doing these damn documents which I need to do!
POA is an important responsibility. The person you assign it to needs to understand its a tool. Not an opportunity to think they r entitled to your assets. If there is no one you can trust, then it would need to be ur lawyer or a very good friend. Either way, ask first. Seems like people find out they have been assigned and would have never agreed to it.
It should always be a person living near you. The person who may be ur caregiver. I don't like where one person holds the purse strings and another is doing the caregiving.
This is a hard decision but you need someone to be POD. Makes things so much easier.