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I had posted about our brother taking our mothers money. Well, my sister and I visited her last week and here is what we found out. We went to the bank where they have a joint checking account. She had only $32.00 in the bank. We asked to see all of the statements and every single month, he had been writing himself a check from $600-$1000 monthly. Mom was floored. We left with all of the statements and studied them in the hotel room that night. He also had a safe deposit account set up for her in another city. We stopped by there, and guess what? The money was gone. We figured at this point he had stolen over $50,000 from her in less than two years. We went back to her bank and had a draft amount of $400.00 sent to my account every month so he couldn't touch it. When we got back to Mom's, she called him and asked where the money went. I took the phone from there and asked him. He started stuttering and said $150 for groceries, $150 for meds and then said it was none of my business. He then hung up on me. Well, we went to the drug store to get a listing of her meds every month. Her bill is only $13.07 MONTHLY. Then, I started thinking that he would probably put a stop payment on the draft. So I called my Mom yesterday and told her that I was going to put all of her SS money in my personal account. We called SS on a three way call and as of Aug. 3rd, all money will be in my account. He has the POA and if he wants the money to pay her bills, he has to provide a list and produce receipts of everything he needs ONLY for Mom. Then, I will reimburse him, maybe. Because he has POA, he still has to take care of her. I would love to be a fly on the wall when his checks start bouncing and he has to use his own money to cover them. Mom doesn't have any checks and all of the signatures are his. Hope he is enjoying his new Mercedes SUV. By the way, ADT is coming to my house to install outside cameras tomorrow as a precaution because when I was talking to him on the phone, he sounded like a rabid dog who could have come through the phone and bitten my head off. Sometimes, you just have to think out of the box and fight fire with fire. And just so you know, I will pay all of her bills if he doesn't. She can have steak and lobster every night if she wants it! Thanks again everyone for your words of wisdom in this matter. Bye bye Mercedes!

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I’m happy you were able to straighten most of this mess out but sorry that you had to discover your brother is a crook in the process. I would have taken it further and had Mom revoke his POA. Consult with an attorney to see how to transfer the POA to you and/or your sister. You might also want to ask the attorney if you have grounds to prosecute your brother. But, after your confrontation, he may very well disappear. And, if he threatens any of you in any way, notify the police immediately.
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Ahmijoy: "I would have taken it further and had Mom revoke his POA. Consult with an attorney to see how to transfer the POA to you and/or your sister."

Yes!!! Why does he still have POA????? i would also consider criminal prosecution (on the advice of an attorney).
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One more thing - I have contacted the DOJ in our state. Apparently, it wrong for him to take the money without Mom's permission and he DOES have to provide written receipts for everything he has taken!
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Wow! Some people are lower than a snake's navel! Stealing from your own elderly ill mother! I'm glad she has someone to look after her and keep her protected (you). I hope there's some way you can get that money back from him.
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bhartley - I am a distance caregiver -5 hrs drive away from my mother and am still able to perform all the POA duties medical and financial. IMO while your mum is still capable she should change her POA and executor to you and your sister. Your bro has proven he is not acting in your mother's best interests. She is alert now but that can change quickly at her age. This is not about convenience but about what is best for your mother and what arrangement will meet her needs now and in the future. He is accountable to your mother for his spending of her money and she can demand that information from him.

You could contact your local agency for aging and APS regarding the best protection for your mother. As well as revoking the POA, your mother should take him off the joint account immediately so he has no right to her money.

Many here have found that when money is involved people change, or show their true colors and families are fractured. I am so sorry about this happening in your family, Your bro obviously does not have your mum's interests in mind.
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Since your mom is mentally competent, would she be willing to press charges against your brother?

I would also get a second legal opinion, preferably from an elder law attorney, and contact APS to see if you have a case for elder exploitation and abuse of fiduciary responsibilities. AND, get the POA transferred, as well as mom's funds transferred to a new account in her name ASAP since your mom is able and can do this.

My sister stole $30K from my mother's savings in less than 6 months while a guardianship proceeding was going on. I was appointed my mom's guardian earlier this year, but we go back to court on the 31st on a motion mom's attorney filed to hold my sister accountable for and make her repay the funds.

I'm very sorry you are going through this. It is sad when siblings feel that they are entitled to steal just because a parent is elderly and/or disabled.
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Ahmijoy: "I would have taken it further and had Mom revoke his POA. Consult with an attorney to see how to transfer the POA to you and/or your sister."

Yes!!! Why does he still have POA????? i would also consider criminal prosecution (on the advice of an attorney).
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Well, they live in the same city, withing about 2 miles of each other. I'm about 120 miles away and my sister lives in NV. We figured that if he has POA, he still has to provide for her. He is retired and I am still working. At least we know that Food Lion will deliver her groceries if needed and her drug store provides free delivery. She has friends that still drive, so she can get out with them occasionally. If she wants to go somewhere to shop or to the doctor and no one is available, there is always UBER or LYFT which I will gladly pay for. I talked to a lawyer and there is no basis for criminal prosecution since both names are on the account. If for some chance, he doesn't take care of her, there WILL BE H*LL TO PAY! Funny thing is, he is supposed to be such a good Christian. His license plate even says 4GIVEN! What a hypocrite!
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I don’t know, b. I’m not sure I would trust Brother now that his jig is up, so to speak. I get the feeling Mom’s care was not first on his list and for sure it’s not going to be now. Being POA is not the same as being a Caregiver. He is not obligated to “provide for her”, just oversee her financial issues. The way the situation is now, I wouldn’t trust him. 

 You described him as a “rabid dog” over the phone. Sounds like he’s on the edge and now that he’s been found out, I’d be afraid for Mom’s personal safety. You must be also if you had a sophisticated security system installed. It may be “convenient” for you to have Brother around for Mom, but I wouldn’t trust him. As POA, he MUST produce receipts of what he’s spent on Mom. I was on a joint account with my mom and also her POA and I had to produce receipts since she was the primary on the account.

Were it me, I would forgo convenience and hire a caregiver for Mom. Relying on the occasional kindness of friends or Uber is fine, but I think she needs someone with her for more than transportation. The caregiver can shop for Mom, take her to doctor’s appointments, do personal care, etc. I’d get shady Brother out of the picture completely and dismissed as POA.
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bhartley127, regarding putting your Mom's social security into your checking account, it would be much better if Mom and you had a new joint account where Mom's checks are placed.

Co-mingling money can become sticky later on if there is a chance that your Mom may need to apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Medicaid does a 5 year look back on financials, and if the money is co-mingled, then Medicaid will ask for proof as to which entries belong to Mom and which entries belong to you.

My Dad had a checking account set up that way where his income came into that joint account, and I was able to write checks for any of his bills. I also kept copies of the bills/checks in a 3-ring binder so an auditor could follow the paper trail.
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