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So, each passing day confirms that I am making the right decision moving dad to full Assisted Living.

The Nursing Manager visited him personally earlier in the week and did an amazing job of convincing him that this was simply a move to a better apartment.

Ironically, he kept repeating the "How much does this cost" question (every five minutes). We just told him that from a value standpoint, AL was better. It's not like he can keep numbers straight anyway.

He also kept griping about the size of the room. His IL apartment has a separate living room and bedroom with a kitchen (we turned off the stove and unplugged the microwave). He has NEVER slept in the bedroom or used his bed. With his COPD, it's more comfortable for him to sleep on the sofa or in his recliner, but he kept complaining about the absence of a room he doesn't even use.

He was somewhat placed at ease when he heard that AL offers a full, hot breakfast every morning (the country boy can have bacon and eggs daily)

BUT... he's forgotten the whole tour and I'm afraid the move is going to be traumatic. Any tips?

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Sounds like he is settling in nicely. If he liked sleeping in a recliner, he may do well in an adjustable bed. You can find new ones online for about $800.
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So he gripes and whines. Say ' this is what you need right now, dad".
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How long will it take to move him over? We had to wait about 6 months to get into IL with my folks....I put together a quick 3-ring binder that included photos, menus & activity schedule, and floor plan of the apartment/facility. I told Mom it was so she could plan her furniture layout, etc....but it was really to give her something concrete to see 40 times a day.
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One thing that I did was to tell my loved one that the people there had good things to say about her, even if it wasn't true. I'd remind her that another resident or staff member commented on how nice and kind she was and how they really were glad that she was there. I think it made her feel welcome and more comfortable in her surroundings. Of course, the loved one will likely forget what you have said, so you may have to say it each time you visit.

As dementia progresses, some patients get more accustomed and comfortable in their environment and it's just home to them. (They forget they had another home once.) In other patients, they seem troubled and are not happy, regardless of where they live. I would be hesitant to expect a dementia patient to be happy and content, though, I know that medication often helps with that.

As he settles in with Assisted Living, I would let the staff handle his needs. They should know how to do this quite well. It should provide you with the opportunity to get out from some of the demands and constant care.
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Really happy to read this that he is getting ready to go to Nursing home.
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Classic resistance. And your points are all logical and valid. Keep moving forward. Emphasize the breakfast(!), and employ some of Sunnygirl's subterfuge. Keep it positive -- and firm. You're almost there. :-)
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