Trying to get her to eat, but meeting a brick wall. Any tips or tricks?

Why do you keep asking if you know she's going to say no? I wouldn't say anything at all, just put together a healthy snack and plunk it down beside her, if you can take the time to sit down too for your "coffee break" all the better. You can also keep little nibblies on the counter or near her favourite chair so she can graze at will, keeping a drink of some kind by her elbow can help increase her fluid intake as well.

Hi Lizbitty,

My mother is difficult with food also.
However, I found out that 'snacks' work. If I put too much food (a regular plate of food) in front of my mother; she is not hungry and won't eat it. While my mother's 'refusing' to eat is an attention thing: I do have some tips that I found work (whatever the cause).

* put small plates with one or two pieces of cheese & one or two crackers in front of her, in those hangry afternoon hours
* if/when she eats this just replace the plate with another plate of 1 or 2 small pieces of something without saying anything.
* if she says she won't/can't eat it - maybe reply "oh, O.K well it is there in case you wanted a snack" or something along that line and then do it again in 30 minutes or so
* don't make a big deal about it with her
The really great thing is that she actually does eat what you put in front of her.

Just an idea.
Welcome to the site.
-Bevel

I've learned to not ask. I just prepare something and put it in front of her. She always eats it, even after telling me she's not hungry.

I agree with CT in Arvada. I just give her something. I also give her a small can of coke over ice. She really enjoys. I know its got caffeine, but hey...she drinks it and looks forward to it..she's 93!
When I ask Mom if she wants a small snack for lunch, she usually says no, but when presented to her, it's eaten.

I ask my mom what she would like for dinner. i give her a few choices and then feed her. She sometimes tells me it is not sweet enough. The chef told me his seniors eat better with a little sweetness. He does add a little maple syrup to butternut squash, I add a little stevia to her pancakes, sweetened protein powder to her Cream of Wheat in the morning. She eats all the above without any fussing.
My mom will let me know she is still hungry right after she consumes a big meal and I tell her to wait at least 20 minutes and see if she is still hungry. She is usually full after twenty minutes.I will not give my mom any more food after a big meal. Did it and she complained of nausea and sometimes spits up. I remind her she will get sick so she is quite cooperative now.

Yes. I have watched my 91 to father do the same thing. I stopped asking. I stopped trying to please. He gets peanut butter and jelly every day or chicken leg, maybe a tiny piece of something... He says he's not hungry... And if he's hungry he eats. If not, oh well. No more battles. If he wants to starve so be it. ( He won't and is still 20 pounds over weight).
I actually think as we age we do need to cut down on food intake. And the body knows when it's hungry...just not the broken brain.
Have snacks and juices or ensure nearby and available. My dad actually eats very little food because his dentures don't fit right. But he can scarf down a half sandwhich! Or cookies or ensure chocolate milk.
Best wishes, just stop the battles and enjoy some peace!
Hugs

Hi Lizbitty. The good news is that she will eat whatever you put in front of her. If she gets cranky when you ask her if she's hungry, try keeping notes on how frequently she gets hungry (i.e. every 2 hours, 4 hours etc.) Once you understand her pattern, you can put food in front of her when she's most likely to eat it. I've learned from caring for my mom that it's easier to prevent her from getting hangry than it is to get her settled after a hangry episode.

Also, be aware of the foods she really likes and try rotating how often you serve them so she doesn't get bored. Giving her what she likes to eat when she's most likely to eat it will make caring for her manageable.

As for the scowling, it may be something she feels like doing. Our loved ones are who and how they are. Sometimes we just have to say "I don't get it." and keep it moving. I can only imagine how annoying her behavior is, especially when you're extending care to her. Be patient with yourself so that you can be patient with yourself.

Wishing the best for both of you.

First: make sure she's not having problems with her teeth or gums.
Ground rule: Don't ask! - and don't urge her to eat.

Always sit down and share the meal with her - Engage in normal chit-chat and throw in a comment or two about the delicious food and thank her for her great suggestions for that specific meal. Give her small a portion on a RED plate (Red stimulates her appetite) - People are easily overwhelmed by too much on the plate and may also be confused if that food requires different utensils. I try to plan meals that are attractive and can be consumed using a single utensil - or it can be finger food. I use red dessert plates and replenish along the way.

PS Many of our elders have failing eye-sight which can make it difficult for them to see what's on their plates.

My mother always says she is not hungry. If I make her something I know she likes and put it in front of her, she eats. Also I make sure her favorite snacks are available on a plate near her chair to avoid her going too long without food. I think sometimes people get in a pattern of answering your questions and resort to that answer no matter what. Sneaky tip: I put lots of butter in things to give her more protein and calories. Good luck!

My mom is 80, and she likes hotdogs on a bun with no condiments, grilled cheese sandwiches and lots of sweet stuff. It took me a long time to accept her way of eating. My husband still struggles with it. She is 80 years old, her taste buds are not what they once were. If you can find a few things that she will eat, then provide that food. No matter if it is just a hotdog. Eating a hotdogs is better than nothing.