Follow
Share

Hello everyone


In the mornings when i wake up is the worst for me. I keep thinking of my mother who is 85 in rehab due to covid after effect I feel that i should or we as her sibling should be there everyday and maybe should of took her home etc..... WHICH part of me knows this is the best care for her right now. I ALSO keep thinking the worse that because of her history of illness and her age that this might not be the best outcome evetually. I am trying to be calm and strong sometimes i feel like i cant even cry> I think maybe i am blocking this out of my mind for a little while to not face that my mom is geting older and not better. When we go visit her she is not herself she is angry negative she hates everyone there she doesnt want to eat nothing goes down she complains constantly ( which she was always negative ) MY mother was a homebound she never wanted to go out and interact with people she liked to be by herslef so NOW that she is near people in rehab she hates it!!! It kills me to see my mother likes it i want my mother back i just wish she never got covid and maybe i feel a quilt that i told her she had it because maybe with the way she is her mind of obsessing and worrying about whats going on in the world about covid i made matters worse. She knows all about covid she would watch the news all the time etc... Maybe by not telling her it would of been better for her mind a little. I am the youngest of 5 children and i am very close to my mom ( I am the baby) i took care of my mom alot because my siblings left the house got married moved on with there life so i was the one that stayed longer and took care of her. I am nervous to go visit her because i hate seeing her like this and i know i have to be STRONG my sibilings keep telling me to be strong when i see her because they say i baby her (WHICH I DO ) anything she wanted i got anything she said i agreed. NOW I guess its tough love. I lost my brohter 2 years ago at 53 years old and my mother LOST A SON and of course ever since that she has never been the same also. BUT with what is going on with my mother is different i adored my brother he was my best friend wonderful man and i dealt with that the best i can there are moments i still cant deal but i manage. NOW my mother i have to deal with . I am preparing myself just in case because that is the only way i can deal with it for now. Does anyone else do that? Deal with things by thinking the worse that our loved ones might not get better?? I DONT know i just am so scared but i am trying to be very strong . THIS really is hard she is my mother what can i say:(((((

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Happy16-

It is totally ok to have all those feelings. My mother is not recovering from her fall in Nov, appearing to either have had dementia/alzh in low grade before and now more in moderate/mid range. I am the one closest to her and have been dealing with my own feelings of guilt, rage, sadness and greif. As POA I had to make the decision to move her from rehab to nursing home- we stayed in same facility which would give us a little hope if she improved- to get back into rehab and start trying to get mobile. Unless I really do a lot of talking to convince her that getting into the wheelchair would be a great idea, she is quite content to just stay in bed. I feel like I am losing hope as I watch her seemingly do the same.
I have to remind myself- I am here on this journey WITH HER, I can only provide the best opportunity for her to come around but I cannot do it FOR HER.
I wish that I felt like the facility was more than just a safe and clean space- like that I could get comfirmation every day of teeth brushing, restorative nurse coming around, that they are asking her to come get out of bed for activities- COVID puts issues on most of the activities- including lunch in the hall.
So please as I write this to remind myself I need to be kinder & gentler to myself about how I am handling things, I encourage the same for you. You are doing the best you can under the circumstances and there is no handbook given out as to how to do it. One day at a time, if too much, one hour at a time. Lots of good energy sent your way!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Happy16-

It is totally ok to have all those feelings. My mother is not recovering from her fall in Nov, appearing to either have had dementia/alzh in low grade before and now more in moderate/mid range. I am the one closest to her and have been dealing with my own feelings of guilt, rage, sadness and greif. As POA I had to make the decision to move her from rehab to nursing home- we stayed in same facility which would give us a little hope if she improved- to get back into rehab and start trying to get mobile. Unless I really do a lot of talking to convince her that getting into the wheelchair would be a great idea, she is quite content to just stay in bed. I feel like I am losing hope as I watch her seemingly do the same.
I have to remind myself- I am here on this journey WITH HER, I can only provide the best opportunity for her to come around but I cannot do it FOR HER.
I wish that I felt like the facility was more than just a safe and clean space- like that I could get comfirmation every day of teeth brushing, restorative nurse coming around, that they are asking her to come get out of bed for activities- COVID puts issues on most of the activities- including lunch in the hall.
So please as I write this to remind myself I need to be kinder & gentler to myself about how I am handling things, I encourage the same for you. You are doing the best you can under the circumstances and there is no handbook given out as to how to do it. One day at a time, if too much, one hour at a time. Lots of good energy sent your way!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Happy16-

It is totally ok to have all those feelings. My mother is not recovering from her fall in Nov, appearing to either have had dementia/alzh in low grade before and now more in moderate/mid range. I am the one closest to her and have been dealing with my own feelings of guilt, rage, sadness and greif. As POA I had to make the decision to move her from rehab to nursing home- we stayed in same facility which would give us a little hope if she improved- to get back into rehab and start trying to get mobile. Unless I really do a lot of talking to convince her that getting into the wheelchair would be a great idea, she is quite content to just stay in bed. I feel like I am losing hope as I watch her seemingly do the same.
I have to remind myself- I am here on this journey WITH HER, I can only provide the best opportunity for her to come around but I cannot do it FOR HER.
I wish that I felt like the facility was more than just a safe and clean space- like that I could get comfirmation every day of teeth brushing, restorative nurse coming around, that they are asking her to come get out of bed for activities- COVID puts issues on most of the activities- including lunch in the hall.
So please as I write this to remind myself I need to be kinder & gentler to myself about how I am handling things, I encourage the same for you. You are doing the best you can under the circumstances and there is no handbook given out as to how to do it. One day at a time, if too much, one hour at a time. Lots of good energy sent your way!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter