So I was brushing my grandmother’s teeth for her for some time, but one time she had swallowed her rinse water. The next time I tried, she couldn't stick out her tongue for me to brush it, and she wouldn't/couldn't open her mouth enough for me to do it that way. Now she just closes her lips and tells me no. Her tongue is pretty much completely white and her breath smells very bad. I feel horrible but I don't want to force a toothbrush in her mouth and risk her choking on the toothpaste. I know an unclean mouth makes for a constant dry feeling. She isn't fully able to drink her water so I have been dropping small amounts on her tongue from a straw. The aid is supposed to bring some lemon swabs soon, Do those clean the mouth or just moisten it? I have no idea what to do! I know she would feel better with a clean mouth, but I don't know how to get her there.
Spend time with her.
Make sure she is comfortable.
The swabs you get, moisten them with water. and use them to moisten her lips and if you can her tongue.
If she does not want to drink do not "force" it. Offer and help her but do not insist.
Ice chips are also good but if she is having problems swallowing or is choking just use the swabs.
There are also products "like" some of the lip balms that will moisten the lips but they are not water and will not cause choking.
You mentioned an aide. Is this someone from Hospice? If so they can tell you exactly what needs to be done, or talk to the Nurse about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gLrH8mioCw
And the hospice aide or nurse will show you how to use the swabs properly.
And make sure you leave nothing left unsaid.
She developed a sore in her mouth (she wears dentures). Finding a dentist that accepts Humana Medicare has been a struggle. Two days ago, she was diagnosed with oral cancer. She'll be seeing a surgeon finally this next week. She has hardly any lower jaw left from bone loss because she never drank milk her whole life because she doesn't like it. Never took calcium either. This is not going to turn out well. Wish she wasn't so stubborn.
I am sorry your mom has oral cancer. That is a devastating cancer to have and treat. I pray you get great medical guidance for her.
She has hold them and play with them in her mouth at her leisure as she is sitting and it doesn't require any spitting out. She sometimes lets me get in there and I can do a real good brushing. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AU4LNBG/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1.
I am more successful at flossing. A caregiver helps me keep his jaws open wide enough to floss. But it takes two people to do that. If I am here alone, I give up flossing too.
I notice that if I skip a day, it is harder for her to keep it open.
Can she spit out water? Just rinsing her mouth will help.
With Daddy, the last month of his life, he was opposed to drinking anything. He had choked pretty bad and wouldn't take liquids. I brought up cherry popsicles one day and those were the winners! He couldn't really feed himself, but he could 'bite' small chunks of popsicle and let the liquid run down his throat.
Mom was busy grinding up all his meds (Have you any idea how NASTY most pills are? Mom was still forcing his cholesterol meds down him, daily). The Hospice Nurse said "those pills are not helping in any way. Just give him what he will and can eat/drink". Mom was trying to do her best, I know.
I keep those 'pre-pasted' toothbrushes in the cars and my purse. DH always forgets to brush his teeth and we'll get out the door and he's "Oh dang, I didn't brush my teeth" and I hand him one of these. They aren't magical, but will do nicely for a quick clean. You can swallow that tiny amount of 'toothpaste' and it's fine.
Daddy would chew on those and he'd chew on the foam brushes. But I know his teeth were not cleaned to a very high standard once he was totally bedbound.
We picked our battles, I guess.
https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/dental-care
I have a vague memory of a very strange sponge toothbrush they gave me at the hospital. I Googled Hospital toothbrushes to see what would come up and this is what I found: (copy and paste) https://homecare.stryker.com/oral-care/?gclid=CjwKCAiAwomeBhBWEiwAM43YIAhU0F5eF7ZlN1g05jQyK8e87oVW5t5GpJrPx01QVh4Rq0suWryvIxoCuVcQAvD_BwE
First, I must say that you have a very big heart not only by helping to care for your grandmother, but by going the extra mile to research different ways to possibly address her oral hygiene.
You're right...a clean mouth means a lot and it does make most people feel better. I realize from the update that your grandmother appears to be weak and fragile, so at this point, its best to follow the nurse's advice that is assisting your grandmother.
If your grandmother had more strength and was able to open her mouth more, I would recommend a WaterPik on a low pressure setting such as 4 (out of 10). When using the WaterPik (WP), work on the mouth in quadrants, so as not to overfill the mouth with fluids. Use the WP to rinse her mouth with water first, then floss second, then use WP filled with only mouthwash, then brush gently for a couple minutes, then rinse with only mouthwash, then have a series of WP rinses with only filtered water.
This is what I do with my mother every other day, and her Dentist says that my mother's teeth are in great shape - no issues. It takes us about 40 minutes because my mother goes slow when swishing water around in her mouth amongst other slow movements.
Its good to read about how much you care about your grandmother's well-being--- right down to the things that most people overlook or wait too long before addressing such as oral hygiene.
She is going to be just fine if you don't brush her teeth. But are you?
Can your grandmother swish and spit? If so try warm salt water . Mckesson has a sponge mouth swab that is mint flavored. Also, try ice chips to soothe and hydrate.
Wishing peace and comfort for you both.
My condolences on your loss, dear Lillian.
For the health of her gums, I had a small toothpick shaker that I filled half with salt and a half with baking soda mixed it really well and then I would sprinkle a little bit of it on her toothpaste just before brushing her teeth. She did not care for it of course, but it’s the best I could do in between Dental visits.