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They're both in their 90's, both have dementia (varying degrees) They were on their own when he injured himself (soft tissue damage in his leg trying to move a tv) His daughter moved him to a convalescent home. Mom now has a live-in caregiver. She is depressed and tortured without him at home;he tells her the doctor won't release him to go home until he's healed completely. The facility's owner has limited mom's visits to three, one-hour visits per week. Any suggestions?

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From what I am reading, you say your mother's husband which indicates to me his is not your father. If your step-father had a DPOA written for his children to act in in his best interest, I do not know what you can do. However, since your mother is his wife, I would think she is entitled to certain rights, I could be wrong since she does not have DPOA. It sounds like it is an issue of his children not accepting her as his wife. Am I wrong? Are the visits restricted by the facility or his family??
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What happened to this person who wanted suggestions?
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Why are the visiting hours limited?
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I think that there may be ways around what's keeping him being discharged from the nursing home. You are the blood relative. Do you have any power (POA)? Who is the person that has been chosen to make your parents medical decisions, in the event that they are unable to do so themselves? Is there any paper-work already in place for these issues? If not; I think I may still have some answers for you, however if you intend to bring your father home... most likely, someone will have to be with him (or them) all of the time in their home. Is that something that you can manage? You are going to need a professional involved, such as a full time care-giver, a visiting RN, maybe a physical therapist. Therer will be a need for transportation to doctors appointments, meals, bathing, dressing,house-cleaning, shopping, medications, home safety, etc. I don't know all of the details or conditions, but these are some of the conditions that must be in place. Finally, make sure that you know what you are taking on by bringing your dad home. Think this through, because it doesn't sound as if either one of your parents are capable of living alone without help and supervision. Hope this helped. Good- Luck.
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Sacosta, this sounds "fishy". Is Mom a difficult person? Does her husband want to restrict her visits? Why would the home limit her visits? Are they an acredited nursing home? If so, since she also has dementia, would they accept her as a patient rather than paying for a live-in- caregiver? I feel badly for you. Having loved ones with dementia at any stage is horrible enough without havinng these extra problems. Sending big hugs, Corinne
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I was wondering what sharymarie stated. Is it his kids pulling the strings?
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sharynmarie, you are right on target. I think his daughter wants to limit visits from mom, and the facility is going along with her wishes. She feels she is looking out for her father. She doesn't want him back with my mom. But as his wife, does she not have any rights?
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I would think she does have rights being his legal wife.. I would speak with an elder law attorney. This is very sad and a vicious thing to do especially if her only reason is because she has the power to do so and is being petty. If your step-father is legally competent, I would think that he has the right to override what his daughter says. Are your mother's visits disruptive to him, such as she gets too emotional seeing him, then having to leave him there? Again, speak with an elder law attorney.
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