In her late 90's, Mom is physically in good shape, but she doesn't eat right, never did. Its like leading a horse to water.....you can't make someone eat when they have a lifetime of lousy eating habits. I'm not happy with her doctor and am going to switch because he has not done an ekg, urinalysis or blood test on her in years. She's dehydrated, and they tried once, but no go on either, and it was suggested that at her age it isn't necessary. Her last physical, she didn't even need to undress except unbutton her blouse and she got the eye, ears, nose & throat and listening to her heart and lungs. She got some mental tests and as a result we are told her dementia is Alzheimers, after all these years, and that it is advanced enough he says that she can't stay in Independent Living and needs to go to assisted living. I've been told by a few people that Vitamin B12 shots often help memory and cognitive thinking. Mom may be old, but she is mobile, needs no medications and is pretty much able to take care of a lot of her own functions such as getting up, making bed, makeup, going to dinner, making coffee, etc. I don't want to see her become a vegetable if part of her problem is being caused by B12 deficiency or some other imbalance.
What does everyone know about those shots? (and yes, as soon as we move her - or maybe before - new doctor who spends some time with her)
Vitamin B12 shots can't hurt...though not sure if it really does slow the advance of Alzheimer's.
My dad had the shots a few times in his last year...I didn't see an improvement, but each person responds differently. I hope it works for your mom.
I doubt your mom needs an EKG (if it ain't broke, don't fix it) but some blood work is definitely in order. My mom's thyroid stopped working and she was much perkier once we got her on thyroid meds and got her to the right dosage. And dehydration will cause tiredness. My mom was dehydrated the last time she went to the ER, so I've been diligent in getting her to drink lots of water every day.
I cannot see what possible harm a full blood count would do her. These things can be checked. They are easily checked. If in fact her B12 levels are fine and her thyroid is fine and she has, sadly, just got to face the fact of declining brain function - well, even then, what have you lost by checking?
Having said that, and implicitly agreed with you that it might be an idea to get a slightly less apathetic doctor on board, I have to say that it always makes me smile just a little when people hold up their hands in horror at the lifestyle choices of nonagenarians. What are we worrying about: that their lives will be tragically cut short by a lack of dietary fibre and balanced vitamins? Because if she turns round and says to you that her regimen of hot dogs and pink gins has got her this far and she'd like to stick to it, thank you very much, she has kind of got all the empirical evidence on her side, hasn't she?
But to keep to your main points:
1. I completely agree with you - the thought of allowing one's loved one to go downhill for want of a simple, easily identified adjustment is horrifying.
2. If she is deficient in B12, the shots might well help. If she isn't, they won't.
As for the doctor, I would change doctors in a flash. My parents are in their 90's and they get blood tests twice a year. And in those test the B-12 and vitamin D are checked for levels. B12 shots or pills only work if one's B12 levels are below normal. I had the B12 shots myself but my B12 level was off the chart low. Went weekly for said shot for several months. Then every other week.
Some medical test won't be given by doctors because of your Mom's age.... if something was found, let's say something urgent with her heart, she wouldn't be a good candidate for surgery because of how old she is.... so the test isn't necessary.
It's like my Mom and her mammograms, if cancer was found she wouldn't survive surgery or chemo at 97, so I don't understand why she keeps insisting on having that test.