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After a hip, femur, and multiple lumbar fractures, my mother spent 5 months in and out of assisted living, rehab, and 6 visits to the hospital. She never walked again, and succumbed to CHF, kidney failure, and pneumonia.
When doctors knew the end was near, we placed her in hospice at the hospital where she had been treated for months. I did not want her to die alone, or with strangers.
Two weeks ago, when her heart stopped, my brother and I screamed for a nurse. My mother was pronounced dead by four medical personnel at 5:23pm. To everyone's shock, at 5:26pm, and then again at 5:29pm, my mother took huge, open mouthed breaths. The nurses were in shock. All of them said they had NEVER seen anything like it. Two nurses jumped back each time, as if they were freaked out by what had just happened.
Please help me understand how and why this happened. It has haunted me since the day my mother died.

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Hello, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Those were called agonal breaths, and they can occur after the heart stops beating for up to several minutes. They were not like normal breathing that would be capable of sustaining life, or her trying to breathe because she needed to, but just her body's reaction to her heart stopping and not pushing oxygenated blood to her brain. I hope this helps...
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I'm sorry for what you went through--it must have been very frightening.

My dad was pronounced 'dead' and his heart kept beating, irregularly for about 3-4 minutes. He didn't breathe, just the heartbeat.

The body has a kind of 'electrical system' that doesn't always shut down immediately at death. You just saw an example of that. Sometimes people will gasp, sometimes they will continue to have a pulse--but for all intents and purposes, they are gone. The medical personnel kind of jumped the gun at declaring your mom deceased.

She was gone, why should this haunt you? Do you feel you should have had her resuscitated? Because that wouldn't have happened w/o some major effort and in the end, she was going to pass.

Just because a couple of nurses had never seen anything like this, doesn't mean anything. Everyone's death is personal to them. I'm sure others will come on here and tell even more 'odd' stories.

Please don't dwell on the last few minutes of mom's life. She was so sick, and obviously ready to die. I'm really sorry it took a dramatic turn.

Ah--Elizabeth Y gave the word that I couldn't remember as to what these gasps for air are called!!
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I’m so sorry. I was going to say the same thing someone else did—it sounds like agonal breaths which can be disturbing even for those who know it happens. I think it happens when the chest muscle contracts. It’s really not uncommon to let out a few last breaths after the heart has stopped beating.
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My Grandparents were raised in 2 or 3 generation homes where the elders would often pass away at home. I think our modern society has less exposure to the physical aspects of dying in general. (Certainly TV deaths are commonplace but not reality).

I would accept what you experienced as part of the process. As a physical reaction. I have personally heard groans & seen movements that were attributed to releasing air & electrical/muscle spasms.

I suppose I think of those last moments as fading away, little by little, before all the light has gone.

You & your brother were blessed to be there at the ending.

May you find peace.
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Seems very odd that a (hospice?) nurse had never seen anything like that before.

Dying isn't like flipping off a switch, different bodily functions take longer to shut down that others.
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JoAnn29 Mar 2021
It may not have been a Hospice Nurse present. But I would think any Nurse is aware of the dying process. But then my daughter has worked rehabs/NHs for 20 yrs so its pretty much a common thing.
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I was with my dad when he died at home on hospice last summer. The last few hours of watching him were very uncertain. I’m not sure there are any truly typical ways for life to end. There were several times we thought dad was gone and he wasn’t. What I am sure of is that his last day he’d already left, and his body hadn’t yet caught up. I’m sorry you’re going through this wondering, sorry for your loss, and hope you’ll find peace knowing her struggle is over
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I'm baffled that they had never encountered Cheynne Stokes breathing before as it is fairly common at end of life, or is it just that they were so certain she was already gone? I think that hollywood death scenes have a lot to answer for, it is seldom as peaceful and pretty as that. I'm in agreement with Daughterof1930 though, I think they fly away and leave the body before those final moments.
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