My husband's brother and wife were taking care of her for 1 1/2 years. Now it is our turn. They are giving us 2,500 from here estate, but with her healthy diet, increased laundry (she had overnight diapers, but they leak) and increased utilities (she does not like to be too hot or too cold). I am wondering if 2,500 is underpayment. Since we have had her (6 months), I have carefully planned her diabetic meals (the Dr. is thrilled and has cut back one of her diabetic pills. We have also discovered a skin cancer and has had it removed. We are also taking care of her feet. I am also typing up her personal history. The other family did not even know that a diabetic person needed a diabetic diet. We were told about the financial arrangements the day we took her in...by note. (the other family is quite dominating and rude) I have been laid off, but feel I am closing in on a new job, my husband is wondering why I am looking for a job, but I am needing money, which he finally understands.
Having parents move in is a BIG step. Sit down with the hub NOW and outline your expectations...you may find that they vary drastically. To avoid burnout, you should share the caregiving duties equally (sounds like the hub was hoping that you would make caregiving your fulltime job). Also, I really like the idea of family "taking turns," but do you guys also have a 1 1/2 year limit on your care? The family should not assume that this is a permanent arrangement.
It is also my personal belief that the person caring for a parent needs to have the POAs...if for no other reason, than they are closest to the situation. I would not charge my Mom for the care I give her. She pays for all of the items she needs. I take her to the doc, take care of her bills, do errands, laundry, etc.
Good luck...communication is the key.