Our aide likes to party when she is not working. Technically aren't we supposed to have her in the house since she is live in? We do not mind that she wants to go out but its excessive and she has been very irresponsible about it. How should I set boundaries and legally what can I do? If I tell the agency she will be fired. Thank you
Is not under the influence. (you could do a drug test) or request the agency do so.
Does not endanger herself or the person she is caring for.
Does not do anything illegal while on your property (includes DUI)
You can not fire her. (some states an employer can fire an employee for no reason)
Unless she is under age you can not set a curfew.
As long as she has keys to the house she can come and go when she is on her time. If she does not have a set of keys I suppose you could say that the doors lock at 1:00 am after that she has to find another place to spend the night.
And I hope she is not using you car while she goes out. Just in case she does over indulge.
But..
a few questions.
Does she do a good job? Is she trustworthy? Do you really want to keep her? If so this might be a sit down and have a conversation and just tell her that if the behavior continues you will have to report her to the agency. Give her a chance to straighten out.
To do this kind of work you would have to literally give up your social life. I wouldn't want to be told what I can and can't do on my time off and not be able to have a guest over occasionally.
This must be a family situation. Something sounds off. No, they need someone older who has no outside interest other than maybe going to the park or the library and scoot back home to sit in their quarters and be good with that.
Taking the car without permission means she needs to be reported to employers & police so future potential employers are aware.
It is hard to get help to work such long hours. You may need plans for a second worker to allow 2 days off for primary worker I the future. Workers are legally entitled to days off...not just 8 hours to sleep. So work that in future plan.
"She is paid for 16 hrs a day. She snuck a man in the house and took my parents car without asking."
My goodness why would you have us focus on setting a curfew when something like has happened? And I don't mean having a guest (man or otherwise), I mean taking the car without permission.
If she is from an agency you can ask for a replacement. Shouldn’t be a big issue.
By the way, I am not a child hater. I love children but not at work.
Time to find a new caregiver.
Remember that you can not expect someone to stay at home 24/7, it is unrealistic and you will always have problems by placing unrealistic expectations on an employee.
Put your house rules in writing for the next one and give it to the agency, make sure you get a signed copy.
If I otherwise liked and appreciated that aide I would treasure her, and I wouldn't give it a thought. You have not bought an entire life. She isn't your slave. She is someone working for you in an arrangement that seems to fit both your lives. If she is not a good fit anymore, and you believe you can do lots better, then by all means.......
You hired her through an agency for 24/7 daily live in? Wow. Didn't even realize there were such places until I saw a New York Times article exposing what is expected of workers from other countries (often enough) for 24/7.
I can only think that is very exploitative. And if this woman is working for you with no time off? That is not honestly lawful IMHO.
They should be saying 'NEXT' or helping with their mom more?? And clearly OP isn't up for what she wants the CG to bow to. Not blaming her either, jmo. It's not easy any way you roll the dice.
I think the employee might want more time off. Just because someone is paid to work 16 hours per day doesn't mean it's a good idea for that person to work 16 hours per day. Whoo-hoo! The employee gets 8 hours off every day! Would any of us like to have her job?
Bringing a stranger into my home and taking my car without permission would be the reason she got let go. I bet she gas no license or insurance to cover her driving your car.
You have said she is paid 16 hours a day.
Where does she live on her days off? Or is her only home? If it is her only home what sort of quarters does she have? Her own suite, a bedroom in the main part of the house? If she has her own suite, I do not know if you can legally stop her from having an overnight guest. It is her home.
The car was not stolen, it was used without permission. Legally these are very different things.
The easiest way would be to get a new agency, then you are not firing the caregiver, but choosing a different company to do business with. She goes, the agency goes.
I know someone that hired someone as a babysitter and she was a typical teenager on her phone. She was talking to guys online and one of them asked for an address to send flowers.
She didn’t want to give her home address and she gave the address of the person’s house she sat at. She was immediately fired.
Most people are not going to want strangers in their home or even flowers sent by someone they don’t know.
As far as guests, this is her home, correct? This is a tough one. You cannot dictate what she does on her time off. But, you can limit who she invites into the home.
I imagine you are not living in the same household, Anon? Your profile says you are caring for your father, Jenny 41 years old, with Parkinson's and stroke?
when I needed to have 16 hours covered... the agencies provided TWO people to do this,
so...I think the OP is blowing smoke, Paid for 16 hours? A from an agency? I think it isn’t legal and the agency would not ever allow it
Yes, why keep someone if you aren't happy? Call the agency and tell them to send someone else. She is not bound to that person. They could even switch to another agency if they wanted to.
BUT
the sneaking in a man and the borrowing of the car?!!!
She needs to be gone.
TODAY!
Tell the agency what she has done.
It sounds as if you probably 'got' her cheap and expect the world. She shouldn't be expected to work sixteen hours a day (with only time to sleep off). Where she goes and what she does in her time off is none of your business so long as she shows up for work on time and fit to work, rested enough, etc. Is she young, an immigrant? These groups are very exploited by the agencies who hire them and by the clients too, often. Maybe you need to work with an agency who takes more interest in their employees and their clients and makes sure all terms of employment are clear and fair.
Some unmarried people want these live in jobs because they can save money. If they are not part of a household, this really cuts down on expenses. There have been people here who have posted, what do I do after mum dies, I have no job history, and will need to support myself. This may be a viable alternative.
If you do not like the labor law, vote for candidates that will change it --although I would note that even in New York, a liberal state, with the legislature and governor all Democrats, it is legal to pay residential live in employees 13 hours a day, as long as they get 8 hours of sleep time (at least 5 of which must be contiguous) and 3 hours of eating time.