The aides are coming daily as mom is remaining in bed and so it appears incontinent when not that long ago although she had a few accidents, she was able to get to the bathroom and if not messed herself and clothing up. Incontinent x 2. So clearly the aides assistance is a blessing. However mom has enough spunk to be sensitive and object to being cleaned up "down there". Her phrases are typically "THAT'S ENOUGH" or "GET OUT OF THERE". Completely understandable. But today as I stood by holding the bag for soiled disposables, Mom was basically lying naked on the bed the aides having removed her gown. Thinking she was chilly or could at least have a bit of coverage I placed the gown over her private area, which brought a comment from the aide that they had gotten it away from her and I basically gave it back (ie. complicating their job). My question is what is SOP? I believe I've read, and experienced myself when in the hospital in the past year, that care should be taken to protect the patient's privacy and to keep them comfortable...i.e. the areas not being cleaned at the time should be kept covered. It's hurtful to think they might make their job easier by taking advantage of someone with dementia, but considering the agency I can't imagine they were not trained correctly. Would you say something to them or a supervisory person?
I have bought 5 extra long towels that they can use to cover her whole body. They can either move it up and/or down to keep her covered or roll it as they travel down her body.
The two well trained aides keep her covered through her bath time. They also report to me any changes in skin conditions anywhere on her body. They are very gentle as they bath her. ( They both have told me they bath her the way they would like to be bathed if they were in the same condition.
One of the other two is trainable. She is in her early 20's and has a marvelous attitude. She plans to go to nursing school soon so she is interested in learning all that she can. I work with her through her work day ( I day a week so that I can show her how to do it properly.) The other one is in her early 60's and either is showing early signs of dementia or exhaustion. She works as many clients as she can and tries for overtime every week. No mater what I show ot tell her today she goes back to what she was doing that I corrected and when I correct her again, she will answer, I didn't know that, I'll try that, I know, I know.
Each of these women have a different strength. I ministers to my wife on her 4 days. One does her hair and nails, girly things . The young one, she real good at doing whatever my wife wants. The one that may have dementia or exhaustion is a cleaner. Last week, she scrubbed the walls in our home. She sweeps and mops the whole house every day she works, usually 5. She will pull everything out of cabinets and put it all back neatly and organized. So with her I can overlook some weaknesses and continue to "remind" her.
I help them all to varying degrees when they are working on my wife such as turning, holding her in position while they bath her bottom, and moving her to and from her be and wheel chair with the life.
I have had better aides and I have had much worse, but with the current team, they help me tremendously.
( I am disabled myself , back injury in 1996 with 2 failed surgeries)
-Warm up a blanket or some towels before hand and ready to wrap around her when she's undressed.
-Warm the disposable wipes in the microwave before use so they aren't so cold. Be sure they're not too hot either!
-Use moistened paper towels to wipe away the majority of the soil (cheaper than wipes) and finish up with disposable wipes.
-Better yet, purchase some second hand beach towels from the thrift store, cut or rip to the desired size. Use only once for soap and water cleanups and then dispose. They aren't worth washing and reusing.
When we first got hospice for my Mom, the aide had never given a bed bath previously! As my Mom couldn't easily turn on her side due to the broken ribs from the lung cancer, it was a challenge. I (retired RN including Hospice and home health) taught her how to bathe Mom. To change the sheets, I had Dad, her elderly father, sister and the aide lift Mom in the air on the dirty sheet while I made the bed under her. I then stripped the dirty one from top to bottom to reduce the pain
My mom was on hospice for two years and I did all the care myself and did not bother with the aide since I had to change mom's diaper 6 - 8 times a day anyway. I showered her for years because she could not do it on her own and I made certain her privates were kept clean because of the dangers of urinary tract infection. I did not like doing that, but if she can't someone has to do it. Or die of infection.
The skin MUST be kept clean and free of urine or breakdown will occur quickly and you will end up with a bed sore. Right to my mom's death her skin was in perfect condition, age 90 and 3 months with insulin dependent diabetes.
Skin and mouth care are top priorities..and of course a bowel schedule. I had to keep my mom on a strict bowel schedule or she could become impacted. She had a bowel movement every Tues, Thurs and Sundays. After the bowel movement you better make CERTAIN she is clean -- and I mean really clean-- because stool is the main reason for urinatory tract infection.
I worked very hard to keep my mom mobile which meant daily walks using a specialized walker. I did this daily for 5 years which this made her care easier since she was able to get into the shower. She was only bedridden for 2-1/2 months after 15 years of ALzheimer's, which ate up her brain to the point she forgot and could not focus on standing. The bed bath was much harder to do but the hospital bed hospice provided made it easier but it was still very very hard work. Still, she did not die of Alzheimer's but the complications of being an insulin dependent diabetic and associated kidney and liver disease so if she were a walkie-talkie the same would have happened. God killed my mom due to her other chronic diseases.
I had to get her a feeding tube in the end since she forgot how to swallow but it was a very last resort. Oral care is still needed with those. Never had a problem with it. The tube took a LOT of work, but she did very well with it and she did not die of dehydration which can take weeks. Mom died very comfortably since all her needs were met and she was kept CLEAN to the end and she died with perfectly intact skin.
I rescinded mom's hospice so she could get the feeding tube, and put her back on hospice on hospital discharge. That was easy. I bought an "tube top" on amazon to cover the tubing which was much better and more comfortable than an abdominal binder. I did this so mom did not have to die of dehydration which is slow and terrible way to die. Mom never bothered it, and she sure was comfortable to the end and we never used any narcotics or psychotropics because she knew she was loved, surrounded with love.
I simply told them that I would like half of his body covered at all times as he is cold and to please keep a blanket or big towel over the top or bottom while they bathe him.
Also, if you mom can clean herself in her private area, that should be allowed.
My 87 ye old Dad has dementia so he is not able to
The client's privacy must always be respected when giving a bed bath. That means after their clothes are removed a draw sheet or large towel is used to cover them. The only parts of the client's body that are supposed to be exposed at any time are the ones being bathed. There's no excuse for an aide to slack off the way your mom's are.
Talk to them ONCE about it. Let them know that if they slack off like that again or treat your mom with such indignity, they will be fired at once. Also, let them know you will get them in trouble with their agency. You do not allow them to criticize you for telling them something. Oh no, I don't think so.
There's no excuse to justify slacking off like that and I'm sorry your mom got treated like that. Caregivers like hers give all of us a bad name.
In my husbands 22 month stint with hospice, they only came twice a week to bathe him, and not at all during the 5 months when Covid first appeared.
But that being said, they should be covering your mom with bath towels while they're cleaning her up, if not for her privacies sake, then to keep her somewhat warm. My husband was very particular on how he wanted to be bathed, and so I made sure I let the aides know, as most often we had different aides weekly. With my husband it was more of a "being cold" issue as he was very cold natured, so they learned to keep his top half covered with one towel and his bottom half with another.
Don't be afraid to speak up. You now have to be your moms advocate. Hospice is there to serve you and your mom, so make sure they are doing things the way you both prefer.
The aides ought to have done that anyway, without being told, as soon as they removed your mother's gown; so I have a slight red mist forming at the thought that they actively resented your covering her (though I wouldn't have used her gown, myself).
What to do... since you didn't deck them at the time, very restrained of you... put it in writing to their service manager, subject heading "respecting privacy and dignity during personal care." Indeed this ought to have been covered in their training. Perhaps they need a reminder.
Just to underline the importance and versatility of towels: I did a 2:1 round with a male colleague which included a call to a lady bedbound after a stroke. The client was friendly and welcoming, but when it came to changing her pad she called out to her son and said to him: "you know what I want to tell them, don't you?" She was both too embarrassed to have a male helping her, and too afraid to tell us herself directly.* But she's a 2:1 client for a reason - no moving and handling training is going to make it possible for 1 female to turn and wash her - so we reassured her with a compromise. Bath sheet over her, both of us helped her to roll, male worker held her in position, female worker made a sort of tent and did the care. Blushes spared, client happy, and equal opportunities rule!
*Another red flag for me. I seem to spend half my time encouraging people to give feedback and express their needs freely - how else can we get things right? - and it makes me very tight-lipped when they're afraid to. What's been going on?
I think their service manager may in effect be the nurse on the team. Take note that while I realize it may come from a place of compassion, I have also heard one or the other of these two aides refer to mom as "honey" which I know is nit picky of me to be offended by, but I also do a cursory orientation and review with new employees who serve community residents with light housekeeping, and in fact give them an article about using such cute terms without consent and how demeaning it can be. I would in fact want people to inform me as a supervisor of anything that didn't seem to be going right for the very reasons you mention, but I guess when it is our own circumstances, we are not thinking as clearly....In the end doing the right thing, the right way I would hope makes things far easier for all, as you mentioned in your example! Thanks again...
In isolation, I woul ask for a supervisor to intervene. Given the other issues reprted, I would look elsewhere.
Taking him from the bedroom to the bathroom she made sure he was covered.
When bed bath became necessary she would expose only the part of his body that she was washing at the time. She would wash, rinse, dry and cover then move to another part of the body.
If the aides are not following this type of process you can say something. If they ignore your request you can call Hospice and and talk to a supervisor or Care Manager.
If your request is still ignored I would contact another Hospice agency as this is one I would not want caring for my loved one.