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When giving son large down payment for new house, he promised to put me on deed, then after I gave the money he changed his mind and denied saying he would put me on deed. I am now living in the new house under a hostile environment and have no valid document protection to keep me there. He has suggested several times that if I am not happy, I can just move. I am 80 years old and not well and cannot afford to pay rent or buy anything now since I gave him most of my money towards his new house, believing I would be put on the deed. What options do I have, if any?

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Contact an attorney and see if you can sue him for your money or report elder abuse.

I hope you have some kind of documentation that you gave him the money, or you might be hard-pressed to prove your case.
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Frebrowser Mar 2022
I have a bad feeling that the lender required documentation stating that the money she gave him was a gift with no repayment expected.

Maryleexxx: Do you have a POA or other trustworthy person who can help you? If you don’t have a POA set up, falling for this may be your warning to check with your lawyer and your doctor about letting your wishes be known.

At least you did get to move into the house, so you should have rights as a resident. Make the best of it by not actively sharing too much information with your son while you figure out what your options are. Don’t rule out looking into low cost housing subsidies in case you eventually need them; there is often a waiting list.
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Mary - I am so sorry that your son is a liar and a thief. How much down payment did you give him? I hope you are not paying him any rent. At this point I think it would be best for you to consider the money you gave him as prepaid rent for the time you are there until you move. Meanwhile, do look into low-income housing for seniors and get on the waiting list.
Do not move out until you have a place to move to.
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Maryleexxx Mar 2022
Thank you for responding to my question. Right now, I am taking your advice because it is the best option I have at the moment. I very much appreciate your input.
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Without hearing both sides of the story, it is difficult to pass judgement on who said what; and while one should expect trust from family, the amount of money in question might have suggested that making things official with letters etc. was rather mandatory.
At the same time, your wanting to be on the deed also means accepting liability for repayments, taxes, maintenance, insurance... quite a responsibility not to be entered into lightly or in ignorance; and while a down payment is a sizeable sum, the longer term costs quickly make this pale in comparison.
Sorry for the impertinence, but why did you feel you wanted to be on the deed in the first place? Did these doubts and fears exist before the discussion took place, or may you have been 'buying' your own built in carer with strings attached? I guess trust works both ways in that regard and I can't help feeling there is more than meets the eye here.
Regardless, you are living there now having 'contributed' significantly for the right to do so (morally at least), but if you are feeling manipulated or at a disadvantage, I would encourage you to take the offer from your son to move, naturally having your down payment returned in full. Perhaps you might want to take stock of whether you will be better off and then reconsider the restoration of your relationship with your son and the unspoken services he may be providing now or in the future.
Unless you dragged the money out from your mattress, there should be a record of funds withdrawn and deposited accordingly which points to the reason for the transaction - I think you may still have some chance if this is made clearer to your son, as understanding mutual obligations is the first lesson in partnerships.
Incidentally, if you were on the deed, do you think the situation would have been any less hostile... or perhaps merely the tables would have been turned?
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Maryleexxx Mar 2022
Thank you very much for responding to my question. I really appreciate it. I just sent a sample of what I am trying to cope with because it is much too lengthy to go into all the details. I’m sorry if I was not clear. I don’t think the situation would be any less hostile if I went on the deed, thank you for bringing that up. It was a very rushed transaction because of the bidding wars on the house and I felt pressured to help with the down payment. I also asked him for my down payment back so I could have the option to move. My son told me be the money was not available and that it was wrapped up in the house. I am between a rock and a hard place now, with few options and am curious to see what others would do if they were in my situation. Thank you again for your input.
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Contact Adult Protective Services. You will need to stick to your guns by saying son coerced you to give him the money. Do not change your mind or APS will not be able to help you. This is financial exploitation and could be considered emotional abuse.

https://www.quincyma.gov/departments/elder_services/index.php

https://www.mass.gov/reporting-elder-abuse-neglect
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What he did is, I agree with Glad below, elder financial abuse. You had a verbal agreement. He promised to put you on the deed and he did not do it. I would inform him that on you go or you go to a lawyer and to APS. I hope that you have a financial trail of the money; I am certain you do.
This should serve as a warning to all others if nothing else.
I am certain they want you out of the house, so don't do that until you see an elder law attorney and APS. You might warn him first that is your plan. Tell him you have all proof of giving him the money and have your witnesses lined up that this was the plan.
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Mary, I'm sorry to learn of the distress this has caused you, including the disappointment that your son refused to honor his verbal agreement. as well as his inappropriate treatment of your being in the house for which you partially paid.

Thinking this over, I do recall that some states have provisions for oral contracts.

Just summarily checking Massachusetts contract law, I found this, from a site which I believe provides accurate summaries. You would really need to contact a MA contract law attorney to get further information, including whether or not a breached oral contract can be enforced. (If you need help on this, post back.)

https://www.katzlawgroup.com/are-verbal-contracts-enforceable

The 3 elements for an oral contract seem to have existed:

1. An offer,
2. An acceptance of that offer, and
3. Consideration. (money)

Oral contracts can be tricky, with emphasis on various issues as well as the breach.

What I would do is read the cited article, see if you have the necessary proof, and if you think you do, contact a MA contract attorney. You might have to search for firms with "transactional" practices, as contracting is a field in that practice area. ("Transactional" law includes legal fields such as real estate law, M&A, and other practice areas.)

You might also search on line for "Massachusetts, breached oral contracts", or something similar.

I do emphasize that based on the little research I've done, as well as my own experience in contracting, this can be a tricky area, and more than likely would require a contract attorney experienced in litigating contested issues.

An alternative that a contract attorney might suggest is that your son refund the funds you gave him. I'm assuming that they're documented as deductions from your financial assets, of one kind or another. If that proof exists, the emphasis might switch to your son's denial that there was an understanding, or that he owes you anything.

Was anyone else privy to the conversations with your son, someone who could verify the understanding? Are there any e-mails, texts or other documents that could be located and provided to substantiate your position?

You wrote you have "no valid protection" to remain in your son's house. I think the issue also is what valid documentation you have for the funds, such as checking account statements, IRA withdrawal statements or such, which would indicate the amount withdrawn.

Did you pay him directly? Or did you provide funds to the real estate agent handling the transaction? Either way, there would be documentation that an attorney could subpoena to document your donation.

Personally, I think only a scoundrel would do this to his mother, and I would agree that looking for a more peaceful living environment is a high priority.

Best wishes for success, but if not that, then at least some peace in finding a home w/o the friction your son generates.
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Some states have extra protections for senior citizens being taken advantage of.

You need to talk to some professionals in your state.
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