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My ex boyfriend has asked me to move In and to be his in home care giver but he keeps saying that I don't appreciate anything and all's me a b*tch and threatens me throwing my stuff in the garage and threatens to kick me outside treats me like a slave and I am not even on a payroll yet what can I do about this.

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I would suggest professional counseling for you so that you are able to exit your abusive situation, and so that you will not choose to repeat the mistake of being unable to judge character in the future.
Other than that I find myself enamored of RealyReal's idea.
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What can you do? You can leave. I'm sure he's your "ex" for a good reason; remind yourself of that, and walk away before you become so entrenched in this situation that you become financially dependent on him.

Even if he were the nicest guy in the world - which it sounds like he's NOT - you wouldn't owe him anything. He'll figure things out for himself once you're gone. Leave.
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Krista79

Call a domestic abuse hotline and ask for help getting out. Follow through.

You are not losing your mind. Your mind is telling you to save yourself and you are not listening.

What would you tell a friend who would do this to themselves?
Wish the caregivers here had the power to help you leave immediately.

Throwing your stuff in the garage is a physical act of aggression. The physical escalates from there.

Do you have a "Go-bag" packed yet, because you might need to leave without any belongings at all.
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Run.
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Move out ASAP and don't look back! It's as simple as that. You owe him nothing!
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Yes, sounds like you are there. No Caregiver should have to deal with this, not even a spouse. As said an ex is an ex for a good reason. Move out now. This is abuse and could escalate. If you are worried about how he will care for himself, then call Adult Protection Services and tell them u feel he is vulnerable. Just say u were his Caregiver and he became abusive so u left. They will evaluate his situation and maybe be able to help with some resources.

You owe this man nothing. He may need help that no Caregiver may be able to give.
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So it sounds like not only did he ask but, you have already moved in. Is that right?

If it is, then you give him a bill for services rendered to date and move out. If it is not, then you move on with your life and disconnect from him completely.

Many states, any monetary value under 3k can be pursued through small claims courts and is fairly cheap to do.

He is not your responsibility and his actions mean that you don't owe him or his needs any consideration. Get out now.
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pamzimmrrt Nov 2021
I noticed that also, that she is ALREADY moved in. And she says  I am not even on a payroll yet what can I do about this. If you were not on the payroll before you moved in,, I am pretty sure you won;t "get" on the payroll now. Get out while its early days
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As you say this is your ex-boyfriend. Don't take the position. Whatever amount it's supposed to pay isn't worth it.
Get a different job and move out of his place. He is abusing you by constantly threatening to throw you and your things out in the street. He will always treat you like a slave and once the actual payment starts he will double-down and treat you even worse because you're getting paid.
Live-in caregiver work is about the worst and most miserable job on earth. It's ten times worse if you're doing it for a person you have a history with.
Please pack your stuff up and go. Even if you have to take another live-in position temporarily do it. At least it won't be as bad as what you're living in now.
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How do you break the cycle of abuse?
Break free from an abuser by refusing to give him or her the power to affect your view of yourself and your capabilities. End an abusive relationship by focusing on healing yourself first. Finding people who will offer support is a powerful tool to help you break the cycle of abuse.

Call
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
TTY 1.800.787.3224
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Isthisrealyreal Nov 2021
Bury him in the desert?
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IMO you state he is your EX boyfriend….I am not seeing your obligation except that maybe you are a rule of person that helps all. If your MH and well being is at risk, I would walk away. I know we do not know all your information regarding any of the details but based on what you stated….move on. Take care of YOU first.
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