I am 58 y/o married woman with 2 adult sons & 5 Grandkids. I have been a nurse for 38 years. I must be 59 1/2 to retire. My Grandmother is 104 years old and living at her home. She had three children, 2 daughters and a son, and we have been sharing caregiving responsibilities for 5 1/2 years. Her older daughter is 82 and drives an hour away to stay for 72 hours. (I am my aunt’s medical POA, too). My mom is 76 and just had hip replacement surgery (which she put off for far too long). Her son only stays about 10 hours a week, split up over 2 days. I work 40 hours M-F (and usually overtime). I usually stay 24 hours every weekend. Her two daughters have asked me to stay all weekend, every weekend, but I said no. I need some time with my husband and to rest. My mom knew in advance that she would be having surgery but made no attempt to find help as everyone just expects me to do it. Well, I made it 3 nights, 2 days, got sick & tested positive for COVID. I’m praying my grandmother doesn’t get it. I spent an entire day calling for help to be sure my grandmother was taken care of so I could isolate from her. I wanted to ask her son’s grandkids who are nurses to help, but my uncle said “No, they’re too busy because they work.” Hello! I work full time too! And I’m currently expected to care for his mother 75 hours a week! I was only asking for few hours of their time. I texted them anyway, but they weren’t available. My son worked a midnight shift 2 1/2 hours away & drove home, then drove his daughter to a Dr. appt. an hour away and was still willing to help a few hours as we were in crisis mode. My uncle also likes to remind me that he needs time to go on vacations with his wife & spend time with his Grandkids and Great Grandkids. Well, I’m missing out on my grandkids' lives. I can feel my relationship with my husband suffering. My Grandma’s farm & home are still in her name, so we can’t get government funded help. I was lucky that a neighbor who is also an LPN & works at the hospital with me, agreed to stay 12 hours overnight while I was sick. I paid her $15.00 an hour to do so. Mom said she will pay me back. My mom keeps telling me she feels bad that I must cover so many hours for her, but I think she should have arranged some extra paid help before her surgery rolled around. Instead, I feel like everything to do with Grandma’s care is left up to me. I used to pay for Life Alert myself when Grandma started needing it. She has 24-hour care now & it’s been stopped. My mom had her other hip replaced a few years ago & I had to take an unexpected vacation at work because her son went on vacation & her older daughter went to stay with her daughter-in-law who had only a minor surgery. I told my uncle that he should send me for a week’s stay in his timeshare since I had to take vacation so he could go on a vacation, but that never happened. Also, her son, his wife & kids are resentful because he wanted her to sign over the farm to him years ago, but she didn’t want to. (I think my mother is to blame for that). She wants everything divided equally. She has a farm of her own with my dad, & their sister doesn’t want it. Most of us live all around Grandma’s farm & it is “Home.” I’ve been trying to convince my parents to put their farm in my brother’s name, so we don’t have this problem when they need help, but they say no. Now, my husband wants to sell our house and move after Grandma passes. I know I’ll grieve for our home. We spent 10 years building it ourselves. So much blood, sweat, tears & sacrifice. But I can see his point. He’s been picking up the slack at home cause I’m not there or I’m too exhausted to do it. Does anyone else out there identify with my situation? My health is also being affected by the stress. I’m taking 3 blood pressure meds and recently had a scare with my heart. My EKG said I had a heart attack, but the cardiologist doesn’t think I did.