Local public health laws require that the nurses ask once weekly if the patient requires help bathing. My mother refuses so they just have to record that they attempted to help. She will not let family members help and she does not do it herself. She has developed incontinence and this makes the situation even worse. We cant MAKE her clean herself. What can we do?
In many situations if an elderly person is asked if they would like a shower they're going to say no. I'm sure the staff knows this. Have they tried other methods of getting your mom to bathe? Like saying something like, "I'll be back in 3 minutes for your shower and then you can lay down for a little nap before dinner" or something like that?
Is there a particular staff member whom you really like? Someone you've noticed who really seems on top of things and is friendly and kind? Someone your mom has taken to? If so maybe you can seek out their assistance.
Talk to the Director of Nursing about this, see if the DON can't give you some guidance. I'm sure this isn't the first time they've come across this situation.
Best Wishes,
Carol