My 90 year-old uncle has been summoned to court tomorrow by DSS for what is called an elderly intervention hearing. The papers that were given to him describe this as a neglect or abuse case. He has been unable to properly care for my 91 year-old aunt who has Alzheimer's and diabetes. He forgets her medications, her doctor appointments, and often skips meals. My uncle has his own set of mental health issues and now is refusing to pay bills—including the electric. The family has made no real plans for either my aunt or uncle's future care. They have very little money and live in a mobile home on property that belongs to their son. We don't know if the court will appoint a guardian to take on the responsibility of their care, or if something more substantial will be decided at this hearing. If someone has been through a hearing like this, I would appreciate knowing what to expect. My husband and I have been trying to help them, but it's becoming quite obvious that we can't meet the real needs that they have (we're not Power of Attorney). Also my uncle doesn't want to listen to wise advise and trying to get bills paid is becoming more of a tug-of-war. At times, we pay the bill so the power and phone will still be provided.
I would strongly advise again you taking responsibility mainly because your Uncle will not be co-operatve and you should not have to keep paying the bills. By all means become advocates for your Aunt and Uncle. they are both beyond the age where most people are able to continue to be independ.
I have prayed for over 2 years that both my aunt and uncle would get the care they can't give themselves. If they had children and grandchildren who showed love and respect toward them, then I would be fine with them caring for their parents. While my cousin did come to the hearing, he left quickly afterward. His dad had already begun blaming him for the court hearing. Even when we tried to explain that the medical doctor and DSS were the ones requesting the hearing, he would not accept that information.
If I have learned anything from this sad situation, it is that my husband and I need to have a good plan in place when/if the time comes that we can no longer live in our home. We have wonderful young adult children who love and respect us, but I love them too much to dump such a heavy burden on them when it comes to caring for us when we are too feeble to care for ourselves.
So, someone did report your aunt and uncle to DSS. That may not be a bad thing. If no one in the family has the ability and/or means to take care of them, then they need to be placed in a facility, hopefully together, so that they can get the proper care. Your uncle is totally unequipped to take care his wife with dementia. That is a tough road even for a fully functional adult.
If you do not have the means or time to consult an elder attorney, then I would say plan on being at the hearing. I bottom line is, someone cared about them to report them and so now it's time to make the necessary changes to be sure they are taken care of.
I will keep all of you in my prayers and that your aunt and uncle get the care they need. Hugs(())
We should know more tomorrow regarding whether the hospital is admitting either or both of them for medical issues, or whether DSS has found a nursing care facility that can take them. My uncle still believes that all of this "stuff" is happening due to the "fraudulent billing system that he's 'figured out' and that no one else can 'figure out'!” No matter what happens, in his mind, it all stems from the "billing system." I am praying that a brain scan will be performed and that a psych evaluation will be completed that will bring answers to his major mental-health confusion, etc.
As I said in an earlier post, this has been a long journey, about 2 years long. I think we're now finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you to all who posted their thoughts and well-wishes. In the end, the blessing of my literally being "flat on my back" recovering from spine surgery, was that my husband and I did not (nor were able to) attend the hearing on Thursday. This placed the responsibility of their needs back on the shoulders of DSS, who we know are understaffed and overworked, but were finally able to legally act on behalf of my relatives.
In another hearing (a month ago), the judge ordered that home health be provided. While that sounded like a great thing, it was placed on the V.A. doctor to get it into place. Getting this took over three weeks, and since my uncle is the Veteran and not my aunt, the nurse can only come to check on him. When she came almost a week ago, my uncle was very unhappy. He thought a nurse would come and “babysit” his wife so he could go do his own things—visit the bank, “pay bills” (which is really just arguing with the poor customer service that the bills are fraudulent and he won't pay them), etc. When he found out they were only coming to check his blood pressure, pulse, lungs, heart, etc., he told them to go away.
I am having back surgery in June. Both my husband and I have been very clear with the Social Service employees, the guardian ad litem, and the lawyer for my uncle that something has to be done ASAP. We will not be able to hop into a vehicle and drive the 30+ minutes to their home while I am recovering. My husband will be my primary caregiver and that’s what he wants to be free to do for me.
We will see what happens on June 4 and when most likely we'll return on June 7th. Thank you to everyone who has commented and assured me of your care and prayers. We need them.
The guardianship would remain in place the rest of aunt's life unless it is contested and approved to be another by the court. If court orders guardianship to the state, then tax payers would pay for it. Aunt would be entitled to half of their assets which it sounds as if there isn't much.
It sounds like he needs help so hopefully this is a good thing.
Does his son know about the meeting?
Let us know what happens.
Has son tried to get care for his mother and been rebuffed by the fatber?
They both obviously need 24/7 care, I pray they get good help. Be an advocate for them if you can at hearing and if you are willing try to get Durable POA and Durable POA for health & mental health. If the state takes guardianship it is almost never a good thing, professional guardianship is a major issue for seniors. They can charge for everything until the seniors are completely broke, then put them in a hell hole facility and just disappear. Not trying to freak you out just inform you.
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