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My dad had a stroke last year and has been in a skilled nursing home ever since. I live 3000 miles away, and have for 40 years, so my sibling is taking care of my father’s estate and care. He attends the virtual doctors appointments, fields all the calls, transport for live appointments and care of his home. My dad has a financial advisor and accountant who oversee his financials. My sibling has POA. I go home every couple of months now to see my dad and help where I can. I want to compensate my sibling for all the time spent helping our dad since I feel there isn’t much I can do living so far away. But how does one calculate a fair amount?

Call around for what the market rate is for the services your brother provides and then double it. We should always pay family more, it shows our appreciation for them.

I want to say, thank you for seeing your brother and what he is doing! Well done, keep up the good work!
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Grandma1954 Jun 19, 2024
not sure doubling the pay would be a good idea if there is ever a look back or a need to show expenses.
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What does the POA say? Does it allow brother to be paid from Dads finances.

Call Dads accountant. Ask him what it feels would be a good amount.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Isthisrealyreal Jun 19, 2024
JoAnn, if it is not POA duties, which nothing I saw is, it doesn't need to be in the POA.

He is looking to pay brother for other services, not POA duties. IME, this is vastly different than the fiduciary responsibilities covered under POA laws and why people become slaves when given POA, they misunderstand their actual duties and being a personal assistant is not one of them on any POA I have ever seen.
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I honestly don't know what the POV says. I'm not sure dad had a provision for that. Who would I call to ask this question to?

I just feel it's out of balance and want my brother to know I appreciate his efforts. Of course, it has lessened now that the crisis part is over, but it's always in play. I didn't know if there was some formula for "what fair is".

Appreciate the advise.
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I would attend an elder care attorney in the area Dad is being cared for.
It is crucial to get things right.
For instance, saying "shared living expenses" for help with mortgage or rental is not counted taxable while "rental" is.
Get it done right; costs money. Costs money because it SAVES money.
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