When I need to take off my Mom's wet nightgown off, she'll say, "Don't hurt me" no matter what I do. My Mom refuses to wear disposable underwear and is unable to put the bedpan under herself. If I try to lift her to put her on the bedpan, she's very heavy, and I'm not sure if she's on it correctly.
Good luck!
It hurts to read about what you and her are going through, and in your case I really and honestly think the best option is what you are trying to do, get her into a nursing home, not so much to alleviate your load but more so for her comfort and so people that are able and trained to care for elderly in her condition do so. I think she may feel better, while still counting on you visiting her and reminding her that no matter where she is you are there always loving and caring about her.
With your explanation I now see clearly that any movement likely hurts her, poor thing! And it also hurts you physically and emotionally to see her in that condition and to try to move her and lift her when that exceeds your capabilities. I truly wish you luck finding a place for her soon, and that that place really comes as a help and the blessing you both need. A hug and don’t lose hope, even when is difficult!!