I have an 84 year old widowed uncle who doesn’t have any children. When he dies he wants to leave everything to charity. I told him that is fine but I just need to know where the paperwork is to make sure his wishes are carried out.
The only paperwork I have that is up to date is his medical directive. He has an outdated Will that I told him he needs to update immediately as the ones listed as executors are deceased. (He may think I am a nag but I am just organized)
He is currently in great health but I know things may change.
I ask him questions like if he ends up in the hospital how will his bills get paid etc. I have no answers. I have nothing to gain just want to help as I know the work involved after settling my mom’s estate. I told him that I don’t have to be listed on anything but he needs to have a plan in place. I live on one coast and he is on the other. I call to check on him a couple of times of week and fly home once or twice a year to visit him. I want to help so that the charity receives what he wants rather than the state but I can only do so much. I want to gather the answers and will present to him and he will do what he wants. I teased him when he told me when his wife died years ago he was told to update and I asked what has been the delay. He is retired. He has time. Lol
You need Medical and Financial powers of attorney and an advance directive. Burial plans (plot, prepaid funeral services and the like) are another idea.
Perhaps find an eldercare attorney near him and set up an appointment for him.
There is a neat little book called "Five at 55" about the 5 documents we all need in place by age 55. Send him a copy.
https://www.amazon.com/55-Essential-Legal-Documents-Need/dp/1610352580
Since you seem to be the one who keeps in touch, you are probably the best candidate as Executor and being assigned POA. But, leaving far away will cause problems. So better if he can pick someone close by. Even the lawyer.
Explain to him that having everything in place will make sure his wishes are carried out. If no Executor is listed then someone needs to become the Administrator. This person carries out the same responsibilities that the Executor does except the State determines who inherits. In Uncle's case it would be Siblings and if they are no longer alive then nieces and nephews, etc.
Good Luck
Iota of good information. I will try everyone’s suggestions and see where I get. I will try to get him to an elder attorney. I totally understand things can change in a second. I have asked him he has to go in things like if he goes in the hospital how will his bills get paid? Etc. I always say he doesn’t need to name me but he needs to name someone.
* I've heard of horrendous sad situations where a 'friend' for years did everything for his friend, 'as a friend,' and he was pushed out completely when she needed him the most since nothing legal was in place.
* He is putting off very important need. You likely know this. He will be like or a 'ward of the state' and assigned a stranger to manage all his affairs.
* You can only do what you can (do). gena
Place your name on Bank Records as beneficiary or Payee Upon Death, otherwise you or another family member will need to probate all affairs. So, you must ascertain if you are the next legal member of his family, no wife, no children, no siblings alive, and that he wants you.
If his mind is good then why is he not doing anything? You might want to leave your name with any neighbors as well, unfortunately I have seen this too often people desire their neighbors or some friend to come in and care for them, you might not know, but they do not give you access to any real decision making because they have someone else in mind. Now, problem is they use these people for years, the relatives run in and do not give not one ounce of Respect to those who were utilized, so you might desire to know, if he fails to acknowledge you, then he is very aware of what he is doing. Go about it another way, what all is he doing with his life and offer to meet any neighbors and friends in his life, you might find out more.
Interestingly enough, men are more apt to do this than women, so do not believe he is just waiting about. My father was offered our help (daughters) he declined all of us, and stayed with a "friend" who got it all and that was that. I did not contest as it was what he determined to do, so did he say this, no he got to visit, yet this end of life plan was made by him and her, and we were left out. So, if he does not give you anything does not mean he has not given it to another.
My guess is because he doesn’t want to. He tells me he will get to it. My response is you have been retired for over 30 years. When are you getting to it? You have time. Lol
Like you I have offered. That is all I can do. I can’t make him do something he doesn’t want to do. Only time will tell what happens.
While your uncle is living, your having a copy of his medical directive is a good start, but obviously getting his bills paid if he becomes incapacitated is also important, so telling him that if he doesn't put in writing his choice of who should handle his finances in the event of incapacitation, a county judge will likely assign someone to do that and that person could be well-paid from your uncle's assets -- telling him that my motivate him, but it sounds like motivating him has been futile, so far. Also, if a family member is willing to be executor, then without his written designation, the state or a county judge will choose such relative(s) per statutory priority, which your uncle may not prefer and maybe knowing that will motivate him. Maybe to make it easier for him, you could send him some fill-in-the blank DPOAs for finances and for health care and a "designated executor" update for his will, all that meet his state's requirements. Good luck.
As to the "state receiving his estate instead of the charity of his choice," that won't happen because he has at least three living relatives who, after his death and all bills are paid, would receive any remaining assets divided per his will, outdated or not, and/or the state's statutory guidelines, if necessary. But if his charity choice is in his will (whether or not designated executors are alive), then that charity should receive the share that he wanted it to receive, via probating his will or even via the affidavit process described above if his estate is eligible for that.
Best wishes in motivating your uncle.
If he does not have anybody with power of attorney for medical and financial, then the local courts will assign a legal guardian to act as his representative.