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My husband refuses to shower. He becomes combative if I try to encourage or coax him. I had an aide come and he was combative with her. Now he refuses to use toilet paper after a bm. Sometimes it takes me two days to get him to change from the soiled underwear.


I can’t take it anymore and I am placing him in a care facility next week. I am afraid they might decide not to let him stay if he continues this kind of behavior.


He was diagnosed with ALZ 8 years ago.

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Went through this with dad a couple of years ago. He took a swing at an aide, they shipped him to hospital for psych evaluation, got his meds adjusted and things calmed down.

Id suggest hubs get evaluated by his doc and medicated before the move. I don’t like the med route but when dementia gets bad there is really no other way. My dad is calm and at peace now, not a zombie, and the staff can care for him properly without fear of being assaulted.
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JeanVN Sep 2019
Thank you. That is encouraging.
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Sounds like it is high time to put him in a facility. They will know what to do with him which will probably involve medicines. I wish you the best as you move forward with this difficult decision.
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JeanVN Sep 2019
Thank you. He is going to a facility on Sep 3. I am anticipating problems.
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They have been dealing with this in so many ways. The way it is dealt with is usually medications. There is often a bit of experimentation to see which meds work best, which will keep him comfortable and calm but NOT send him to sleep. It sometimes takes a bit of work, but it does get done.
I have also seem cases where the person is BETTER removed from family where there can be a bit of frustration with wanting something done, etc. You will know how it is going as it goes along. Be ready to see some visits to doctor to get him on some medications to help with this transition.
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JeanVN Sep 2019
Thank you. I am hoping that he will adjust. As you mentioned, I want him comfortable and calm, but not sent to sleep.
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I’m sorry Jean that this is happening. I hope that they can help your husband settle down quickly and be more comfortable. Sending you a hug in this difficult time.
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JeanVN Sep 2019
Thank you. I am hoping the same the same thing.
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