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Parent living in unclean situation. Start of dementia and a hoarder..also is in bad health.

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I think you are on the right track. Make an appointment with the Department of Social Services or Human Services or whatever you state calls the "Welfare" department. Ask for a needs assessment for Mom. Sometimes appointments take a long wait. Be patient.

When the worker comes out for the assessment, it would be a good idea for you and one family member from the "other side." is there, so you hear the same thing, and also to clarify Mom's answers, if necessary. Often seniors claim they can do more than they can and assessor has to take their word for it unless they are told otherwise. ("Yes, Mom, you can make your own meals. But you've burned three pans in the last month, leaving the burners on.")

The county will then do anything from saying there is nothing for them to do, to giving you the name of an agency that will clean up the house, to suggesting placement in a care center. It depends on their budget, their policies, and your mother's qualifications. One very common recommendation at this point is to apply for Medicaid. Have you considered that?

Best wishes to your entire family. This sure is no fun, is it?
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Are the other kids in denial because they’re afraid THEY might have to take care of her in their home? Or, are they afraid they might get stuck cleaning up her place? Have you had a family meeting to discuss this? She is as much your mother as she is their’s and you have the right to call whomever you want to check her and her living conditions out. You don’t need sib’s permission.

If Adult Protective Services come out, they may send her to the ER to have her health checked. It’s difficult to say exactly what would happen— it’s based on what they would find. In any case, she will then be on their radar and they will make suggestions about what they think should happen.
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This question may have some similarities that could help with your situation.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-is-the-full-power-of-adult-protective-services-435018.htm
Wishing you a good outcome.
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What do you mean by SS - Social Services? Does your parent have a doctor?
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Yes she has a dr. But we feel she is unsafe in home however not all the kids are in agreement or they
Are really in denial tat she shouldn't be living in her home. Wondering if we called dss and they found home Not so much unsafe but gross, maybe is the word im looking for. Would they make her leave right then and there and if so where would she go? I feel she needs to be in a home and so does husband but we are having issues with the other kids. Someone suggested dss and we are just wondering what happens. I guess mostly to make arrangements .
are really in fe ball
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Are you referring to Adult Protective Services? It has to be an obviously unsafe situation before they will step in.
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