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DH is in a really nice MC where he gets excellent care. But he doesn't like the food or the fact that other patients are worse off than him. Those are his only complaints. No abuse, no neglect. He only wants to come home with me, which was not safe for either of us. No impulse control, rages, poor judgment calls.



Since he can't get his way, he's been starving himself, which leads to hallucinations and acting out. He also confessed that some of this was faked to get kicked out. So, he starts screaming like Tarzan and ends up in the E.R. (three times in two weeks), twice with a hospital admission to rule out UTI/pneumonia. Now he's in rehab b/c he's so weak from all of this. And eventually he'll have to go back to the MC because there is no other option. I'm dreading the whole thing because I'm afraid he'll get violent when he has to go back, or that he'll keep up the self-destructive cycle. He says if he can't live with me he just wants to be dead. I see him several times a week, send love notes, spend time at the facility and they are so good to him and really care. I don't know how to handle this. Any advice?

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Quite a manipulator isn't he? They all complain about the food, it is their hobby.

Sounds like he may need some psychiatric help, has this avenue been explored?

I really have no answers as there may not be any, the process may have to play out, it is out of your control, he is obviously the master of his own destiny.

So sorry about this situation, try and take care of you.
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My heart breaks for you. What a hard situation to be in. I'm hoping for you that it's all talk and that he'll somehow be more accepting of it next time around.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially after finding an excellent place for his care. Has he been seen by a specialist in geriatric psychiatry?
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Older age psychiatrist. This sophisticated strategic planning is not typical of uncomplicated dementia.
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