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What is fair compensation for roommates/live in?


A little background, my grandmother was in an assisted living and we found the care to be lacking. We then moved her to adult living complex that was all inclusive but we employed private care. So basically we were paying $4000 a month for no care through the facility but then another $3000 for private care. Her apartment was 45 mins from my house but several times I’ve had to go over there at 2 am because of varies mini disasters. After a little over a year of her living on her own, I realize that I needed to move her closer because I was too far to be hands-on with her care & to save money. Honestly, she’s still going strong at 88 and we couldn’t continue the way we were.


So here we are, we bought her a little house down the street and customized it to fit her mobility needs but she does not want to stay there at night alone. We still have the caregivers come in 6 hours a day. I’m there in the morning & checking through the day. Her medicine is on pill “hero” & I (or the caretaker) provide most meals.


Here’s my question: Since my grandmother does not want be there alone at night so we brought in somebody (A friend of one of our caregivers) who is retired, that was a caregiver but is in need of a place to live. Like I mean, she has been “sofa surfing” for a quite a while. It’s probably not the perfect fit but she needs a place and my grandmother wants a roommate. She has been provided a beautiful room and no expenses. Initially I thought she would provide her own food but as it’s worked out my grandmother has paid for that too. She’s able to come and go as she pleases, my only requirement is that she’s home at night and lets me know if she’s not going be home by 8 PM . She’s also supposed to provide 2 hours a day in care.. only meaning getting coffee, cleaning the cat litter box, letting the dog out or making breakfast. It’s really just living chores. When I calculated the trade, I calculated $15 an hour times two hours a day. So basically she’s been giving $900 in room & board compensation. The problem is that it’s hard to separate care from just her being there because she’s always hanging out with my grandmother if I add up actual chores that she does throughout the day we are right around the two hour mark.


Should there be any additional compensation? Any thoughts?

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It sounds to me like she is to be providing companion services which is not the same as aid.  Federal minimum wage laws are not the same as companion.   I would look on craiglist and see what a private room in a house in that neighborhood gets and then add on something for food.  My guess is it about even with the 900.  The important thing, imho, is to be upfront with arrangement and accept that your grandmother will deteriorate and you will have to change the arrangement.
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If she’s required to be there at night then she needs to be paid for every hour she’s required to be there. Room & board isn’t adequate compensation. The minute you “require” her to be there, she’s not just a roommate, she’s a household employee and legally must be paid.
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Please create a written employment document so that this doesn't become a mess if you have to extricate this person as so often happens (please read others' experiences on this forum). Have you vetted this person properly? Many a person can "present" as a real nice human but not be one in reality. There is always the possibility of financial abuse, as this is a crime of opportunity, easy to carry out and often not prosecuted because it is difficult. I our family's case the "very sweet and caring" caregiver had the elderly stroke victim change his PoA and his will. She took everything out from under him and his family and it was all legal since he was not formally diagnosed with cognitive impairment. After she drained him she disappeared and he had nothing left for his own care. Please go into the arrangement with this live-in with your eyes wide open. If your grandma has any impairment please have her tested by her doctor so that it is official in her medical records, and create a written employment document so that grandma is protected. FYI this makes her an employer and she will need to comply with employment laws of her state and withholding taxes, etc.
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She seems to have a lot of freedom. She really is not doing any caregiving, just chores. I also would consider her a roommate. At this point, she does no hands on. Now if there comes a time she does need to help Mom with bathing and toileting and more physical things, I would then consider compensating her.

I would impress on her that Mom is not responsible for her food. If its being cooked, one more person no problem but if she has certain things she likes but Mom doesn't then she should buy that and her toiletries.

You need to see a lawyer and have an agreement written as a roommate doing a few chores to offset the cost of room and board and being there at night. And at the time her responsibilities become more caregiving in nature a new contract will be written concerning responsibilies and compensation. I would also have a clause in there regarding if Mom passes or needs to be placed in a facility that she will need to find other housing within 30 days. She will not be allowed to remain in the house. There have been horror stories on this forum where they cannot get rid of a live in caregiver. One moved her whole family in. I may also put a clause no pets, no over night people staying.

I would also make sure anything of value is removed from the house. That includes checks and credit cards.
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worriedinCali Aug 2020
Slavery is illegal and no lawyer will draw up the contract you suggest. The “roommate” has to be paid. Period. Per the OP she’s required to be there at night. She’s not a roommate. She’s a household employee.
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