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My mother has Parkinson’s disease and recently she could not get up from the bedside commode.


She has been declining for some time now, being very slow and rigid movements. But never has it taken her an hour to get up off the commode.


So of course I was very concerned. After she was finally able to reach her bed and rest I called her neurologist and he said to get her to the emergency room.


I called an ambulance and followed in my car. They kept her for several days in the hospital doing all sorts of tests, a little bit of physical therapy towards the end of her stay. No UTI, no stroke, no heart issues, etc. They tested her cognitive function. That was fine as well.


They recommended treatment in a skilled nursing facility to gain strength to which I totally agreed with. She has been there for a few weeks.


It’s an older nursing home but the skilled nursing rehab section is very good. Some people on staff leave a lot to be desired. I was hoping for the best but the nursing homes in our area are not the best facilities.


I completely realize that they are understaffed, have a very demanding job, underpaid, etc, but I do expect them to do a reasonable job in caring for the residents. I do appreciate everything they do well. The social worker is wonderful to work with. I recently had an update from the social worker about her progress. She is willingly doing all of her physical therapy. She has been tested for cognitive skills also. The social worker says her cognitive skills are great for someone her age. (93)


The social worker says she is making progress with physical therapy in all areas except for balance which is common for Parkinson’s patients to have issues with which is why she uses a walker. She is now needing more help with dressing, toileting, getting in and out of bed and so forth.


My concerns are my mom only takes very few meds. She has always been and still is extremely accurate and aware of the dosages of her medication.


She has a system where she places the correct pills out at the appropriate times of the day and in the home they were giving meds precisely according to her doctor’s prescribed amount.


The major complaint I have is mom told me last night they gave her two of her Sinemet, Parkinson’s meds at one time and she immediately pointed out that she takes one and the next dose is four hours later.


She said they told her to take both pills to which she questioned why, the response the woman gave was so she wouldn’t have to come back again later.


So mom asked if it would hurt her to take two pills at a time and she said no. Mom took it as she was told but it bothered her.


Needless to say, I am not happy about that answer at all. That is her job to give meds as they are prescribed. She wasn’t on duty when I was there so I didn’t address it at that time. I asked mom if she saw her name tag and she said no. I wish I had her name.


When I got home I called my local pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist and she said if it happened one time that mom should be fine but she should have given it as prescribed and that she wouldn’t want it to happen again and also asked me to report it to the facility.


My friend who is a nurse told me awhile back that the staff takes liberties with meds that they shouldn’t and it always concerned her when her dad was in a home.


I was hoping we wouldn’t run into these issues. I felt terrible for mom because I told her when she entered the home that they would take good care of her. I visit regularly to check on her.


The other complaints I suppose are common. They don’t arrive to her room promptly to take her to the bathroom and they leave soiled diapers on for longer than they should. They use diapers overnight.


They also wouldn't give her a fresh cup to rinse her mouth after brushing teeth and she shares a bathroom with her roommate, plus the room next door to her. She didn’t know if anyone had used it. That isn’t sanitary.


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Every Medicaid approved NH must post the complaint procedure in a place where all can see, usually the patient lobby area.

Ask to see the centers formal complaint workflow if it is not there.

Usually the person filing the complaint must follow a “chain of command” that begins with the Director of Nursing. If not resolved after that step has been completed then it progresses to someone higher up.
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You are perfectly within your rights to call a care meeting for your mother. Insist that everyone who is involved in her care is there. Don’t accept excuses as to why the major players can’t be there.

Write down everything you told us. Names, dates and times help. Document what you were told and by whom. Most care meetings are 15 minutes, but don’t let them give you the bum’s rush. Stay calm. No opinions or accusations, only facts. Bring someone with you. I brought my daughter. She kept me centered and also took notes on what was said.

Ask for what they think should be done. Don’t let them tell you she needs a private aide. This suggestion makes me crazy. This is not a solution. When they tell you what their solutions are, document them. Schedule a follow-up for two weeks. If their suggestions are not being followed, then you contact your ombudsman after registering a formal complaint with the LTC Administration.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Thanks, that helps. This is new to me. First time mom is in a skilled nursing rehab facility. She’s done home health before.
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The medication issue is a HUGE problem, if they are doing that to your mom you can be sure they are doing it to others, and with many medications the doubling up or mistiming of doses may not be so benign. There are no acceptable shortcuts in medication management, you need to make a formal complaint IN WRITING, and follow this all the way up the chain of command.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Thanks cwille, actually your answer matches what my local pharmacist said. She was disturbed that the incident occurred and said what you did. That it happens more than we know about. So, according to my pharmacist, you are right on track.
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Has anyone else dealt with wrong dosages of meds? Just curious about how it was handled. My mom is concerned about being mistreated afterwards. Upsetting. No one likes to complain. It’s uncomfortable to do so but this is a safety issue.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Mikkimball,

She takes the same meds and supplements as she does at home. She only has three prescriptions which are Atorvastatin, for stroke prevention along with baby aspirin, Dilantin, for seizures, and Sinemet for Parkinson’s disease. The rest are supplements and vitamins. She takes a senior multi vitamin, Calcium, Cod liver oil, biotin, vitamin B-12.

She hasn’t had a seizure since 1996.
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At Moms facility the chain of command on each floor was CNA, LPN (med nurse), RN charge nurse. The building then had a DON (director of nursing) the RNs reported to. You need to figure out who these people are at your facility, and take this up immediately with the RN, including the LPNs halfassed reason for the LPN intentionally not following the dosing. Not acceptable. I sometimes witnessed meds being passed late some days due to absenteeism etc, but never would her LPNs do what yours did.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Rocket,

This answer helps. It’s baffling to me how these things happen. Overworked? Underpaid perhaps? Still not a valid excuse. What if it were their mother? It’s upsetting. I know mom says the physical therapists are terrific. Never leave them alone while exercising or anything like that.

She said in her room the CNA left her one time in the bathroom alone. Just once but that’s all it takes for a fall. The falls terrify me. She has fallen at home and it’s horrifying for her and me.
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Usually the person to address these concerns to is the Director of Nursing (DON, for short).

Have you had a care meeting since mom got there? Be prepared for them to tell you that you mom doesn't know what she's talking about (but they've told you that her cognition is fine--point that out to them). The meds need to be given as prescribed. If the DOCTOR says it's okay to double them up, s/he needs to rewrite the prescription.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
The doctor ordered to be taken every four hours. They even read everything back to me concerning dosages before they admitted her to the nursing home. So, I thought we were good to go. Made a good impression on me that they read all the info aloud to me. That’s why I was surprised to see this occur.

They know mom is agreeable because they all tell me she cooperates so well but she did speak up. Why ignore her like that?

I don’t know how to feel because my brothers and I have been polite and friendly with the entire staff and residents. Even her roommate who plays the television so loud!

They have been very friendly to us so I wasn’t expecting this to happen.
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When I am there to see mom but I don’t interfere with their jobs. I have shown respect and trust in them. So it is disappointing to see mom treated this way.

Like I said, the meds are the big issue. Not crazy about them not giving her a fresh cup to rinse her mouth with either. I wouldn’t want to rinse my mouth after brushing my teeth with a used cup if someone else may have used it.

Small issues with laundry. Leaving her unattended once in bathroom isn’t good either. Diapers on too long is bad for her because her skin is breaking down. We’ve had to do the duoderm patch before with barrier cream. Nothing is perfect. Doesn’t have to be with most things but meds, that’s serious.
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rocketjcat Jul 2019
Regarding leaving her alone in the bathroom,,,,if she shouldn’t be left alone, that should be on her care plan. My Mom couldn’t be left alone on the toilet, either myself or a CNA had to stay with her. (If I was there, I always volunteered to stay since they were busy, and who knows how long mom would take.) But her Roomie (1 assist) just needs help to get in and seated, but she can pull the cord herself when she’s done, and the aid will come back then to get her off. So each case is different. If she’s a documented high fall risk or questionable if she’d pull the cord correctly, or not supposed to be left alone, you need to get that on her care plan.
I can’t speak about the drinking cup process (Mom and roomie both had dentures so there was no rinsing going on) but that sounds just disgusting. Good grief I don’t even used my DHs cup. Do they actually use glass cups? Or styrofoam? Can you put her name on it? Or bring in a package of small Dixie cups for the bathroom for both of them to use? That also needs to go up the ladder to the RN.
And there should be a documented “toileting” schedule. (They call it toileting, even if it just means a change of pull-ups.) Mom was on a 2 hour check, although I think it really happened more like every 3-4 hours honestly. In other words she had to put on the toilet, and/or her pull-ups checked. Of course if she said she had to go in between those checks, they would take her. Again see what is documented on her care plan with the RN.
I was with my Mom 4 hours a day for 2.5 years...I saw a lot, learned a lot, and got comfortable with her care, which was good, but not 100% perfect. They’re definitely was a learning curve for everyone at the beginning. They got comfortable with me and knew what I expected, and I spoke up when something wasn’t right. So these are all just little signals that you have to be vigilant. My motto was Pleasant, Positive, Persistent.
One more thing...jumping from complaints with a CNA or LPN right to the DON won’t make you any points with the RN who you’ll have to deal with very often. Go up the ladder appropriately and you’ll be better off in the long run. If she doesn’t address the issues appropriately then for sure, up the ladder you go.
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I find it interesting but I am sure not uncommon that mom is being so agreeable with the staff. She wants to get better so she is working extra hard in physical therapy. The staff says she is giving her all without complaining.

Shocking to me because I know how hard they are working her and she is 93! Although she worked hard with home health when they came after her falls.

The trouble is she doesn’t practice her exercises after they leave like they tell her too. You know how parents are with us, their kids. They tell us they are too tired to do it and feel they don’t have to listen to us as much or impress us.

I’m extremely proud of the effort that she is putting into her physical therapy.
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texasrdr22 Jul 2019
The not exercising after rehab is pretty common. My mother broke her hip at 88 and I made sure she went to "boot camp" rehab after her surgery where they worked with them twice a day. She did well and worked hard to get better while she was there. When she was released to her home, no exercise was being done, no matter how much I pleaded or nagged. There was always an excuse: "my back hurts or I'm too tired". When she was in the rehab facility, I was there every day and either my brother or I spent every night there, so we had a real picture of what was going on. Meds were always late but one of us made sure she got the right medication and dosage. The bathroom part was not an issue as we were always there to take her when she needed to go so she did not have to wait long times for someone who works there to show up. Nobody should alter the dosage of your Mom's medication without doctor's orders. PERIOD.
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Please read my posts!! I put my mom in for PT, she’s dead within a month!
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Jewel,

I’m very sorry you are going through this nightmare. Just read your posts. Caring for a parent is an extremely difficult challenge. Your story is truly heartbreaking.
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Srate with the Ombudsmen for that facility. You will find the name of the Ombudsman posted in plain sight if you start to look in the glass framed notices. An Ombudsman is an impartial person who represents the residents and brings forth any concerns the family has to the Nursing facility. An Ombudsman was one of the stipulations that came out of the OBRA of 87 that put standards in place for Nursing Homes, (and Residents Rights). If you don't find it, and you should, the Ombudsman is probably there 2-4x a week walking up and down the halls speaking with the residents. I am a Nurse and one reason some Nurses will give medication early (not 2 of the same kind though) is because the resident wants to go to bed shortly after dinner and its difficult to administer ordered medication. They don't always wake up. Its a long day getting up at 7-8am. I'm not condoning this by any means I'm just offering an explanation. You could also check with the physician and see if a time change could be put in place. Elderly are early risers and may do well with a 6am and then 5pm. See if a dose adjustment could be made and incorporated. I'm not saying double the dose, MD will have suggestions. DON is only going to speak with Nurse maybe write her up. But the DON leaves at 3pm and cannot enforce. So Ombudsman and ask MD for his/her advice.
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Doesn't she wear an alert fob to press when she has an issue?
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
They don’t wear anything. They have a pull cord by the toilet and a button by the bed.
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overworked, underpaid but UNDERSTAFFED is the big issue. Every nursing home in every state is crying for CNA and Nurses for all shifts. Its a disaster. Your mom shouldn't be left on a toilet. The Nurses seem to finish earlier and could do things like stay in the bathroom with her, while the CNA is still running around changing full beds and briefs. No one want a fall (4 letter f word). A fall can be the be the beginning of the end. Some residents never fully recover, and the ones that do can have a rough road. And on a side note, I have the utmost respect for the family member, usually a daughter, who has a full time job, husband, grandkids, and is at the Nursing Home almost every day getting laundry, dropping off laundry,seeing if mom/dad has favorite tissue brand, snack etc. And this can go on for years!! God bless you all. It doesn't go unnoticed by Nursing Staff like me. I salute you!!
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Thanks Heidi,

I do mom’s laundry. They have large signs saying that the family will do laundry and they still took some of her clothes to wash and lost them. I went to lost and found and was able to retrieve items for her. I feel sorry for residents who don’t have family to speak up for them.
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Contact your Local Ombudsman Program for assistance
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You must address your concerns.Start with the nursing supervisor and explain to her what your mom told you.You have every right to do so.You are your mom's advocate.I had both my parents in SNF after strokes,and I had to address a few concerns.One such complaint went as far as the director of the facility.Heaven forbid something were to happen to your mom because of this nurse administering medicine not as prescribed.If she's doing this to your mom then it's probably happening to others.
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You are so right about staffing and care in nursing homes. We all need to clamor (to state and federal representatives) to do something about mandated staffing levels. Even the best long-term care homes don't have the staff they need. Imagine if your mom had dementia and couldn't communicate these problems to you!

Errors with meds is very serious. You should report this not only to the DoN in the facility but to your state Dept. of Health and county Ombudsman. They may try to say your mom "at her age" is probably unable to remember correctly, which you can rebut. Homes can lose licenses for medication errors, to say nothing of what might happen to the resident being over- or under-medicated. The facility has to keep a log of when meds are administered, and falsifying this is a huge no-no. Hard to prove but you should demand to see your mom's records, which you have a right to do.

And sharing a cup?? Also report the soiled diapers. Report all concerns to official bodies, not just to the facility, because these must end. While you're with your mom have the DoN come in to check your mom's skin for signs of beginning bedsores.

Thank heavens your mom has you. Good luck.
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thepianist Jul 2019
PS: I agree with rocketjob below that ideally we don't want to go over the heads of those on the ground level. But in this case I think you do need to go right to the DoN, the State Health Dept., etc. because you need to ensure that these errors stop IMMEDIATELY. You are right to compliment and report up the ladder good care and good aides, this goes a long way. Good aides will know that you aren't out to 'get' them. THEY know who the slackers are. I was a CNA and saw firsthand how some people cut corners, other never did. The state of staffing in long-term care homes is almost criminally inadequate. Just another national disgrace we aren't dealing with effectively.

Keep up the good fight!
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Think you need to start with the DON. He/She is the primary medical officer in a nursing facility. If nursing staff and patient care below good standards, DON needs to know.
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Google how to report a complaint for your state - usually under the licensing entity, such as dept of health. In New Jersey - https://www.state.nj.us/health/healthfacilities/file_complaint.shtml
Do not make excuses for the facilities’s operations - they mostly stem from organizational choices.
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agreeing with answers here. Med issues in my book is a major no-no. Of course one wonders about retaliation, but what if mom gets sick/has a reaction and winds up back in the hospital? Just not okay. Sounds like you may need to put an at-home plan in place if she is needing a bit more help. Check with your local office on aging, look into meals on wheels, etc.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
She’s coming home this week. I just hope I can handle it. She is requiring more care.
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This place sounds a lot like the crappy rehab my mother was in for 4 weeks. Maybe they are common problems, but here's just one of the common consequences my mother experienced from the crappy rehab: a small abrasion on her back was covered with a bandage regularly, until the skin around the abrasion developed irritation in the shape of the bandage. So the bandage was left off. Shared bathroom, hurried care, lack of communication--a small boil developed on the site, was treated with antibiotic cream. The boil was never emphasized to family as a serious concern and there were several other serious concerns going on, such as a biopsy. Over time the small boil turned into an abscess the size of my palm, directly on her spine--risk of bacteria infecting the bone or bloodstream which can lead to death! She said she had no pain in the area at all, just felt like a bruise when she lay on it. Fortunately she is now in a great memory residence with nurses 7 days and doctors on staff. The abscess was examined by a wound specialist and infection specialist (both on staff), treated with two oral antibiotics, dressing change twice per day, over a period of about 6 weeks. Happy ending, but this abscess totally derailed the plan to move her to my brother's town, so she is still in the wonderful memory residence in a state where no family members live. And it took 6 weeks to get a refund of $10,000 from the residence in my brother's state, where my mother never set foot. Also, it was likely the same colony of bacteria that gave me a painful boil on the groin area, just in time for another flight across the country to tend to mom. Title this horror story: IT CAME FROM THE REHAB! Lesson is, don't try to change the rehab--just get her out as soon as you can, to a better place.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Yes, it’s truly sad.
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Your situation is very typical of under-staffed facilities, but needs to be addressed asap because if a nurse is mismanaging her time and can't be bothered to come back later to give out meds to your mom at the proper time, then it's highly likely this is happening to other residents as well, and can end very badly for someone. I can't think of a single medication that wouldn't cause an adverse reaction if given improperly. That staff member is just being plain lazy and needs to be written up.

The first thing you should do is address the medication errors with the DON (director of nursing). If that doesn't fix the problem, then go to the director of the facility itself. The owner. It's very much within your mom's right to file a formal complaint, and if you/she has already followed proper protocol and used the proper steps up the ladder, the last place within the facility to get results in house is the facility director. Ask for an appointment to be schedule immediately to address your concerns, have your mom with you so that they and you aren't talking ABOUT her. SHE has a right to speak for herself first....so don't over-shadow your mom's voice. Be patient, yet firm, and support your mom's voice.

There may be a need for an ombudsmen to step in and help arbitrate, but give the facility time to rectify their own mistakes first. When/if the ombudsperson comes, they will work for/with your mom....not for/with you. Their job is to care for the resident. They will likely want you involved, but even if you are POA, that doesn't mean they'll let you speak FOR your mom. They need to hear it first hand what the concerns are, so it's best if your mom can voice them for herself. And since it sounds like your mom is perfectly capable of speaking for herself, you should let her do so as much as possible. If not, then you'll work with the ombudsperson in your mom's stead. If you haven't already done so, petition the courts to become her guardian at some point when you deem it necessary.

CNAs are hard to come by, so are skilled nursing staff, and they may just be so over-worked they have lost patience. But that's no excuse to cut corners, and the issues you mention need to be addressed, and fixed before something serious happens. They need to know you are aware of everything happening in their facility and will take the steps necessary to report what you have to report if they don't fix those things themselves.

One thing that can't be stressed enough; when you see any staff doing things right, tell them how much you and your mom appreciate them. At my facility we have a thing called Kindness Karma. We celebrate staff members who really pull their weight. A pat on the back is often all it takes to give a tired, over-worked staff member one more breath to get through their shift....and want to come back for the next, and the next.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Yes, I agree and I have been very kind to them. Some are wonderful, the physical therapist are fantastic. All have demanding jobs for sure.
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Only the patients with clarity, like your mom, identify the medication problems. The others get meds at wrong times, totally wrong meds, etc because they don't really know what they take or when. If you want the problem addressed, put it in writing - date and time it happened - and send it in. Verbal communication is only that and he said/she said/they never said. Trust me. For future, tell your mom to call you immediately while person in the room with medicine - that person will definitely start paying more attention when they figure out your mom is sharper than they think. Let your mom know that it is ok to refuse to drink out of a glass found in a shared bathroom - again, tell her to call you when it happens.
On the diaper subject - include that in your written letter. You expect them to work on the bathroom training while she is there so she does not regress in that department. Because that is exactly what will happen. Next time she needs to go to bathroom, tell her to call you - then push the button and start the time clock. It is very common for them to leave patients 30 min to an hour knowing full well they cannot hold it that long. Once you start peeing in your pants regularly, it's hard to reverse it.
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anoni0000 Jul 2019
That's a fantastic idea! I'd like to see the look on the nurse's face when that happens.
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Completely unacceptable. This needs to be reported to the state as Med Errors are fineable offense. Contact your local aging and adult care agency. I would also talk with the Director of Nursing at the facility So they are not blindsided. Do both... it will be up to the facility to own up to wrongdoings.

Don’t worry that mom can’t remember their name. When a med tech dispenses medication, they have to sign their name to the MAR showing they completed the task. There is always a paper trail to hold people accountable depending on what you state and local laws are regarding elderly care.

In reference to call response times, this can vary according to case load in rehab facilities as well as what the care staff are having to deal with with each resident. I would recommend you ask the Director of Nursing to take a look at the call response log from the computer to see what their times are for your mom. Remember, your mom’s care should always be readily available to you if you are the Durable Power of Attorney.

I hope this helps.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Thanks so much. Useful information.
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I tried the State Ombudsman with my mom, meeting with DON, nurse supervisor, and Executive Directive and was not satisfied with results. Executive Director was in denial and demeaning to me. After the meeting, the State Ombudsman told me to "pick my battles" . We did fear retaliation when complaining, but it had to be done. The best results I received is when I called the owner and left a message complaining about the toilet seat with feces that wasn't clean. Why did i do that, because very difficult to get RESULTS with the concerns. It was cleaned, after that all the time, but then the CNA's started to change her in the bed instead of her walking to the bathroom.
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As the caregiver for a Parkinson’s patient, their medicine regimen is crucial. It must be given On Time, Every Time. Patients at home set alarm clocks so they take their medicine exactly on time. Doubling your Mother’s dose is dangerous, and also that means that 4 hours later, when there is none in her system, she pays a penalty again - so she gets a double whammy! That nurse should be ashamed of herself for being so lazy. Your Mother has the right to refuse the second pill until the correct time. She would probably have to tell them when it was time, though. I’m sorry she went through that. A double dose and then a missing dose could have put someone in the ER that was further along in the disease.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Becky,

Believe me when I say that I was upset. Very upsetting to have her double dosed.
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Forget it!. They will kill you in retirement homes of Indiana.

https://www.change.org/p/department-of-justice-investigate-the-death-of-my-father-prof-mario-lagunez-guevara
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Sad.
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I had several meetings with the Ex. Dir. of the facility along with the Asst. Dir. of the facility, and the DON of the facility where my mom was for more than a year, and things didn't improve.  When we had the last meeting with the Ombudsman in attendance, I flat told them if anything happened to my mother while she was in their care, that that would be that.  Twenty-one days later to the day my mom received her first assault and battery, then less than a week later, her second battery.  I contacted Medicare and was told what State agencies I needed to contact, and I did.  Now it is in the hands of an attorney.  I have the pictures, police reports, and medical from her hospitalizations over all of this.  It is not a pretty site.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Yeah, my godmother was constantly bruised. When we asked why she had bruises they said they had to fight with her because she wouldn’t cooperate due to her ALZ. So sad. She was in an awful home. I hated going there but her children could not care for her at home. She had to be in a facility until she died.
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I would speak with the admistrator of the facility regarding your concerns. Each state and county of each state has a department of aging. Should you see no results within the facility, your next step should be to contact the county area of aging and request to speak with the ombudsmen regarding the issues. Additionally, the state department of health is another avenue to report your concerns. Remember though no facility is perfect so be mindful in reporting concerns understanding that it's an institutional setting, not a private residence. Also it is not uncommon in older adults to have a decline following a hospitalization hence the purpose of skilled rehabilitation.
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I know you have been caring for your mom for a long long time, and having her "away" for a bit probably seems like a bit of a respite... But I am curious why not have her at home with in-home OT/PT?

If my mother didn't have dementia (among other issues) I would have been more likely to take her in (we moved her to MC.) Clearly your mom is still in the here and now (not so with my mother - she sometimes questions or groans at pill time, but would have no clue what they were giving her!)

Having already had a medication issue (along with lesser but still concerning issues), if it we me I would take her home and have the doc order home PT. That way you don't lose clothing, have fresh drinking vessel, have timely bathroom breaks/changes AND proper medications. In addition, you would probably be more likely to get some "after-PT" compliance, so she practices with your encouragement (make it exercise class for both of you!)

After a couple of minor non-injury falls, our mother is refusing to even stand, much less walk with her walker. The doctor ordered OT/PT and she REFUSES to do ANY work with them, even told them THEY should do what she is being asked to do! As a result, she's being discharged from OT/PT. When I say you should walk, she lies and says she does, yet refuses to get up and is sitting in her transport chair. Be proud of your mom for working hard to get better and let her know how great she is doing!!!

As for lost items, laundry is included in mom's "rent", but I mentioned it before and again recently after being told mom needs bras - whaaat? She moved in with multiples and I picked up some more last year... I found AT LEAST 8 of them in the second drawer of her dresser. Apparently no one knows how to open a drawer. The problem I have is clothing I have never seen, which are not likely hers, show up in her drawer. They insist that each person's laundry is done separately... I think not. I have no idea who owns these items or I would give them back. Biggest laundry issue = washing her hearing aid!!! I didn't task them with managing it when she moved in, just mentioned that battery needs to be changed every two weeks. I would come to visit, it might be in her ear, and if not it might be on the end table, in the bed, on the floor. I would find it and check - sometimes battery ok, sometimes not. Those times she was wearing it, often it would be dead. Clearly they were not changing the battery. Even worse is not checking sheets before laundering - MANY things could end up in the bed - in her case, tissues, which can make a mess in the washer/dryer. So, her hearing aid went through the laundry. :-( Finally found a new, local provider (the other never responded), bought a new pair ($2700+) AND since it is rechargeable, I tasked them with this. Take it at night and charge it, return it to her in the morning. I knew if I left the charger with mom, it would disappear. Not even TWO weeks goes by, I get email saying the thing is MIA. Seriously??? She only wears one, so we had to scramble to prep the second one and get it to her. I am STILL waiting for word on how they will handle this. I understand things can get lost, damaged, etc, but TWO WEEKS??? We cannot afford to buy another set, especially every two weeks....

Anyway, NeedHelpWithMom, would you consider bringing her home and get the OT/PT at home? Also, did you ever hire some help so that you get a break now and then?
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Justme44 Jul 2019
I understand your suggestion but sometimes in patient PT is really best and necessary. In your case I had same thing happen with hearing aid. Except my moms was lost at hospital. Can't afford to replace it. I hope they work it out so it isnt lost anymore. If they took it each night and gave in a.m. it should not be issue. Unless they were not even doing that. Best of luck.
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Hi.... I didn’t read the entire message... but, enough....when it comes to addressing nursing home care, I will share my experience.
we cannot escape the nightmare of having a loved one in a nursing home. Sooooo many things done poorly and fear that the staff will take it out on your loved one.
i wrote a great letter to the Dept of Health in charge of nursing homes. I had legitimate complaints... I wrote everything down and spared them nothing. I told nobody I was doing this and really didn’t care they would find out it was me. What happened was a very unexpected visit from a person who inspects nursing homes but this time there was no notice to staff. As far as retribution... I met with the CEO of this nursing home and believe me, if I heard one complaint from my mom that she wasn’t cleaned up when needed and not waiting an hour. The nursing home was going to limit the # of diapers a day and when I heard this... I said over my dead body. My mom was to have as many as she need and I wanted a case in her bedroom so they would be available.
Tell none of your complaints but write a letter to dept of health and human service and let them know everything and a lawyer if needed would continue with all complaints.
my mom was treated much better and I was there a lot to be sure...it is their job and responsibility to care for patients... a lot of time is wasted with lazy underpaid people... that’s the big problem so complain over their heads... it is a necessity....
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2019
Good advice, thanks.
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Get one of those small long time tape recorders and a camera.
Make sure they're being seen by staff. That will get their attention
and straighten things out shortly.

Nov '12 I had Chron's and ruptured my colon, nearly died. In a coma 21 days.
Hosp another 2 weeks, then 9 weeks in a N/H. First month I didn't care if I lived or died and would have been a whole lot easier to die. They'd left my belly open to rinse me out 3-4 times a day. That had to heal from the inside out. Finally I realized it wasn't going to get better until I wanted it to. I couldn't even stand up without help. The PT worked with me til I could walk well enough again to come home with home care an hour a day.

The last place you want to go is a lousy N/H! My two main complaints were the air mattress's would never stay up and leaked off. I'd roll from it down between the bed and side rail where i couldn't reach the pull cord.

They didn't care if or when pill time came. I'd pull the cord and wait, maybe they'd come in maybe not at all. No way to repeat the call. They'd come sneaking in real quietly with soft rubber soles and if my eye's were closed, they'd turn the light off and leave without checking with me. I had to be constantly watching to catch them coming in, if not no service regardless of what I needed.
Complaints had no effect on anyone.

I got thru it and home, had around 25 more surgeries since. Still doing ok and living alone at 75.

Those recorders and a camera WILL get their attention fast. Whether you use them or not. I'd take a picture of all staff and get their names so your Mom can ID them when something isn't right.

Good luck
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Justme44 Jul 2019
Glad your home now! Sounds like horrible place. Theses places need better regulations and more extensive checks on emplyees. Its ridiculous how understaffed they are for the amount of patients. Real change is needed or only going to get worse.
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