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My husband had a stroke a couple of years ago and a knee replacement 6 months later, Although he can walk (very slowly) he is quite week, especially in his knees and legs. Last night he fell off his bed, he was not hurt, but because of his week knees he cannot help himself up. He has osteo-arthritis, and suffers much back ache. So to pick him up on my own was a big mission as he is a dead weight. He has fallen before and most times I am alone with him. I am 69 years old, healthy but not very fit. How can I pick him up without hurting myself as well. We've tried using chairs for him to pull or push himself up but that does not help much.

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A physical therapist consult is in order; ask your husband's MD for one. THAT SAID there is NO way that you can get up a person without injury alone. You should call the Fire Department and ask if they have an emergency lift team. You should ask the doctor if he knows of one. Enlisting the help of neighbors leaves them open to injury as they attempt to help, and you and your husband open to lawsuit.
You may know that you are facing a coming time when you cannot do this alone. I am so sorry, but an injury to you will put you out of commission. I am stuck life long with the "Old Nurse's Back". There is really no way to move even smaller people, over time, without sustaining an injury. I don't know a single nurse without the "back thing". You can't afford that. Your husband, wherever he has to live, needs you whole and there for him. I am so sorry. Wish I had more for you.
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Susarah Aug 2020
Thank you AlvaDeer
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Do not lift him.

If there's no Falls Response or similar service near you, have a look online and you will see the kind of equipment used to lift patients safely. It is not prohibitively expensive, but you would be foolish to buy one and use it without at least asking an occupational therapist or physical therapist to show you how to do it properly.
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Susarah Aug 2020
Thank you Countrymouse. I will see our Docter for prescription for an equipment, I am sure our Medical aid will cover the costs.
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Ditto to do not lift them yourself!

Here is how they can help themselves to get up, if possible:

https://seniorsafetyadvice.com/how-to-lift-the-elderly-off-the-floor/

If you think he will continue to roll off the bed, you may want to consider getting a lower bed for him, or putting his mattress on the floor, just like they do in nursing homes.
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Susarah Aug 2020
Thank you Geaton777. I will look in at the link you sent.
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After we got a Hoyer Lift, it became easy to lift my husband off the floor if he fell off the bed. Just roll a sling under him, position the lift, and crank him up. Before that, we called 911 each time for a non emergency lift assist.
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Susarah Aug 2020
Thank you JuliaRose. Will get a lift for him as well.
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I had trouble with Luz sliding off of the mattress onto the floor. I helped her up only once and from then on I called for assistance.
I finally built her a platform to give her something solid to put her feet on when getting up.
Mattresses are so high these days and Luz was only 4'10". The platform helped greatly. only once after that did she fall and that resulted in a trip to the ER because she hit her head and was bleeding. I feel like I actually transformed into superman because I was able to get her up and dressed enough to get her to the car.
The platform was only 4 and a quarter inches high but that difference a world of difference to us.
I thing one could be constructed with a rail or grab bar set into it. I was planning one until things started really going down hill.
If this is not reasonable for you than continue calling emergency services, please.
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Susarah Aug 2020
Thank you OldSailor. Yes I also felt I was transformed into Superwoman lifting my husband up. Luckily I did not hurt myself, except for a bit of strained muscles. Will try to get him a lifter through our medical aid.
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Never pick up dead weight. You can do so much damage to ur back.

As Old Sailor said, mattresses are very high. I was able to buy a 5 in boxspring which helped lower my bed but mattress is still high. I recommend you look into a hospital bed for hubby. They have sides and now go down to the floor.

With my Mom she liked the twin mattress that was on one of the bunk beds she had. It was only 6 in high. I bought her a 5 in boxspring. There are bedrails that are only 18 in wide that slide under the mattress. It can be positioned to help a person not fall out of bed. Great in helping them pull themselves up to a sitting position and helping them stand.

I would hope ur husband is using a walker. Even in the house. You can get a therapist "in home" to show him how to get around the house with it and adjust it for his height.
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911 for a non emergency lift assist.. In my area there is no charge for this and they have never been condescending or sarcastic. Very helpful, friendly and competent people.
However, it will get your neighbors attention if the bring the high lift ladder truck that takes two drivers plus an ambulance.
I enjoy the looks of the gawking neighbors faces myself.
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Rafaela Aug 2020
My friend who is a fireman assured me that they do not mind helping with the fall assist calls at all.
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I have a lift on the ceiling with rails. With the lift, I can take care of my father by myself. My uncle has a pulley system he made, so he can lift himself out of bed into a wheelchair.
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It helps to have a neighbor who is strong and healthy. It happened to me twice when I was caring for a lady that couldn't use her legs to stand up. Once she just fell backwards on the carpet from her wheelchair and the other time she just didn't have her right foot against Minoans she just went straight down to the floor. We had to get her doctor to order a lift after that.
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Here were I live (Florida) there is a service called LIFT. They come to your house and Lift the person off the floor and the assess whether or not that person needs to go to Hospital. No charge.
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graygrammie Aug 2020
What a wonderful service!
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A Boyer lift will be your best friend! 😉
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”Hoyer lift” phone autocorrected...
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2020
I have a stupid smart phone too.
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You have received some excellent advice here. I can only share my own experience. My husband's primary physician prescribes home health care, which started because of a fall. No injuries, but she felt physical therapy would help. He was evaluated by a nurse first, who then wrote a protocol for him. He has been receiving care in home since March. It has included physical and nursing. I say all this to add, it was part of this care to have a wheelchair, bedside potty, toilet assist rails and a walker. All of this was covered with our medicare and supplement. Sometimes the medical professionals aren't sure what you can get, such as, I wanted a transport wheelchair, not a standard one. This is where you need to get involved and not just accept what they say (they are not at fault, how can they possibly know what all insurances cover?) but talk directly to the supplier. I also had already purchased a bed rail, which helps him from falling out of our bed.
I cannot stress the use of physical therapy. I hope your primary orders this right away.
And, as others say, don't hesitate to call 911, as a non emergency. My friend did this over 10 times for his wife, who was bedridden from cancer. They were helpful and polite. She passed this past Saturday, he called the local fire station to let them know. The chief called back, offering condolences from the crew.
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disgustedtoo Aug 2020
Better to look up and have on hand the non-emergency number rather than using 911. Use 911 if there was an injury, for sure, but if it is just a simple tumble, no injury and you just need assistance helping someone up, by all means, call the non-emergency number to request help. This way you don't tie up the emergency line (maybe not a big issue for larger areas with many dispatchers, but in smaller towns, there may only be one dispatcher on duty.)
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My mother used a hospital bed with half rails and a trapeze for many years. That pretty much eliminated the possibility of falling out of the bed. I always stationed her walker next to the bed so that she could reach it easily to help herself stand up once she was upright. In later years, as she got weaker, I'd hold the walker steady for her while she stood up. Having a hospital bed also allowed me to adjust the bed height to be most compatible with her needs as time went by.

When she had falls that were not bed-related, I'd call our local government's non-emergency number, and the EMTs would pick her up for me, as she was much too heavy for me to handle. They never charged for this service.

I never tried using a Hoyer lift - I watched several instructional videos when I contemplated getting one, and it was just too intimidating of a process for me. It seemed to me that the safest way to use it would be with two people, and I was alone with her most of the time. But that's just me, and it may not be the same for you. (As it turned out, when Mom went to long term care, she hated using the Hoyer, saying it was too painful.)

I hope this helps. Best wishes, and I hope you find a solution that works for you and your husband.
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Unless the house is on fire, DO NOT, under any circumstances, try to get him up by yourself, no matter how much he yells and demands that you help him up.

I know a lady who tried to help her husband out of the bed and he fell, pulling her down with him, severely injuring her back.

He needs some good, regular PT and also needs to be using a rollater or walker.
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Hi
Don’t hurt yourself! You can call 911 and ask for a “lift assist”. They will send either ambulance and/or fire department employees to help
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You can’t. This is what 911 is for.
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InFamilyService Aug 2020
Absolutely, I agree.
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Please talk to your doctor to get a prescription for physical therapy for your husband and maybe for yourself too. He needs to be able to get off the floor himself. Usually, when we have a very heavy client on the floor, it takes 2 - or more - care providers to help him/her up. Sometimes you can rent medical equipment, such as the Hoyer lift - that others are recommending. Then, you can try them out before committing to having one long term.
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Shecargre1 Aug 2020
I’m sorry but that is not good enough. I have had to many people tell me the same thing. My husband just does not have the strength despite P.T. And no one else in the healthcare system will help with answers or real suggestions
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To the people here suggesting calling for a LIFT from EMT, FD, etc., how do they determine if elderly LO has a broken bone and has to go to hospital?  I am afraid to call for LIFT as I am concerned they will have no choice but to take mom to hospital. TIA
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InFamilyService Aug 2020
They are trained to do a simple assessment. My dad fell many times and not once was he transported to the hospital.
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Do not attempt to lift him by yourself. Call Fire and Rescue. They are able and willing to get elders up from a fall plus they can do an assessment to determine if there is an injury.
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My mother falls a lot from losing her balance. We call 911 and the send out EMT’s. They have been to our house several times. We also make a donation to the EMT service for the help they have given us.
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Alee123 Aug 2020
The same thing happened to us. My mother fell and my husband and I working together couldn't get her up. We called 911. EMT came and got her up and patched her cut. Now, she always uses the walker with my husband behind her and me in front.
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A few years ago, while I was visiting my mother in the nursing home, I visited a man down the hall who, at most, could move only in a wheel chair, but was otherwise confined to his bed. I would guess that he weighed over 300 lbs, and when he started to roll out of bed, the most I (at barely 145 lbs.) could do was to sit on the floor and keep him propped up so he didn't come crashing down. We were able to summon help, and it took 2 or three aides to get him back up. This man (who, in his mid-60s, was fine mentally, which made him frustrated about having to live there) seemed somewhat irritated that I couldn't have gotten him up all by myself, but I believed it was safer to keep him in a stable position than risk his slipping down!
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i have a single blow up bed that gets up to chair height once blown up. Slide the deflated bed under your parent. Plug up pump and turn it on. Hold them steady while it inflates. Once its full they should be able to swing their legs over the side and you can help them stand.
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Shecargre1 Aug 2020
That sounds like a great idea! I’m going to check on cost and size
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Having 2 full knee replacements n weighing more than before them, my experiences are different. However, I just want to mention that when I was sitting in a foldout chair at the beach, ( I didn’t know it was broken). It’s much harder to get up from sand. A man sitting a ways away saw me n came to help me up from the sand. The man put his elbow under my arm pit and with his other hand he took my free hand and lifted me up carefully and slowly with no pain. I’m so thankful for his help. It was a good way to help me up. He even helped me to my car, carry my stuff n put it in my trunk. Kindness goes a long way. 🤗👍
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Marypamela Aug 2020
H, when he put his elbow under your armpit, how did he do that? Was he next to you, or in front? I would love to know..I have been falling because of neuropathy in foot, and would love to be able to instruct whoever helps me next time. Thanks! Mary Landry
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I wind up calling EMT’s or paremedics. The problem is if they come to often to your house they threaten to take your LO to a nursing home or report you for abuse. It’s expensive but You can get an inflatable to put under them to get them in a sitting position to stand up. Haven’t been able to afford one as they cost about 1500.00. Hoyer would be great as well! Also expensive
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chill47 Aug 2020
Do not call EMT or Paramedics; especially if he isn't hurt. Call 911 and state, "This is a non-emergency and I need a lift assist", there is NO CHARGE for this service, it is there to help. If the fire fighters find that he is hurt (with your permission only), they will call an ambulance to transport him to nearest hospital and they will allow you to ride along with them.
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While you are getting PT for your hubby, have the therapist show YOU ways to A: strengthen your back and B: use your strength 'wisely' to help DH get up.

My old client loved me b/c I was so strong. She would literally just go limp and let me do all the work of getting her in and out of the car. It was brutal on me, and one day at PT the therapist asked me if I'd like a crash course in helping my client. He really helped me to help her. A 'dead weight' of 150 lbs was like picking up a huge bag of sand. I cannot describe how we worked this-it's something that you need to see and practice hands on with the therapist watching.

Brute strength is not necessary to lifting a person.
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Take a look at the RAIZER LIFT CHAIR...https://www.liftup.us/products/raizer/

Yes, it is frightfully expensive and cumbersome, BUT it works and you don't end up with a broken back.
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I can honestly tell you that not ONE person can help lift a heavy person. It is impossible. Usually TWO people get together and their shoes meet together and then they both pull the person up. If his man is. falling this often, he cannot stay home. It is very unsafe for him and you can't lift him. I speak from experience. It can't be done. There is no way to get him up alone.
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OldArkie Aug 2020
Also, you are likely to hurt him even more by pulling on his arms or shoulders. And if you try to bear hug and lift them, provided you don't hurt you own back, you will likely bruise them badly and maybe worse. If they can't help themselves at least a little, you best call 911. They are trained to do this!
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Call 911. That's what they are for. If you hurt yourself, who will take care of both of you?
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DO NOT TRY TO LIFT HIM! My husband has LBD and has multiple falls and has also fallen out of his bed also. Once he falls, he cannot recover, he is on hospice, but he can still get around with his walker very slowly. I was told when he falls, to call 911 and let them know, "this is a non-emergency, I need a lift assist"' they will send out the fire dept., the men come in and make sure he isn't hurt, take blood pressure and sometimes temperature and will lift him up and put him back in bed or allow him to walk to living room to sit in his recliner. I have had to call twice in one day. I was like you, before I knew about this FREE service, I struggled trying to lift him and hurting my back, because he can't help me either. Please use this service, they come out quickly. Hope this info helps you.
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