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My Mother is trapped. This man who I shamefully claim as my father is mean. If you knew him you would have zero sympathy. He threatens to "end it". He is a miserable joke of a human. He cant hold his bowels. Can walk but maybe 10 steps with a walker. He is end stage heart failure. Refuses to go to a home or facility of any kind and insist my elderly mother take care of him. What do we do? Does she need to divorce him to get out of this horrible situation? She lives in Georgia USA. Thanks

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If she is willing, get HER away from HIM. Mom has no obligation to care for an abusive old man who happens to be her husband. If he suffers from dementia, call APS on your way out and report a vulnerable elder living alone. They will place him if they see a need. Then you can move mom back home.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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It is up to your mother whether or not she wishes to divorce.
I assume his abuse isn't new. She has stayed how many years? I would assume she will remain.

Again, this is for you to ask your mother, not us.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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My thinking is what does your mom want? My mother would and did, and even though dad is gone, she will "stand by her man" until the day she dies.

Often an abused person will not leave, then you mix age in years in there , it's impossible.

Honestly I highly doubt, there is anything you can do.

So sorry and best of luck
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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You don't say how old your Mom is or whether she had any cognitive, memory or physical decline of her own.

You cannot force her away from this man if she has all her mind. If she doesn't, and no one is her PoA, then you can try a therapeutic fib to get her out of the house long enough for APS to remove your Father. And do not tell your Father what you are up to. Don't tell your Mom until it's close tot the time for her to leave with you and you'll need to make sure she doesn't tell your Father.
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Reply to Geaton777
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