I cannot put an untrained puppy on an airplane in a dog carrier for 2 hours. I cannot drive 1 1/2 days either. They do not want to come up to spend the month with us. First my mom is ok with me not being with her and now she’s making me feel guilty by sounding so sad. Help!?
Really, you don't want the opposite of sounding sad. It's a compliment. Reply with you feel the same and that you'll be thinking of them and about how grateful you are for her understanding especially at this time.
Send her and your dad eight cards from the dollar store. Write something touching in each, maybe a memory. The eighth one is for good luck wishing them another 10 years. Send one of those chocolate covered fruit bouquets. Tell them that you'll be look up at the night sky on their anniversary and will be thinking about their amazement journey over 70 years and how proud you are of them.
If your mom is actually guilting you, tell her - "Seriously mom, I need this rest". And don't give details. "Everything will be fine if I'm quiet for a little while".
So sorry.
Seems to me someone's just looking to stir up drama.
My Mom just didn't want to have engraved trays, dishes, vases, picture frames, etc. that she would rarely use. She was delighted with a nice Hallmark card, a telephone call, and a vase of flowers.
Such celebrations work if the grown children live in the same general area. Travel today is a nightmare.
We had 2 visitors last week, and after they flew back home, one of them tested positive for covid, and she is pretty sick right now. Knock on wood, we don't have any symptoms. They had run into plane delays and cancellations, packed airports, packed plane thus chances are that is where covid was introducing itself.
It may be helpful to ask your puppy's vet and a dog grooming place near you - they usually have other options to consider, and possibly someone on their staff could take your puppy in while you're away and pet sit. I don't know if your town has doggy day care - sometimes, they'll house dogs while people are on holiday/vacation (and it's not like typical boarding/kennels - a lot of really nice for the pampered pup) - plus, they may be able to help train your pup while you're away - you may even want to hire a pet sitter to stay at your house (there are listed and bonded companies)...or are there any friends,family, neighbors, etc who'd take your puppy in for that time frame? You could google "pet sitters" and it's pretty common to find companies that arrange this.
These are options to consider that may make you more comfortable - I'm a very big dog lover and while traveling for business, I had to be very creative to make sure my little pup was always provided for! And congrats to your parents for 70 yrs - that's a terrific celebration to be part of - if it's what you'd like to do.
Could you trust a reliable pet sitter for a few days?
At 90 years old do you really think your parents can fly to you. To be honest, I don't know if I would fly to them with the way things are now. Not just the security thing but the COVID thing. We have never had it but contracted it somewhere on our trip. Flights are being cancelled left and right.
Not everyone makes 70 yrs of Marriage. Its a shame u will miss it because you have no one to care for the puppy. You wouldn't even trust your vet to kennel the pup?
:)
70 is amazinnnnng. please go. i hope you do. please write back to us, "i went!"
(if your puppy could talk, i bet he would say, "gooooooo to your parents, woof, woof!")
(dogs are very wise).
such moments must be celebrated to the maximum!! your parents are probably 1 in a billion, who've been married 70 years. amazing.
my parents had a big wedding anniversary, too (not 70, but still big). i organized a huge party for them, secretly carrying roses and more roses through the backdoor. scrumptious food. live music. a beautiful photo album, with pictures that were even taken earlier that morning on their wedding anniversary. i presented the album to them in the evening.
your parents will appreciate any effort you make. 70 is incredible.
bundle of joy :)
It isn't that big of a deal for the OP to be there if there is not going to be a huge party to commemorate this milestone. Chances of this happening at their age is probably slim to none.
No party. No reason for OP to drive a day and a half or fly just to be there. Thats like saying OP should have to visit their parents on every birthday, Christmas, Halloween, Easter, etc because at their age it might be their last one.
Mother 100% is gas lighting OP with manipulation. For Pete's sakes the OP has got to be over 65 at this point and still being guilted by mom. More than likely a tactic and dynamic that is part of their relationship.
Why can't OP just visit another time? Why does it have to be on the exact date of the 70th anniversary? How often does OP visit their parents?
A 70th anniversary is a pretty big deal. My guess is your parents are in their 80's or 90's. how many more are they going to have.
You mention in your profile you are caring for someone with cancer...if it is either of your parents then you should make all the more effort to be there.
Sorry to heap a burden on your shoulders. Did not want to use the "G" word but I think you would feel sorry if this was a missed opportunity.
Don't understand why you cannot drive there, if you need help ask a friend to go along with you to help you drive.
You have made your decision be honest with them, you do not want to go. That's the bottom line.
"I can't come to your party, you should have given us more notice, but why don't you two people in your nineties get on a plane and come to us for a month instead?"
And what about their dog? Do they still have a dog?
I never quite know what to say when posters seem to be asking for confirmation that it is absolutely fine for them to do whatever it is they're going to do anyway.
Your parents' 70th wedding anniversary has been in the calendar for seventy years. Did you not guess they might like to celebrate it? - and perhaps have "a bit of a do" that might involve people besides just yourself?
If you don't want to go, don't go. But don't expect your mother to be okay with it - it isn't okay.
"I understand your 70th anniversary is a milestone occasion that few people live to see and that you'd like to have your whole family together for such an auspicious occasion, but my puppy is more important to me than you are."
Seems like that's the gist of it, right? Since you'd never board your dog, we know he'll be your top priority longer than your parents will be alive, so you might as well tell them not to count on you from here on out.
Shame on you.
Would you be able to listen to a puppy barking in distress for more than 5 hours in the airport and on the plane? My parents are welcome to come to our home for a month! I would never board my dogs either and neither would they! I just wanted to know what to say to my parents.
Nobody was saying to take it onboard the plane.
My dogs love going to the kennel for boarding. Both started at 4/5 months and know the trip and turn off by memory. They start getting very excited on the last few turns of the road.
Why should your parents travel away from their home for a month? They must be in their late 80's or early 90's.
So you tell them you feel that they are being selfish because they will not come to your house. This is gaslighting.
Or you say Mum, Dad, I love you very much. I wish I could see you for your anniversary, but as puppy is so young I do not feel comfortable boarding him or bringing him on the plane.
You can easily board the puppy and/or drive your car to her home or fly there. Own it if you choose not to. And if you feel guilty as a result, so be it. You can't have it both ways.
I found that my parents, who also were in their 90's, still viewed me as being 35 with a ton of energy, still traveling the world, yada, yada, yada. I just couldn't convince them that I, too, was a senior citizen. Those days of long travel was now history.
Don't use the puppy as an excuse, just tell your parents that traveling is difficult now a days. Covid is peeking around the corner again, masks will probably need to be required to fly, staff shortages, and rude angry passengers, not to mention very long lines, and flight delays. Plus shortages of rental cars.
Don't forget, what I listed above, your parents would face if they came to visit you.